Where Walls Once Stood the continuation
by Tegan's Muse
Summary: Picks up where "Where Walls Once Stood" ended. Olivia and Dana are in a relationship, as are Abbie and Alex, but things are about to change. Alex/Abbie, Olivia/Scully OFC
1. Truth or Dare

A/N: So I wrote this forever ago, I think I actually started it back in 2003. If you haven't read the first crossover "Where Walls Once Stood", you should probably read it first, but you don't have too. Sorry for any errors but this one wasn't beta'd and I am just putting out there for your entertainment. Disclaimers available in the first chapter of "Where Walls Once Stood"

* * *

Truth or Dare

Alex wasn't sure why she had invited Olivia and Dana to dinner at her place. She sighed nervously as she looked over the table setting. Strong hands entwined around her waist and pulled her in for a hug from behind. "Everything will be fine."

Alex melted in her arms. Abbie had that effect on her, at times. At other times she seemed to be distant and detached. Alex wasn't sure what it was. The minute she started thinking there was someone else; the old Abbie would plant a kiss in the small of her neck. "It's just, I've only hung out with Dana once since the night Olivia locked us in her office. Even then it was to grab a celebratory drink at O'Malley's with the entire SVU, after I finished the Cradley case."

"It'll be fine." Abbie assured, nuzzling her nose into the hair flowing down the back of Alex's neck. "Besides, you two haven't argued in over a week."

"I haven't seen her in over a week." Alex pulled away as the timer in the kitchen went off. "I just hope dinner isn't a disaster."

"I love your lasagna."

"I know, but this is the first time I have tried my hand at a vegetarian dish."

"She's not a vegetarian you know?"

"I know." Alex was pulling the lasagna out when the doorbell sounded. "Will you get that?"

"Of course." Abbie headed out to the living room.

* * *

The white wine Dana had brought along finished off the meal perfectly. It was a good thing no one had to work the next day, since between the four of them they had almost finished off both bottles. Of course it didn't take much to get any of them giddy. Despite Alex's drunken stupor the night she came to apologize, the young ADA was not one to normally drink more than the occasional glass of wine with dinner. Olivia knew Alex was particularly stressed whenever she would find Coronas in her fridge. Dana rarely drank and Olivia was known to have the sporadic beer with the guys at O'Malley's. As for Abbie, no one was really sure, not even Alex. Lately it seemed more and more often Alex could taste the remnants of Scotch on her lips.

The dinner conversation mingled with wine carried on for an hour after they had finished the lasagna, which Dana raved about. Once they moved to the living room, the conversation seemed to turn a little more risqué. It all started when Alex mentioned a game of Truth or Dare from her childhood. The first time she had ever kissed another female had been on a dare. It had been innocent enough, but you never could have convinced Mrs. Cabot of that. She had walked into the living room, where the slumber party was taking place and started screaming. With in an hour every child had been ushered out the door to return to her own bed. It was the first and last slumber party for Alexandra Cabot.

"We could change that you know?" Abbie grinned. "You've got enough pajamas to go around, and these two ladies have had too much to drink to go home on their own."

Olivia shrugged her shoulders.

"What do you think, Dana?" Alex didn't want anyone to feel uncomfortable, and found it hard to believe what Abbie was suggesting.

The redhead giggled gaily, and raised her almost empty wine glass. "Here's to reliving childhood."

"Hear, hear." Olivia bellowed as they all clinked glasses together.

While Alex retrieved pajamas for everyone, Abbie, Olivia, and Dana made short work of the dishes. The dishes were spared any mishaps, but the silverware wasn't as lucky. Abbie some how managed to scatter it all over the floor, which sent them into hysterics.

With the kitchen as clean as three partially inebriated women could get it, Dana and Olivia slipped into Alex's spare room to change. Olivia came out wearing a pair of blue satin bottoms and a white tank top. Dana was wearing a black tank top, with gray and black plaid bottoms that she had to roll the cuffs up on several times to keep from tripping. Abbie was situated on the couch in an oversized navy blue t-shirt. And Alex was "Pretty in Pink," wearing satin bottoms and a pink tank top.

"Bet you didn't wear that to your slumber party as a kid." Abbie laughed at Alex.

"Are you kidding? Mom would still flip out if she saw me in something like this without a robe over it." Alex watched Dana plop down on a floor pillow. "You know, there's plenty of room up here."

Dana smiled as Alex patted the couch. "I'm reliving my childhood. We always sat around in a circle on the floor when we'd stay with friends. I guess it was kind of like gathering around a campfire to tell ghost stories."

Olivia pulled a cushion off of the couch and joined Dana on the hardwood floor. When Alex gave her a funny look, she merely replied; "My butt isn't fourteen anymore."

Alex and Abbie moved the coffee table out of the way and quickly joined them, cushions and all. "So? Who is going to start?"

"Start what?" Alex looked curiously at Abbie.

"Truth or dare, silly." Abbie smiled.

"What are the rules?"

"First person asks every one a truth or dare, and then we go to the next person."

"It is my living room so, I'll ask first. And since you brought it up, you get to be the first one on the chopping block." Alex grinned. "So what'll it be, Ms. Carmichael?"

"Truth."

Alex thought for a minute. "Why Scotch?"

"Jack's choice after a hard day of work."

"Olivia, truth or dare?" Alex turned to face her.

"Truth."

"What was you're initial reaction to Dana?"

"My very first thought was, oh shit. Of course that was before I saw her, and then my second thought was OH, shit!" They all laughed at Olivia's facial expressions, which only proved to animate the memory.

"Dana?"

"Might as well stick with truth."

"Who is the last guy you kissed?"

"Mulder, and it wasn't sexual in nature."

"My turn." Abbie got onto her knees like an excited child. "Alex, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"How old were you, when you first kissed a guy?"

"15."

"Olivia?"

"Truth."

"First guy you kissed?"

"Captain of the football team. I was a freshman, he was a senior."

"Dana?"

"Truth."

"Has Agent Mulder ever probed you?" Abbie grinned.

"I'm sure he has, but only in his dreams."

Olivia went next, followed by Dana. They stuck with simple questions, when did you last wet the bed? What's your most memorable moment to date? Most embarrassing? Then it was Alex's turn again, and she decided to spice things up and ask Abbie one of her own questions. Not realizing she may be opening a can of worms. "Who was the last guy you kissed?"

"Jack."

"When?"

"One question at a time Alex, I believe it's Olivia's turn."

"I'll stick with truth." Olivia didn't want them to dwell on whatever Abbie was trying to hide.

"Fine. If Elliot wasn't married and Dana wasn't in the picture, would you sleep with him?"

"We are really good friends, and anything would be possible. But if I were presented with that opportunity right this second, probably not."

"Fair enough. Dana, if you could sleep with anyone in the world who would it be? And it can't be Olivia."

Dana looked at Alex for a second with the hint of a sparkle in her eyes.

"Or anyone in this room." Alex cleared her throat.

Dana nodded. "Anyone? That's easy, Richard Greer."

"Good choice." Olivia smiled.

When they finished the second round Abbie was getting bored. "Let's make this a little more random."

Alex looked at Abbie who was hugging a pillow to her chest. She wasn't sure if she really was bored, or just avoiding the question of when she kissed Jack. "What do you suggest?"

"We've got an empty wine bottle." Abbie placed one of the empty bottles in the center of their little circle. "Spin the bottle, and whoever it lands on gets to ask you the question."

"Fine." Alex waited for everyone to agree, before spinning the bottle. When it landed on Abbie, she couldn't miss the evil grin that flashed across Abbie's lips.

"Truth or Dare?"

"Dare." Alex decided to turn things around, thinking Abbie was expecting her to say truth.

Abbie smiled and looked at Dana. "Kiss Dana, full on the lips for thirty seconds."

Alex shook her head.

"Oh come on Alex, it's all in good fun." Abbie looked at Dana and her grin got even bigger. "Or you could always strip naked, go next door and ask old Mr. Hawkins if he has any whipped cream you could borrow."

Dana leaned over and quietly whispered in Olivia's ear. "I wouldn't even wish that on my worst enemy."

Olivia replied in hushed tones. "So, save her. It won't bother me."

"You sure?"

Olivia nodded.

"Alex?" Dana stood up and pulled her to her feet. "Under the circumstance, I'll let you kiss me."

"A knight in shining armor?" Alex asked nervously.

"I wouldn't go that far. If Mr. Hawkins saw you naked he'd probably go into cardiac arrest."

"Oh, so you don't want to perform CPR tonight?"

"You might have an interesting time telling the police what happened. Besides I'd rather kiss you, than give him mouth to mouth any day."

"I second that thought." Olivia shuddered, remembering seeing Mr. Hawkins on their way in that evening.

Before Dana could say another word she felt Alex's soft lips on hers. To Olivia's surprise, she wasn't the slightest bit jealous of Dana kissing Alex. In fact if she were completely honest, it was somewhat of a turn on.

Alex was shocked when halfway through the kiss she thought she felt the satin wetness of Dana's tongue lightly touch her lips. It took every ounce of will power she had to not ravish the smaller woman's mouth. Instead she tried desperately to convince herself it was just her imagination, and maybe it was.

When Abbie called time they pulled away. Dana wasn't sure what the feeling was in the room, but she quickly cleared it. "I guess I'll spin."

The bottle landed on Abbie. "Must be my lucky night. What'll it be, Dana?"

"Truth."

"Who kisses better, Alex or Olivia?"

Dana took a deep breath. "You're asking me to compare apples and oranges."

"So, who is the apple and who is the orange? More importantly, do you like apples or oranges better?" Abbie was on a roll.

"What I meant, was Alex and I did not kiss in the same way Olivia and I have kissed. So it would be impossible to compare them."

"You're treading water Dana."

"I think her answer was honest, and acceptable." Alex defended.

"I have to agree." Olivia spun the bottle, which again landed on Abbie. "Truth."

"How did you feel watching Alex and Dana kiss?"

"It's getting late." Alex picked up the bottle.

"I think Olivia should answer the question." Abbie argued.

"How about you answer the question of when you last kissed Jack?" Alex shot back.

"You're right." Abbie stood up and threw her cushion back on the couch. "It's getting late. So are we keeping up to slumber party standards and all sleeping in the same bed?"

"I think we are all a little big, for sleeping in one bed." Dana observed.

"No, we're all just the right size for Alex's king. I think it will accommodate us nicely."

"As long as I get the outside."

"Olivia Benson is claustrophobic?" Abbie raised her eyebrows.

"Just a little."

"Me too." Abbie laughed as she led the way to Alex's room.

"Guess you and I are stuck in the middle." Alex offered in way of condolences over the situation.

"As long as you don't bite, Counselor."

"Not at all, Agent." Though there was a bit of a bite to her current tone.

* * *

The following morning Abbie was sleeping on the opposite side of Alex with her back toward them. Dana could feel two arms draped over her body. Some time in the night her shirt had slid up some, and she could feel a hand just under the fabric. Before opening her eyes, she had a pretty good guess it didn't belong to Olivia. The other arm lay a little lower across her hips, until it moved away. She felt feather light fingers brush her hair off her forehead.

Rays of pink and yellow shone through the window, and in the early morning dawn blue eyes met brown amused ones. Dana's gaze went from Olivia's eyes to the upward turn of her lips. A quite chuckle escaped Olivia's throat as her eyes dropped to the trespassing hand, which in sleep caressed Dana's belly.

Olivia slipped quietly out of bed, and Dana carefully followed. She figured it was best to save Alex any embarrassment of waking up with her hand inside her shirt, instead of Abbie's. Olivia was in the spare room pulling her clothes from the night before on. "Let's leave a note and go get some coffee."

* * *

They sat across from each other, eyes gazing across steam clouds rising from gourmet coffee. Olivia was the first to break the silence. "So, apples or oranges?"

Dana tilted her head slightly. "You can't compare a closed mouth kiss with an open mouthed one."

"Try. Besides, your first kiss with Alex wasn't closed."

"Olivia, I like apples and oranges. But you are by far the best kisser. The first time Alex and I kissed, we both lacked passion."

"And last night?"

"I thought you were ok with it?" Dana paused, but continued before Olivia could answer. "It wasn't even a kiss Olivia. It was a dare."

"Ok." Olivia shrugged.

"Do I hear a tone of disappointment?"

"No."

"Turn about is fair play." Dana smiled slightly. "What did you feel when Alex and I kissed?"

"I don't know." Olivia stared into her mocha-chino.

"Sure you do." Dana lifted her mug in both hands. "Did you feel jealously? Desire? Indifference?"

Olivia shrugged. "Maybe a hint of desire. But I know how you feel about Alex."

"And how is that?" Dana asked curiously taking a cautious sip of her coffee.

"You would just as soon slap her as talk to her."

"I wouldn't go that far." She sat her cup back down. It was still too hot to comfortably drink.

Olivia's right eyebrow arched in a questioning look, as she remembered the way Dana had looked at Alex last night. When asked if she could sleep with anyone, who would it be? Olivia now recognized the hint of intrigue that had shone in Dana's eyes. Olivia continued her questioning gaze of Dana until she spoke again.

"We are all entitled to our fantasies, Olivia."

"And just who are you fantasizing about?"

Dana broke into a wide grin. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"I sure would." Olivia nudged her foot against Dana's under the table.

"Don't worry Olivia, I've been dreaming of you for years. You'll always be a part of my fantasies." Dana took another sip of her coffee. It had cooled enough to be tolerable.

"But you don't have to fantasize about me." Olivia pointed out.

"No, but you are still a part of my fantasies." She made a face.

"Is it that bad?"

"No." She took another sip before feigning horror. "You, me and Alex?"

"She's got Abbie. Besides, it would never happen."

Dana raised both eyebrows, "We can dream."

Olivia smiled at her with curiosity pooling in her eyes. "That we can."


	2. The Letter

The Letter

Off and on through out the day, Alex's mind wandered back to the game of Truth and Dare. Had it only been three days ago? The two things she focused on most were Abbie's recent detachment, and Dana.

Where to start with that one? Trying to figure Dana out was like trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle with only half the pieces. Alex had woken up Saturday morning before the sun rose to find a feeling of complete comfort. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt that relaxed, or if she ever had. Then she opened her eyes and realized the hand she believed to be resting on Abbie's abdomen was resting on Dana's instead. Afraid to wake the woman by any sudden movements, she drifted back to sleep. When she awoke again, it was to an empty bed.

Abbie had left a note that she had plans the rest of the weekend, and would be unreachable. Alex was willing to bet she was just avoiding her. In the kitchen was a note in Olivia's hand, explaining she and Dana went for coffee. At the bottom of the note, Dana had scrawled; "Let's do it again."

Alex's wandering mind was drawn back to the case file on her desk. Abbie was supposed to be gathering information for her using Jack's computer, but that had been hours ago. It was already well after dinnertime. Alex looked down at her silver crested watch, she'd just stop by Jack's office and she and Abbie could call it a night together.

Maybe tonight she would have the courage to tell Abbie their relationship was over. Things just hadn't been the same since Abbie came back. Sure the sex was great, but their relationship its self was void of emotion. Some time in the last week it occurred to Alex she was no longer in love with Abbie, at least not the woman Abbie was now.

* * *

Alex walked down the hall, and was relieved to see the door was half open and the light was still on. At least Abbie hadn't called it a night without stopping by to let Alex know. She took a deep breath running through her mind the conversation she needed to have with Abbie. As Alex stepped across the threshold, she heard Abbie moan and in the same instant she saw what was happening.

It took her a minute to process what she was witnessing. Abbie's mouth was covering Jack's. Her hands fumbling with his dark gray trousers, while his hand was sliding up under the hem of her crème colored skirt; Alex's skirt. Her attaché case fell from her hand with a resounding thud.

Abbie turned to face Alex. Her face flushing as she tried to smooth the wrinkles out of her suit. "Alex?"

Under the circumstances, Alex was remarkably calm. "I was just stopping by to tell you we should probably call it a night on the Rankin case, but it looks like you've already called it a night."

"Alex," Jack stepped forward. He didn't have a clue about Abbie's relationship with her. His only concern was of his career. "We can talk about this like adults."

"There is nothing to talk about Jack." Alex looked back at Abbie. "I'm glad my suit served some purpose today. Why don't you just keep it? Consider it a gift."

"Alex, it's not what it looks like." Abbie ran an absent hand through the tangled sable mass, which now adorned her head.

"And exactly what is it supposed to look like?" Alex picked up her attaché case, without waiting for an answer and walked briskly out of the office.

Once on street level she exited into the busy streets of New York City's nightlife. Suddenly she was no longer tired. Instead she was keyed up. Her thoughts of ending the relationship in hopes of keeping their friendship intact, lay forgotten. She wandered the streets with no particular destiny. Her mind playing back all the tell tale signs she had somehow over looked. Maybe more appropriately, chosen to ignore. The numerous nights Abbie had come home tasting of Scotch, smelling lightly of aftershave. Alex had conveniently convinced herself that it was from spending so much time in Jack's office. But then there was the admission during truth or dare, that Abbie had indeed kissed Jack. Proof beyond doubt that this was not a first time occurrence. She wondered why she couldn't have ended the relationship on a happier note? Why she couldn't go on blissfully believing Abbie had a good heart?

A flash of lightening lit the sky seconds before the clouds ripped open, drenching the city in a sudden downpour. Alex wondered who was directing this particular scene in her life, and if they could get anymore Hollywood cliché on her? At least her attaché case was waterproof. She looked up to see a single light on in the apartment complex that towered in front of her. Was it that late already? Had she been touring the streets of New York, until well after bedtime for most of the city?

It was Dana's apartment. Did she dare go up? Olivia's apartment wasn't that much further, but in all likelihood the detective was fast asleep, or should be. She let out a resigned sigh, and climbed the stoop. A long thin finger pressed the desired button to Dana's apartment.

Dana looked at her watch, wondering who could be buzzing her at midnight. Almost positive it was someone with the wrong apartment she depressed the intercom button. "Yes?"

"It's Alex. Do you have a towel I can borrow?" There was no answer, only the electrical hum of the door being unlocked.

When Alex stepped off the elevator Dana was standing in her open doorway with a thick white terry cloth bath towel in hand. "You look like a drown cat. Come on in."

"I feel like one." Alex looked down at her ruined suit. "Dry clean only. Why don't I ever think about that when I buy my clothes?"

Dana laughed lightly as she closed the door. Something was definitely wrong. Aside from the once drunk Alex, Dana had never seen her look anything but perfect. Tonight she was soaked through to the bone, and overall looked like death warmed over. "Go to the bathroom and get out of those wet clothes."

Alex sat her attaché case down at the front door and did as she was told. She knew there was no arguing with the woman. Dana disappeared into her room. A few minutes later she stood outside the bathroom door.

Hearing the tentative knock Alex opened the door. Dana's eyes traveled quickly down the blonde's underwear clad body to find the floor. It wasn't that she didn't find Alex's lithe form extremely intoxicating. It was more like she wished she didn't. She pulled Dr. Scully out of her hat. "You need to lose the wet underwear too."

Alex accepted the pile of clothes Dana was handing her. A little too shyly she answered; "I will."

"I'll be in the living room when you're done." Dana turned quickly on her heel and retreated to the safety of a bigger room. One in where no half naked women stood.

Dana was sitting on the couch when Alex came out. She was kind of cute in Mulder's old White Sox shirt, which was even too big on Alex. An old pair of his faded jeans hung on her hips, the bottoms rolled up ever so slightly. "Do you always keep a spare set of men's clothes lying around?"

"Sorry." Dana tried not to grin. "I've actually got a couple of Mulder's baseball shirts. They swallow me, but are comfortable for lounging in. And he kept a spare pair of jeans at my old apartment in case he was injured and had to sleep on my couch. They somehow moved with me."

"Well I'm glad they did." Alex sat down on the empty end of the couch. "If I wore your pants, I'd look like I was waiting for the big flood."

"Noah's Ark and all." Dana watched as Alex's half smile faded. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Of course not. I always walk around in a Versace suit, in New York City after dark in the pouring rain, when there's nothing bothering me."

For the first time since she'd walked into Jack's office Alex cried.

"I'm sorry." Dana apologized for upsetting her, as she moved closer to Alex. She placed a hand on her back and started rubbing small circles between her shoulder blades.

"It's stupid really." Alex wiped at her eyes with the back of her shirtsleeve. "I walked in on Abbie and Jack. She's been sleeping with him. If I would have just had the courage to tell her it was over last week."

"You can't blame yourself Alex." Dana hadn't known Alex was planning to end the relationship, but she hid her surprise well.

"She could have told me it was over. Does she even know how much she hurt me?"

Dana didn't answer. There was really no answer to be given. Instead she held Alex until she fell asleep in her arms.

* * *

Dana looked at the glowing red digital read out on the clock as she reached for the phone. It was 4:14; she managed to pick it up before it rang a second time. "Scully."

"Dana, it's Olivia. Abbie called in hysterics, she went to Alex's place after work and Alex never came home. Have you seen her?"

"She's sleeping on my couch." Dana fell back onto the bed.

"What? Why?"

"You'd have to ask her Olivia. I'm not sure she wants me sharing her secrets. But don't worry, I'm in my bed."

Olivia chuckled lightly. "I wasn't worried about that."

"I know you weren't." Dana smiled into the darkness; despite the fact no one was there to see it. "Tell Abbie she should go home and sleep in her own bed, and that Alex is safe. If she asks where Alex is, tell her you aren't at liberty to say."

"I'll see what I can do, then I'm coming over."

"Use your key, and be quiet when you come in. Alex needs her sleep." Dana had given her a copy of her key since she didn't have any family close by.

"Yes ma'am." Olivia hung up.

Thirty minutes later Olivia let her self into Dana's apartment, the smell of coffee was wafting out from the kitchen. She followed her nose, and found a tired Dana standing in front of the coffee maker. "You know watching it doesn't make your coffee come out any quicker."

Dana jumped at the sound of her voice. "I didn't hear you come in."

"You told me to be quiet." Olivia held her key up. "I thought this was only to be used in emergencies?"

"Well, this is an extenuating circumstance." Dana was glad Olivia remembered. "Do you want a cup?"

"Sure." Olivia watched Dana pull three mugs out of the cabinet. As she poured the first cup, her pager went off.

Her brow furrowed as she looked at the number. "It's Warner, which probably means she's up to her eyeballs in bodies."

Olivia took the proffered mug from Dana and leaned against the dishwasher while Dana called Warner back. After a few minutes Dana hung up. "Could you stay here, and get Alex up at five-thirty?"

"I'm already up." Alex stood in the doorway stretching out her back. "You could have woken me up, told me to go home."

"You were sleeping sound, and I figured you didn't want to go home."

Alex nodded. "What are you doing here?"

"Abbie called my house around four looking for you freaked out cause you didn't come home." Olivia watched Dana push past Alex.

Before she could make it by though, Alex rested her hand on her forearm, effectively stopping her. "Thank you Dana, I do feel much better this morning."

"Glad to be of service."

"You want to tell me what's going on?" Olivia poured a cup of coffee for Alex, as she began to rehash the previous evening for the detective.

* * *

Two weeks had passed with Alex successfully avoiding Abbie. Whenever Arthur would call to see if she needed any assistance, Alex assured him she was doing fine on her own. She had be handling SVU's caseload on her own for three years, why should that change. She had even gone so far as to have the locks to her apartment changed. She told the landlord that she thought someone had been in her apartment, and in her line of work she couldn't be too careful. All just to keep Abbie from being inside when she came home from work, or from Dana or Olivia's place. She was spending more time with the two of them than she spent on her own.

She looked down at her current case and realized she was missing the autopsy report from Agent Scully. At almost that exact moment Abbie appeared in the doorway to her office. "Alex?"

"I'm in the middle of something." Her glasses were perched precariously on her nose, and she decided not to make eye contact.

Abbie ignored her cold tone, and stepped in. "You need a break, lets go grab a bite to eat."

"No. What I need, is to finish reviewing this case." Alex slid her thumb and forefinger under her glasses, lifting them slightly so she could rub the bridge of her nose.

"It's not going anywhere." Abbie walked up to the edge of her desk. "You've still got plenty of prep time. Besides, we need to talk."

"I really don't want to talk about it." Alex tried to ignore the close proximity between her and Abbie. It was no small task, ignoring the heat radiating off the other woman's body.

Abbie reached down and deftly closed the file Alex was pretending to be immersed in. "Come on. I won't take no for an answer."

Alex picked up the file, pushed her chair back and stood up. "I've got plans."

"Fine." Abbie watched as Alex grabbed her light coat and scarf. Then she followed her down the hall.

"You're following me." Alex said tersely, before stepping on to the elevator.

"Just because we are both going down, doesn't mean I am following you." Abbie stood close to her in the elevator. She knew invading Alex's space when they weren't intimate annoyed her to no end.

When they reached street level she followed Alex out of the building and down the block. Alex picked up her pace hoping to lose Abbie before she got to the precinct. Maybe she should have just taken a cab. She stepped into the precinct and was able to catch the elevator and head up before Abbie could get on. She smiled to herself, at the small victory.

A victory that was too short lived. As the elevator doors slid opened, they revealed a breathless Abbie standing there triumphant.

"Now you're following me!" Alex yelled as she walked into the SVU bullpen, and stormed past Elliot and Olivia who were standing at the whiteboard. "Is Agent Scully in her office?"

"She should be." Elliot replied. Confused at Alex's lack of professionalism, until he saw Abbie following close behind. He wasn't sure why, but recently any time he mentioned Abbie's name around Alex, she would shoot daggers in his direction.

"What's gotten into her?" Fin looked over from his desk as Elliot shrugged.

Abbie managed to catch up to Alex rather quickly, and without much effort. When she was within reaching distance, she grabbed Alex's right wrist. Before Alex could pull away she felt the cold steel close around it. Pulling against the restraint only pulled Abbie closer, since she had already attached herself to the other end.

"Damn it Abbie, take it off!" Alex pulled hard against the handcuffs, jerking Abbie off balance.

"My office now!" Cragen's voice bellowed through the bullpen.

"Dad's pissed." Fin looked at Elliot. "And you're probably next."

"Me? I didn't do anything." Now Elliot was utterly confused.

"Carmichael snagged your cuffs off your desk."

Elliot looked at his desk, and absently smacked his forehead. Then he turned to Fin. "And you just sat there and watched her do it?"

"That woman was on a mission, I wasn't about to interfere." Fin threw his hands in the air in mock surrender.

"Chicken shit." Munched teased.

"I didn't see you stoppin' her either." Fin shot back to his partner.

"I've got enough exes to know when not to step in a woman's path." Munch shrugged his shoulders. Then nodding his head towards Cragen's door commented; "I'd like to be a fly on the wall."

"Not me." Olivia spoke for the first time since the whole incident started.

* * *

"What the hell is going on here?" Cragen's face was red with anger as he slammed his office door shut.

Alex jerked her wrist upward, bringing Abbie's along with it. If she was going to have to suffer being attached to Abbie for any length of time, she was going to make sure the other woman suffered some. Pointing at the restraining implement, Alex huffed with indignation; "Ms. Carmichael has obviously lost her mind. If she ever had one to begin with."

"Is this really necessary Ms. Carmichael?" Cragen gazed at the silver cuffs binding the two women together.

"Ms. Cabot and I are having some major problems with our working relationship." Abbie stated what was likely the understatement of the year. Not only regarding their professional relationship, but their personal one as well. "And since she wouldn't give me the time of day…"

When Abbie's voice trailed off, Cragen responded. "You thought you'd take it?"

"I figured this way, she wouldn't have any choice but to talk to me." Abbie wrenched her wrist back down to her side in one swift movement. The action pulled Alex slightly off balance. Abbie realized as she did so, how ridiculously stupid her actions must look. Most ADAs did not handle themselves in this manner. Then again Abbie was not most ADAs.

Cragen who was keenly aware of Abbie's quirks shook his head in frustrated amusement. "I'm really not sure why it is so important to repair your working relationship. I heard you gave notice, and are returning to Washington."

"Yes, the US Attorney even offered me a raise to return to my prior position. I really couldn't refuse under the circumstances." She wasn't being completely honest, but then again Abbie never really was. There was no raise, and no groveling from an over appreciative US Attorney. It had merely been a simple request, or more likely an offer. Her replacement had cracked under the pressure. He had messed up so bad in fact; he let a known drug lord walk without so much as a slap on the wrists. The US Attorney had called to see if New York had bored her to tears yet, and asked if she wanted to reclaim the position. The call had come on the heels of Alex walking in on her and Jack. She had accepted the offer knowing it was the only way she could escape the hell she had made for herself in the city.

"Well, congratulations Counselor." Alex's tone held all the chill of an Artic wind. She wasn't sure how she had been kept out of the loop on that one. "I couldn't be happier for you. As for repairing our working relationship, considering your new position, I don't see the need to repair it."

"On the contrary Alex. I don't like to leave loose ends hanging. Besides I'm here for another month." Abbie paused, unable to read Alex's expression. "Quiet frankly our current work situation isn't effective, by any means."

"I certainly know I can't handle another month of this." Cragen pulled his keys from his pocket, and carefully disconnected the two women. Alex rubbed her wrist. "I suggest you two ladies go to lunch, and try to come to some sort of agreement regarding your working arrangements over the next month. I also suggest you do it in a civilized manner, Ms. Carmichael."

"Thank you." Abbie smiled ruthlessly, knowing Alex would have to comply or risk looking like a total ass. Which was something Alexandra Cabot never willingly did.

"I'll be out in a minute." Alex closed the door after Abbie exited the office.

"You don't have to thank me." Don joked.

"Thank you?" Alex asked incredulously. "Is that what you think I am going to do?"

"Well I did free you from your unlawful restraint." Cragen offered in way of condolences over the situation.

"Only to force me to eat lunch with the enemy." Alex grimaced slightly. "I'd rather eat a plate full of Madagascar hissing cockroaches, then have to sit through that."

"What's going on Alex?"

"Nothing that won't blow over in the next few months I'm sure. But Don," She paused not quite sure how to phrase her request.

As if sensing what Alex was getting at, Don spoke. "We trust each other Alex."

She let out a sigh of relief, even though it went with out saying. "Thank you."

Abbie turned expectantly as the door to Captain Cragen's office swung open. A slightly resigned Alex stepped out into the bullpen. She reached one last time for an excuse to side step the whole event. "I don't have any cash on me."

"We can stop by your bank, it's on the way to Giuseppi's." Abbie replied. And before Alex was really aware of what was happening, they were walking out of the building together.

* * *

Alex had opted to use the indoor ATM, since there was a blustery wind blowing outside. Abbie stood off to the side, paying attention to only Alex. The sounds of bankers and customers going about their business enveloped them. The noise however was cut short, as a single shot rang out and then echoed off the old marble walls in the stunned silence that followed. Neither one of them had seen the armed robbers until it was too late. A spatter of blood and brains fell on the side of Alex's face, and sprayed her coat. The shot had come from behind her, and some where to her right, closer to the back of the building a man was shouting demands. "Everyone down on the ground!"

Her heart was pounding in her ears, but Abbie thought she heard one of the men announce he had a bomb. When she dared to look up, she saw the explosives strapped to his chest. Alex was on the ground not more than 25 feet from her. As Abbie scanned the building to approximate the number of people, Alex was slowly reaching in her coat pocket. Fingering the buttons on the phone she pushed what she hoped was the last number she'd dialed.

* * *

"Benson." Olivia answered her cell. She was just about to hang up when she heard muffled voices.

"Move it, before I blow your head off like I did his."

Something sounded over through the earpiece. To the untrained ear it would have sounded like a car backfiring. Olivia knew it was gunfire.

"Abbie!"

"Alex?" Olivia's voice was tentative as she waved the Captain over.

* * *

"Shit!" The young man with the smoking gun exclaimed.

"What'd you do Ted?" This came from the man Alex believed to be the ringleader.

"I didn't mean to shoot her, the gun just went off."

"You don't move."

Alex was met with the muzzle of a sawed off shotgun. "She's not dead. If I can stop the bleeding, she might not die. You've already killed one man, don't let her die too."

"What difference does it make?" The gruff man asked. His four henchmen held their guns pointed at various bankers and customers.

"I'm an assistant DA for the city. If you let me help her and don't kill anyone else, I will make sure the judge shows you some leniency."

"What makes you think I'm gonna get caught?"

Alex looked out the doors leading into the bank. The cavalry had just pulled up. She looked back at Abbie. "She's gonna bleed to death if you don't let me help her."

"Fine, just don't try anything stupid." He warned.

Alex moved the last few feet to Abbie's side. The last few weeks completely forgotten. "Abbie, it's ok."

Abbie moaned, as Alex assessed the wound. Even though she wasn't a doctor, Alex knew she had already lost a considerable amount of blood. She had been hit in the femoral area, and Alex couldn't be sure an artery hadn't been hit. She pulled her scarf off in an attempt to staunch the flow of blood.

"Alex."

"Shhh, you need to save your strength." Alex tried to quiet her, while applying pressure over the entrance wound.

"I'm not going to make it." Abbie replied weakly, as she watch Alex's eyes fill with tears.

"Don't say that you're going to be fine." Alex urged firmly, ignoring the bullhorn sounding in her head. LIAR! She continued to lean forward pressing all of her weight against the gapping hole.

"I never loved Jack, only you."

Before Alex could speak, Abbie's life force slipped right through her fingers. An anguished scream escaped her lips, drawing the attention of the two gunmen standing closest to her. Ted, the one who had shot Abbie, stood silently the color leaving his face. He had never killed anyone before. "What are we gonna do Boyd?"

"You're gonna shut up Ted, that's what you're gonna do." Boyd pointed the gun briefly at Ted in a threatening manner. "You really screwed up this time."

Even in her shocked state, Alex was able to pull herself back together. She concentrated on the conversation while still leaning over Abbie.

"Hey, ADA," Boyd nudged her with his gun. "Is she dead?"

Alex nodded slowly, as she looked up at the brains behind the operation. Abbie's cell phone rang, and Alex reached for it. Boyd pushed the barrel of his shotgun flush against her temple. "Let it ring."

"He killed an ADA." Alex's steely cold gaze locked onto him. "That's probably the negotiation team for NYPD calling to find out what your demands are. You do have demands right?"

"Fine, pull it out slowly."

Alex's hand trembled slightly, as she reached into Abbie's coat pocket. Her body was still warm, and if Alex hadn't known better she would have thought she were just sleeping. Bluish skin tones however, told a different story. She pulled the phone free, and handed it to Boyd.

"Yeah?" Boyd looked around.

"How many hostages do you have?"

"I'm running the show. I'll ask the questions." He stepped away from Alex keeping his gun trained on her head. "All you need to know is I've got plenty of back up in here, and enough C4 to blow up this entire block and then some. So you better listen carefully, I want a limo with a single driver. And a personal jet waiting at JFK to fly me to the Bahamas."

"That's going to take some time, but you are going to have to be willing to give something to us in return."

"We've already killed two people. If you don't want the death toll to rise, I suggest you get me what I've asked for." He disconnected the phone.

"That wasn't too bright." Olivia looked from the negotiator to Cragen, as Dana stepped forward.

"We need to find out how many people are in the building and if anyone else is injured."

"And just who do you think you are?" The head of negotiations eyed the short redhead.

"She's part of my team." Cragen answered before Agent Scully could. "And she's also with the Federal Bureau of Investigation, so you might want to listen to any input she has to offer."

The team jumped as another shot went off inside the building.

"Damn it Ted!" Boyd pulled the gun out of the boy's hands, at least that's what he looked like to Alex, a boy.

Abbie's phone rang again, and Boyd snatched it up to his ear. "What do you want?"

"We heard shots fired."

"Damn right, and if we don't get what we want there's gonna be more."

"We're working on that. But I need to know if there are any children inside, and if anyone is injured."

"Yeah, there's two kids. We also got a pregnant woman who says her water just broke. And a guy with a blown out kneecap."

"I want you to let the two kids and their mother go. Also the pregnant lady, and let us send in someone to check out the injured man."  
"You're crazy."

"We'll send in an unarmed paramedic."

"Yeah, well you'd better not try anything stupid, cause I've got my gun trained on a pretty blonde who says she's an ADA. I won't hesitate to send her to join the other two."

Twenty minutes later the two children and the pregnant woman exited the building. Five more minutes passed before Agent Scully entered the building wearing a bulletproof vest, which contained a wire. She put the medical bag she was carrying on the floor as instructed and put her hands in the air. Boyd sent Ted over to make sure she wasn't armed, and there was nothing damaging in her medical bag. He was too busy holding Alex at gunpoint to do it him self. "Check inside her vest you idiot."

"You know, I don't know why I put up with your shit." Ted shot back over his shoulder while removing the vest for Boyd's approval. "Slide it over your head."

Scully followed Ted's request, and handed him the vest.

"What the hell are you doing Ted?"

"Keeping you from shooting me in the back, Boyd. Etu Brute?"

"Whatever asshole." Boyd jerked the gun closer to Alex's head. "You, hurry it up."

Scully nodded and reached slowly for her bag. She couldn't help but flinch when she saw Abbie laying there, her once tanned skin now a stark gray. Alex looked scared shitless, but other then that she seemed to be holding up under the pressure. Scully approached the man who had been shot in the kneecap, and quickly assessed the wound. He was one of the bank managers, and someone had been thinking clearly enough to make a tourniquet out of his black leather belt. It was helping to slow the flow of blood, but he didn't have much time.

"He's got a severed artery and needs medical attention immediately." Scully turned to face Boyd.

"So give it to him."

"He needs surgical intervention in a hospital before he bleeds to death." She stated more firmly.

"I said I was letting you in, I didn't say I was letting anyone else out." Boyd smirked.

"He's going to die if you don't let him go."

"Let him go Boyd, we don't need anyone else dying in here." The plea came from the man holding a semi-automatic with explosives strapped to his chest.

Without warning, Boyd turn and fired a single round right between the other man's eyes. "So much for no one else dying. Anyone else got any complaints?"

The other gunman quietly shook his head no, and Ted just backed further away realizing the bulletproof vest wasn't going to do him any good. Dana silently hoped the other gunman would do something to piss him off. If this Boyd character killed off his last armed henchman, she would risk it, and take him on herself.

"Listen, Boyd is it?"

"What do you want?" He glared at the redhead.

"You really need to let this man go, if you don't they will make sure you don't live to see tomorrow."

"And just how do you think they will pull this off? Your just a damn paramedic."

"Actually I'm not. I'm a federal agent, and the minute you and your men step out of this building they've got sharp shooters waiting to take you out. Now if you spare this man's life, they may decide you aren't so bad after all and move the sharp shooters out of the way." She knew it was a gamble, but she couldn't watch this man bleed to death. "Besides, if you let me talk to the negotiator, I can pull some strings. Make sure you get out of here in on piece."

"Maybe she's right Boyd." It was the last armed henchman who spoke. "I mean I don't want to die."

Dana looked at Alex, and mouthed; "Alex move out of the way."

Of course before Alex had time to move she was pushed to the floor, as Boyd glared at the other man. "Then I guess it's your unlucky day."

Boyd never got a shot off though, instead the third man managed to fire his weapon hitting Boyd in the chest. Boyd instinctively grabbed his chest as his body was propelled backward from the force. He sputtered blood out of his mouth before falling to the floor.

"If you hand me the gun, I'll be sure to put in a word with the prosecuting Attorney on your behalf." It was all Agent Scully had to say and the man lowered his weapon. Within seconds the entire bank was crawling with swat personnel.

* * *

"Shouldn't you be at home?" The familiar voice of Jack McCoy floated across Alex's office.

She was buried under a pile of paperwork, and paused briefly to look at her watch. "I guess I could be asking you the same thing."

"I was, uh." He looked down at the envelope in his hand. It had been a week since the incident at the bank. "I was cleaning out Abbie's desk and found this."

Alex looked up and watched Jack's tired body skulk into the room. She glanced at the envelope even as he spoke his apologies. "Alex, I'm really sorry about what happened to Abbie. I know you two were really close friends. I'm not sure why my indiscretions with her caused such problems with your friendship, but I am sorry about that as well."

"Did you love her Jack?" Alex asked quietly.

Jack shook his head. "She was a great lady, and I guess I got caught up in her beauty. I'm sorry Alex, under the circumstances I wish I could say it had been more, but it wasn't."

Alex nodded and accepted the envelope with her name clearly written in Abbie's hand across it. "For what it's worth now, I didn't see anything."

"I appreciate that." Jack excused himself and disappeared into the half lit corridor.

Alex stood up and crossed the floor to close her door. Once she was situated back in her chair, she looked curiously at the envelope. It was late; maybe she should wait until morning to read it. But her curiosity prevailed and she plucked a letter opener out of her pencil cup. Sliding the implement carefully under the edge, she slid it upward and in one graceful movement the envelope was open. Thin fingers pulled out the stationary, and unfolded the letter.

_ My dear sweet Alex, if you are reading this then my latest attempt to talk to you has failed. Rather then wait until I am utterly dejected, I am writing this while I still hold an ounce of self-confidence. _

_As of Friday afternoon, I have handed in my resignation. In four more weeks I will be on my way back to DC. Please try not to show too much joy at my departure. My old job was offered back to me, without fanfare. So, with my tail tucked between my legs, I accepted. I cannot bare to see the hurt I have undoubtedly caused you. And like a coward, I am running away._

_ I can't begin to explain what happened between Jack and I. Or maybe I can, but I am not sure you could understand. I never loved Jack. I have never truly loved any one except you, and that scares the hell out of me. If the world were to find out about us, my parents would disown me. My plans for heftier positions in practicing law would be crushed. As would yours. So I turned to Jack in much the same way that I ran to Washington two years ago. To escape, to try and prove I wasn't in love with you._

_ My heart broke when I saw your face that day. I knew in an instant, I had ruined the only true thing I have ever really had. Even worse, I knew I had hurt you beyond repair. To tell you I am sorry, pales in comparison to what I have done. Not only have I broken your trust in me; but I also have quite possibly broken your heart. There are just some things that apologies cannot restore. Unfortunately, I believe that this is one of them. If I am wrong, please call me. Otherwise I will let you have your space._

_ I know I have never said it enough, but I've never meant it more. I will always love you Alexandra Cabot, Always._

_Regretfully and Eternally Yours,_

_Abbie_

Alex couldn't stop the onslaught of tears that rolled down her cheeks. Losing Abbie had been hard enough. She had told herself Abbie didn't really love her, and that seemed to make things easier to deal with, but now to know how Abbie really felt.

Alex absently pulled out her emergency stash of Ceurvo Gold. She couldn't remember the last time she had actually drank tequila straight, and tonight it burned all the way down. It seemed to be the only thing she could feel. She looked at the bottle and debated taking another stiff shot.

* * *

Dana scanned her office one last time before calling it a night, and as she did her eyes fell on an autopsy report she just knew Alex needed for an upcoming case. Without further thought, she grabbed the file and headed over to the ADA's office. Walking down the sidewalk Dana realized the Attorney just might not be in her office at this late hour. Deciding she needed the exercise regardless she continued on her journey. Of course she wasn't disappointed when she stepped off the elevator and could see the faint glow of midnight oil burning underneath Alex's office door.

After knocking and waiting for a response, which didn't come, Dana tested the doorknob. If Alex had gone home and left the light on, just maybe she had left the door unlocked. That being the case, Dana would just leave the report there, cut off the light and lock the door on her way out. The knob turned and the door gave way to Alex who had her head resting on a pile of paper work. An almost empty bottle of tequila was sitting out in plain sight for anyone to see. "Alex?"

"What?" She jerked her head up a little too fast. "Damn! Dana?"

"I think we need to find a better outlet for your emotions Ms. Cabot." Dana quietly admonished. She knew Alex wasn't an alcoholic, but this was the second time she had seen Alex after drowning her sorrows in alcohol. "What happened this time?"

"Abbie loves me."

"Yes, she loved you Alex." Dana nodded. What ever Alex wanted to believe at the moment was fine with her.

"She really loved me. See?" Alex pointed a shaky finger at the letter.

"I believe you Alex. Come on, we need to get you home."

"I'm not drunk." Alex stated for the record. "Although it was awfully tempting."

Dana smiled at the admission, and was pleased to see Alex stand up without any assistance.

"I don't know what to do? Or how to feel." Alex looked around the room. "Maybe I didn't love her enough."

"Alex, there is nothing you can do about it now. And who is to say what enough love is? You loved her with every part of yourself, and I believe that is all anyone can expect. You can't bring her back."

"Maybe it's for the best." Alex said somberly. "Even if she were here today, she couldn't make the sacrifices necessary to endure a relationship with me; or with any other woman for that matter. It doesn't make me miss her any less though."

"No one expects you not to miss her Alex. You need to grieve for your loss. And I know it won't be easy." Dana closed the space between them.

The slight slump of Alex's shoulders spoke volumes of her pain. Without another word she wrapped gentle arms around her, and pulled Alex against her chest. The taller woman leaned forward slightly burying her head in Dana's shoulder and let the tears fall.

* * *

Three weeks had passed since Alex had received Abbie's letter, and things were slowly returning to normal. The two weeks before her death had actually helped Alex. She didn't feel so alone, because she had made the choice to leave. It was a small comfort in the hand that fate had dealt. The other comfort had been found in Abbie's words. She too had planned on saying good-bye. Maybe not permanently, but she wasn't asking Alex to take her back either. Somehow in the weeks that followed the letter, Alex had found it easy to forgive Abbie.

She was sitting at Olivia's desk waiting for her and Elliot to return when Agent Scully came storming past her. A concerned Olivia followed her closely. "Dana?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Came the reply followed by an office door closing none to quietly.

Alex looked at Olivia with imploring eyes.

"It's nothing." Olivia shrugged, as Alex stood up. "Did you need something?"

"Yeah, did you work the Lipshitz case?"

"No, that was Munch and Fin." Olivia nodded in the general direction of their empty desks.

"Are you sure, they said you did?"

"Check the paper work, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't our case."

"That's just it, the paperwork is missing, as is the key piece of evidence. Your signature was on the evidence sign in log so I assumed it was your case."

"No, I responded with Munch that night, but after that…" Olivia's voice trailed off as Dana walked briskly through the bullpen. "You're not going to do that autopsy."

"Like hell I'm not." Dana continued her trek forward and out of the precinct.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" Alex asked. Her hands perched on her hips.

"Our current case is hitting a little too close to home;" Was the only explanation Olivia could come up with. She could still hear the breathless whispered "Emily," that had escaped Dana's lips at the scene.

"We can't pick the vic, Olivia." Elliot threw his jacket haphazardly over his chair, not understanding what the big deal was.

"No, but she doesn't have to do the autopsy. Warner isn't busy." Olivia bit back.

"Hitting close to home how?" Alex looked at Elliot who just shrugged. Even if he had heard Dana, he still wouldn't have a clue.

"It's a long and complicated story." Olivia rubbed at her brow trying to calm the tension headache that was brewing there.

Olivia didn't see Dana until the next morning. She had left several messages on her home answering machine, which were never returned. Of course when she saw Dana, she knew why. She never made it home to check her messages. Feet dragging slightly, Dana tossed the report onto Olivia's desk. "She was raped, and there was semen left in the vaginal cavity. I ran the DNA against hers, and it's a family member."

"Six years old." Elliot mumbled. "Six freaking years old!"

"Cause of death was blunt force trauma to the head. If I had to guess," Dana swallowed hard trying to push the image out of her head. "I'd say it was a headboard. Meaning it was accidental, if you can consider raping a six-year old accidental. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some other matters to attend."

Her face had been stoic. Agent Scully's face almost always was. Olivia was sure if she had known Dana as long as Agent Mulder had, she would be able to read the woman's emotion merely by the shifting blues in her eyes. Today the blues were muted, not their normal clear vibrant blue. Her voice was steady when she spoke, giving no leeway into what she was really thinking.

Elliot looked up to see Olivia staring in the direction of Agent Scully's office. She might not be able to read Dana all the time, but Elliot could sure read her. "She's fine Olivia. Stop worrying."

"Did she look fine to you?" Olivia asked, moving her gaze to her partner who was seated across from her.

"Yes, actually she did. A little tired, but she was up all night doing an autopsy."

"In other words, it's natural that she should look a little tired."

"Yes." Elliot nodded. "Heck, she looks ten times better then you do when you don't sleep at night."

"Just for that, you're buying lunch today." Olivia pushed herself to her feet. "Let's go see what we can dig up on this family."

* * *

At four o'clock Dana came out to find Olivia and Elliot back at their desks. "What'd you find?"

"Well, she has a brother who is sixteen and dad. There are no uncles on the father's side." Elliot shrugged. "I like the kid for it, but Cragen wants us to wait till tomorrow to bring him in for questioning."

"Why?" Dana couldn't believe Cragen would make such a request.

"He wants to see if he spills to any of his friends what he did." Olivia shrugged. "There is another possibility."

"What's that?" Elliot looked completely confused.

Olivia looked at Dana for a minute before continuing. "Well, mom said they had tried for years to have another child. When repeated attempts were unsuccessful they went to a fertility clinic. She said that the very first artificial insemination was successful. I told her I had a friend who was looking into fertility clinics, and asked where she went. She said she used the Hientz clinic."

"Didn't we shut them down?" Elliot asked as his gaze narrowed across the room.

"Two years ago." Olivia turned to see what he was looking at. "Do you know him?"

Elliot shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. "No just thought he looked familiar."

"Back to this Hientz Clinic, you said you shut it down two years ago?" Dana sat on the edge of Fin's desk.

"Yeah," Elliot leaned forward. "There were several reports of children being born with HIV, and both parents were negative. Initially each case had one thing in common."

"The Hientz Clinic?"

Olivia nodded. "Dr. Hientz was telling parents he was harvesting the mother's eggs and using the father's sperm. But on further investigation we found that each of the HIV infected babies had the father's DNA but not the mother's."

"So we started looking at other children procured through the clinic." Elliot continued. "I think we gave Cabot a headache on that one. Six out of ten children tested had the father's DNA and not the mother's. The other four had neither."

"Think we could get the parents to submit to a DNA test based on that case?"

"Dad wasn't willing to consent earlier today when we asked." Olivia looked at her watch. "But I can see if Alex can get a warrant based on the prior case."

"Thanks." Dana gave a small smile.

"I thought I told you to go home hours ago Agent Scully?" Captain Cragen walked into the bullpen.

"I've got a phone call to make and then I am calling it a day." She excused herself.

* * *

"I can't agree to that Alexandra." Judge Petrovsky started walking away from her.

Alex fell into easy stride beside her. "We have DNA evidence that someone on her father's side raped her before she died. That leaves us with only the father and brother."

"Yet you're asking for a warrant for mom and dad's DNA why?"

"Does the Hientz clinic ring any bells?"

Judge Petrovsky stopped in her tracks. Alex took one more step before turning to face her. "I'd say that's a yes if I've ever seen one."

"I don't know how I could forget that case, but I don't see why that has any basis on testing the mother's DNA?" Judge Petrovsky threw her hand up to stop any protest about to cross Alex's lips. "I will write up a warrant to test the father and the brother. You can pick it up tomorrow at noon."

"Why not now?"

"Alexandra, whining does not look good on you. I have a date, and I am taking the morning off."

Alex's raised eyebrows only received a grin from the retreating Judge.

* * *

"If you're not guilty than why won't you consent to a DNA test?" Agent Scully's black skirt and matching jacket gave her a look of power as she questioned Mr. Crenshaw. Of course Olivia, who was standing on the opposite side of the one way, didn't think she needed clothes to pull the look off. Dana's whole body radiated confidence and power, when she was in any of her elements.

A knock at the door drew the redhead's attention, seconds before it opened. "I'm Mr. Crenshaw's lawyer, if you will give us a minute."

"Certainly." Dana turned back to Mr. Crenshaw, and reached for his empty water glass. "Are you finished?"

When he nodded she scooped the cup up in her left hand, and turned toward the door. She was stopped short however by a firm grip on her upper arm. She looked down to see it belonged to Mr. Crenshaw's lawyer. "I don't know how they do things in the FBI Agent Scully, but that's not how things are done in the New York PD."

"Mister – I'm sorry I didn't catch your name."

"Black, attorney at law."

"Mr. Black, you will kindly remove your hand from my arm before I charge you with assault of a Federal Officer." She smiled mirthlessly. "Thank you."

She made it a point to drop the cup into the trashcan, before exiting the room.

Olivia looked over at Dana as she entered the observation room. "I thought you were going to bite his head off."

"Can you believe the nerve?"

Cragen looked at her with a slight grin. "Of him or of you?"  
"Not you too Captain?"

"Well, you could have gotten away with it. However it also could have been thrown out of court depending on the judge." He chuckled. "Assaulting a Federal officer? Remind me to never lay a finger on you."

"I don't like to be touched by underhanded defense attorneys. So, where's the warrant Cabot was supposed to get us?"

"Right here." Alex stepped into the room. "And Agent Scully, you have a visitor in the bullpen."

"Was he delivering a package?"

"You'd have to ask him. All he did was grin at me, like he knew something I didn't."

"Let me do the honors first and I'll see what he wants." Dana took the warrant from Alex's hand, and pulled a swab out of her pocket.

* * *

"Mulder?" Dana asked incredulously, when she saw him standing there talking to Munch.

"Scully." His smile failed as he noticed something akin to a scowl on her face.

"What are you doing here?"

"Delivering the materials you requested." He held up the sealed envelope. "You did call me last evening, or was that someone else?"

"I didn't expect you to be the delivery boy."

"Is that anything like a whipping boy?" Munch grinned.

"Not now John." Dana pointed to her office. "We can talk in there."

"It was nice meeting you John, we should get together for lunch while I'm in town and swap government conspiracy stories."

"That we should." Munch laughed as Dana pushed Mulder in the general direction of her office.

"What are you doing here?" She asked again as she shut her door.

"I thought we cleared that up out there?" He slumped into the chair opposite her desk, taking in the sight as she walked past him.

"You know what I mean."

"I had some vacation time saved up. I thought I'd take a few days, see if you needed any help."

"Mulder, I appreciate the gesture, but I can handle this." She sat down and crossed her legs.

"I didn't say you couldn't. But if you don't want my help or my support, I can always go sightseeing. Take in an Opera or something."

That earned a chuckle. "You, at the Opera? Stop the presses."

"Anyway," He shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "What's her name?"

"Katherine, can you believe it?"

"Cause of death?"

"Mulder, I really can't talk about the case." Dana reached up with her thumb and forefinger and began to rub her temples. The gesture did little to stop the ache that had started moments before Black had interrupted her in the interrogation room.

"I understand." He stood up and laid the packet on her desk. Noticing a photo of a dead girl looking much like Emily had, he pointed to it. "Is that her?"

Dana looked over and nodded. Then she reached into her middle drawer and pulled out the three-by-five she had stashed away of Emily. "The only difference is the hair color. And the age."

Mulder looked at the two pictures. Dana was right, Emily's hair had been blonde and Katherine's was a very light strawberry blonde. "Are you sure you're going to be ok?"

Dana took the photo back and laid it beside Katherine's. "I'll be fine Mulder."

He picked up a pen and a post-it note, jotted down an address and handed it to her. "That's where I'm staying if you need me. I'll also keep my cell on."

Dana nodded.

* * *

Agent Scully sat on the couch across from Mrs. Crenshaw, ignoring the incessant pounding in her head. "I know I've given you a lot of information to digest. But, if I were in your shoes I would want to know if she was really my daughter."

"You don't have any children do you Agent?"

Dana looked down at her hands neatly folded in her lap. "It's a complicated story, but I had a daughter once."

"Then you should understand, it doesn't matter if Katherine has my DNA or not. I carried her for nine months. I stayed up with her when she couldn't sleep. When she was sick, I nursed her back to health. She's my daughter no matter what the DNA says."

Dana nodded. "I would just think that part of you would want to know for sure. I'm not saying it would make a difference, but I would want to know."

"That's you Agent Scully. I've just lost my daughter. And no matter what, she was my daughter. That's all that matters to me."

"I understand." Dana stood up and smoothed out her skirt with the palm of her hand. She thanked Mrs. Crenshaw for her time and apologized for the inconvenience, before heading back to the precinct.

* * *

"Come in." Dana looked up from her desk at the light tapping on her closed door. The door opened slowly to reveal Olivia. "The DNA results are back already?"

"No." Olivia looked over her shoulder. "Mrs. Crenshaw is here to see you."

Dana moved the large envelope Mulder had given her over top of the two pictures laying on her desk and asked Olivia to send her in.  
"How can I help you, Mrs. Crenshaw?" Dana asked as the other woman took a seat.

"It's Debra, and I've thought about what you said earlier today." She nervously twisted her hands in her lap. "I do want to know if I am Katherine's biological mother or if I was just a means to her birth."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive." Debra answered as Agent Scully reached into her attaché case to pull out a sterile swab.

"I just need to get a sample from the inside of your cheek and we should have the results back by tomorrow."


	3. Finding Katherine

A/N: Special thanks agentpiperh thanks for pointing out the alcohol mix up. I originally had her drinking Grey Goose, but changed it and didn't fix the type.

* * *

Finding Katherine

Dana opened the door to her apartment and Olivia stood there with a bag of Chinese take out. "I thought you might be hungry."

"Come on in." Dana stepped aside allowing Olivia entrance. She closed the door and secured the locks before following her into the living room.

Olivia stood at the edge of the couch looking at the work Dana had spread over the coffee table. She wasn't sure why Dana was still working so hard on the case. Mr. Crenshaw was in custody after his DNA came back a match to the semen found in Katherine. But there was the evidence that she was still deeply submerged in the case. There were several DNA reports scattered over a photo of Katherine and another little girl who Olivia knew to be Emily. Dana's laptop was sitting off to the side and her copy of the autopsy report was up on the screen.

"Did you get the results back on Mrs. Crenshaw's DNA?" Olivia asked sitting the bag down on an end table.

"Yeah." Dana answered quietly, as she started pushing the papers, films, and photos into a small pile. "She's not."

Olivia nodded. "Do you have anything to drink? I didn't think to pick up anything."

"Yeah. Caffeine free Coke, root beer, orange juice, water, diet coke?" Dana was already heading for the kitchen.

"Why do you have diet coke? Do you know what the chemicals in those diet drinks can do to you? Not to mention the fact they actually increase your appetite."

"Thanks for the lesson in soft drinks. So pick your poison."

"Um, since you put it that way, I'll take water."

"Water it is." Dana grabbed two bottles of spring water from the fridge and returned to the living room.

"Whose report is that?" Olivia pointed to the PCR film lying off to the side.

Dana picked it up and shoved it into the envelope Mulder had delivered earlier. "It's not important."

"Sweet and sour chicken?" Olivia asked as Dana twisted the top to her water bottle cracking open the seal.

"I'm really not hungry Olivia, but help yourself."

Olivia frowned as Dana sat down on the couch. "And you've eaten today?"

Dana picked up a pile of papers and shuffled them on her lap. "We know that Katherine's father repeatedly raped her, but we still haven't proven he killed her."

Olivia noticed the evasive maneuver, but decided to play along. "We've got motive. Besides you said the blunt force trauma could have been from a headboard."

"CSU didn't find any evidence of blood on any head boards in the house today." Dana looked down at the two pictures on the table.

Olivia sat down be side her pulling out a container of fried rice. She shoved a spoonful in her mouth, as she realized the same song that she heard when she first walked in was still playing. She took the lull in conversation to listen to the barely audible lyrics. She wasn't familiar with the song, and didn't know who the band was. Only that it wasn't Dana's normal genre.

_ She's been here so many times before,_

_ She can't remember_

_When she last felt anything at all_

_But this fear and anger_

_She stares intently at the door_

_Listens for his footsteps_

_She knows exactly what's in store_

_And knowing makes it worse_

_Floating high above her bed_

_Staring at her father's head_

_Wishing one of them were dead_

_So this hell could finally end_

_When he calls her daddy's little girl_

_She doesn't hear him_

_And when he's crushes her_

_She can't feel _

_Her screams are silent_

_Hides in the corners of her mind_

_She plays contently_

_She leaves this nightmare far behind_

_She's safe inside her dreams_

_Floating high above her bed_

_Staring at her father's head_

_Wishing one of them were dead_

_So this hell could finally end_

Olivia listened as the chorus repeated its self over and over and over again. Then the song began again, and she realized Dana had it set on repeat. The music it self was barely loud enough to be noticeable, which was probably why it took so long for Olivia to catch on to the fact it was repeating. "What are you listening to?"

Dana jumped at the sound of Olivia's voice. She hadn't forgotten Olivia was there, but she had been caught up in her own thoughts. Fleeting images mixed with distant lyrics. She reached for the control to the stereo and flipped it off. "It's nothing. Something my Godson sent me. Some band he likes, Stabbing Westward."

"It didn't sound like your normal choice of music." Olivia observed this time aloud.

"It's not, I got it a few days ago and it just happened to still be in the CD changer."

That may have been the case, Olivia reasoned, but she had still put the song on repeat. The song it's self hadn't been all that hard, and there was something to the beat. But the lyrics haunted her, and she was sure they weren't helping Dana deal with the current case. If anything, they were just driving the reality of it home.

The phone rang interrupting both of their thoughts. Dana reached over and snatched the cordless off the coffee table. "Scully."

"Hey Scully, I didn't wake you did I?"

"Yeah, I'm always asleep by ten o'clock on a work night." She replied, and then feeling her tongue had been a bit too sharp she added; "No, Mulder, you didn't."

"Good." He smiled to himself. "Can I come over?"

"No." She scoffed.

"You've got company?"

"Olivia brought dinner over."

"A working dinner or personal?"

Dana looked at Olivia for a minute. "Did you call for a reason, or just to play twenty questions?"

"I was wondering if she was yours?"

She turned away from Olivia before answering softly. "It matched, but it doesn't matter."

"What do you mean it doesn't matter?"

"Just what I said, it doesn't matter. It's done. It's over. There isn't anything I can do about it."

"But Scully, she was a part of you."

"No, Mulder. She wasn't."

He could hear the slightest fluctuation in tone, telling him she was holding herself together despite what she felt. Despite what she believed. He didn't know whether to push the subject or not. "Olivia doesn't know?"

"What's there to know Mulder? Like I said, it doesn't matter."

"Scully, listen to me." He paused giving her a minute to give him her full attention. "Look I know I screwed up on us."

"There isn't an us Mulder."

"Would you be quiet and listen to me? And there is an us, we are friends right?"

"Yes Mulder, we're friends." She sighed. "What's your point?"

"If I learned anything from our years together, it's that you can't hide things. I don't care if you and Olivia are lovers or best friends, you can't keep things from her. It'll never work out if you do."

"Is there anything else?"

"Think about it Scully, and if you need me…"

"I have your number. Goodnight Mulder." Dana pushed the disconnect button and dropped the phone on to the empty cushion between her and Olivia. "Mulder, trying to play big brother."

Olivia nodded. "It's getting late, you should get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

"Olivia?" Dana called out tentatively as Olivia put her hand on the doorknob to leave.

"Yes?" Olivia looked back.

"Never mind." She gave a half smile. "I'll see you in the morning."

* * *

The following afternoon Dana walked out to the bullpen just in time to see Olivia and Elliot escorting a blood covered Debra Crenshaw into interrogation one. She followed Alex and Captain Cragen into the observation room.

"Why did you do it?" Elliot leaned forward with his hands on the table between them, his face mere inches from Debra's.

"I didn't do anything. I was trying to save him."

"You were trying to save him with a knife in your hand?" Olivia lunged forward slightly. "Half the school saw you kill your son."

"I want to talk to Agent Scully."

Olivia nodded to Elliot who went out in search of Dana. It didn't take him long to find her. "She's all yours."

Dana walked in, and shook her head when Olivia started to leave. "Do you want your lawyer present?"

"What good is a lawyer going to do me?" Debra mumbled.

Dana looked at Olivia who gave a slight nod of her head. "What happened?"

"I," Debra looked down at the old worn table. "I was so upset after happened. I couldn't believe I had killed my daughter. I knew Richard was sleeping with her."

Dana's stomach lurched at the statement, but she kept her face void of emotion.

"But I didn't blame him. It was her fault. Her beautiful strawberry blonde hair, those seductive blue eyes. She wanted him, and of course being a male he couldn't resist that kind of temptation.

"About a week after I found out he was sleeping with her, I just lost it. She was begging for something. I don't even remember what it was now. I was outside by the shed, and I picked up a piece of plywood. Before I even knew what was happening she was lying on the ground. I had killed her. You can't imagine how upset I was. Thinking 'how could I do that to my own flesh and blood?'

"I was thinking about taking my own life yesterday, before you came to talk to me." She looked up at Agent Scully. "I just couldn't live with myself if I could kill my own flesh and blood. Then I thought; if she isn't my flesh and blood it doesn't matter. She seduced my husband, and by all rights she deserved to die. So my only saving grace was your phone call this morning, telling me I wasn't Katherine's true biological mother."

"That doesn't explain why you killed your son, Mrs. Crenshaw?" Dana moved a chair closer to the table and sat down.

"He called an hour after you did, and told me his dad wasn't going to rot in jail for what I did. He said he had seen the whole thing from the kitchen window, and he was going to the cops this afternoon. I couldn't let that happen."

"But he was your flesh and blood. He carries both DNA markers from you and your husband."

"I couldn't go to jail." Mrs. Crenshaw bit back in her defense. "I knew I didn't kill my daughter."

Agent Scully stood up with such speed the chair she was sitting in toppled over. "You did kill your daughter. You said yourself, it didn't matter if she had your DNA or not."

Agent Scully leaned in so close her nose almost touched Mrs. Crenshaw's. "She was an innocent child. Your innocent child. You carried her in your womb for nine months. You raised her, and then for no reason at all you killed her. You killed your daughter!"

Agent Scully felt Olivia's hand on her shoulder and she pulled back shrugging her hand away at the same time. "I'm fine."

"I've got it from here, Agent Scully." Alex stood in the doorway.

"Make sure she's put on suicide watch." Dana looked at Olivia. "I don't want her getting off that easy."

"Dana, go home." It was Cragen's voice that met her as she stepped out of the interrogation room.

"I'm fine Captain." She waved a light hand over her shoulder.

"It's not up for discussion. Go home."

"Yes sir." She let out a defeated sigh.

* * *

Olivia had been relentlessly knocking on Dana's door for the past twenty minutes in between calling her home number and leaving various messages. "Dana it's me. Open the door."

"Dana I know you're home. Pick up the phone."

Finally she dialed a different number and waited for the person on the other end to answer. "Alex, it's Liv."

"Hey Liv, what up?"

"Would you consider it an emergency if someone didn't answer the phone, or come to the door after twenty minutes of obnoxious pounding?"

"Dana?"

"Yeah."

"When's the last time you heard from her?"

"Two days ago, when she walked out of the interrogation room. Captain Cragen sent her home. She called in yesterday, which according to Agent Mulder, never happens. And we were both off today."

"She actually called in, or she just didn't show up for work?"

"Cragen said she called."

"I don't know Liv, she did tell you for emergencies only. Then again, I think this would constituent." Alex paused. "Call me when you find her."

"I will." Olivia disconnected the call and let herself into the apartment. "Dana?"

She immediately knew something wasn't right.

_Floating high above her bed_

_Staring at her father's head_

_Wishing one of them were dead_

_So this hell could finally end_

The same song from the other night was playing, this time loud enough it couldn't be ignored. The kitchen light was on, as was her laptop, which was sitting on the coffee table. Olivia made her way to the bedroom calling out her name. The room was empty, the bed perfectly made. Olivia frowned to herself as she picked up the phone and dialed star sixty-nine. She jotted down the number the automated voice gave her, then pulled out her cell phone and placed a call. After giving her badge number, she was able to get a time and address on the last incoming call. It had come no more than ten minutes before Olivia had arrived at the apartment complex.

She didn't give it a second thought. Locking the door behind her, she went in search of the caller's location.

* * *

Dana stood about three feet away from Lauren. It had been four weeks ago when Dana first met the nineteen-year-old blonde college student. She was a beautiful girl, who had been thinking about a career in medicine. Her future was looking bright, until a few hours before she met Agent Scully and Detective Stabler in Mercy General's ER. She had been brutally raped, and with it her self-confidence and future as she knew it was torn from her grasp.

What Dana had done that night, had at first shocked Elliot, and then he realized just how much she and Olivia were alike. Dana had pulled her business card out, and jotted her home number down. She hadn't heard from Lauren again until tonight, when she called in hysterics. Dana rushed to her side to be of any support she could be. Now she stood there not believing what had become of someone who was once so strong. She was so intent on talking to Lauren, she didn't hear Olivia come in through the open front door.

Olivia saw their reflection in the mirror and stopped. She could see Lauren with a desert eagle in her hand, the barrel of the handgun resting against her temple. Dana's voice was reassuring. "Lauren, it's not worth it. I know you're having a hard time right now, but this isn't the way to deal with it."

"I just want it to end." Lauren cried out. "Why did this have to happen to me?"

"I don't know. But it's not your fault. Lauren you didn't ask for this, it just happened. Put the gun down Lauren, and we can talk about it."

"I am tired of talking. Talking doesn't fix anything."

"Lauren?" Dana's heart thudded to a stop as she saw Lauren's finger tighten on the trigger. "Lauren, hand me the gun. You don't have to –"

Her last word was cut off by a deafening shot that echoed off the walls of the bedroom. "Damn it!"

From just outside the room Dana could hear Olivia on the phone requesting a squad car and EMS.

"Cancel the bus Liv. It's too late. We're going to need a ME." Dana didn't say another word until the squad car arrived. She remorsefully gave her statement and headed home on foot.

Olivia was able to catch up to her, and not really knowing what to say she fell into step beside Dana. There was a cold breeze blowing, but neither seemed to notice. When they reached Dana's apartment complex, she turned to Olivia. With a simple statement, she shut Olivia out of her world. "I need to be alone."

Olivia nodded. "You know where to reach me."

* * *

When Olivia arrived at work the next morning, Dana's office door was closed. She could see the sliver of light seeping out from underneath, indicating the agent had beat her to work. Elliot saw her gaze immediately upon entering. "What's up?"

"Nothing." Olivia shook her head lightly, trying to clear the images from the night before. The ones that had haunted what little sleep they had allowed.

"You sure?"

Olivia nodded, as Elliot settled into his seat. It wasn't long before Cragen came out of his office and headed over to her desk. "Olivia, you need to see one of the NYPD shrinks after what you witnessed last night."

"I know the procedure Cap, but I really didn't see anything last night."

"And that's why you slept like sleeping beauty." He replied flippantly. "You saw, and you'll see."

Olivia nodded. She wasn't going to argue, even if she knew it rarely did any good to talk to anyone about it.

"How's Dana doing this morning?" Cragen looked toward her door.

"I haven't seen her since I walked home with her last night." Olivia shrugged.

As if on cue her door opened, and she stepped out wearing a pair of charcoal gray pants, a moss green silk shell and a gray tailored jacket. It didn't do much to hide the combined fatigue of several nights without sleep. She was on her way to the morgue, and didn't even notice the trio in the bullpen until Cragen spoke. "How are you this morning, Dana?"

"I'm fine, Sir."

"You do know after last night, you need to talk with on of New York's finest shrinks, right?"

"I just finished seeing one last week." She groaned her complaint. Whining was something she normally only did around Mulder. When your partner calls you at one in the morning to chase little gray men, whining seems like the appropriate thing to do.

"I realize that," Cragen looked at his hands. "But suicides and hostage situations, not to mention seeing a co-worker killed in such situation, is an automatic ticket. If you don't want to see Liz again I would suggest Emil or our very own George."

Dana nodded. "Fine, I've got work to do in the morgue."

"You're not…" Olivia's voice trailed off under her glare.

"Munch and Fin just sent a body over. Warner is just now getting to last night's case. She could use the help."

* * *

Dana sat in Liz's office. She figured why not stick with what you know. They had already begun to build a kind of rapport, even if Dana wasn't sure if she liked or even trusted the woman. Still, it was better than talking to someone right there in the office, even if she did have to go across town. As luck would have it, she had a cancellation that afternoon.

"Are you eating?" Liz asked after Dana finished telling her about the night before.

Dana thought for a minute, wondering where that had come from. "What's that got to do with watching an innocent victim blow her brains out?"

"It's just a question." Liz shot back innocently enough.

"Yeah, I'm eating." She looked at her hands, and wondered why Mulder hadn't called to tell her he was heading back to DC. "Where did that come from?"

"It's just a standard question." Liz shifted in her leather chair.

"So standard that in the four weeks I talked to you about Abbie's death, it never once came up?"

Liz shrugged. "You are looking more worn out and maybe a little thinner then when I last saw you."

It had only been a week since she had last seen Liz. Although her clothes did seem a little looser, it wasn't like they were hanging on her. It wasn't even noticeable. Besides she was eating, wasn't she?

"Are you sleeping?" Liz could see Dana wasn't going to comment on looking thinner.

Dana sighed. "A little. An hour here, twenty minutes there."

"What's keeping you up?"

"Work. Autopsies all hours of the night, playing catch up with reports, what have you."

"Warner's still the main SVU ME right?"

"She is, but she's covering several different units and gets overwhelmed."

"And you stick with SVU cases?"

"Strictly."

"I understand you type up your own reports. Couldn't you let transcription pick up some of your case load?"

"Transcription is backed up, the detectives need the reports as soon as humanly possible. Besides, I don't trust anyone with my work."

"Ah, that's the real issue."

"What?" Dana leaned forward in her seat, not liking where this conversation was headed. Maybe eating was a better topic after all.

"Trust, you don't trust people."

"I trust some people."

"So I've heard." Liz mumbled.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You obviously don't trust George, or even me for that matter."

"I don't follow."

"After your rape, you went back to DC to see a former colleague to help you deal with your feelings."

"First of all, I wasn't raped. Secondly, Karen helped me through a very tough time in my life."

"Your cancer?"

"Yes."

"So she's the only person who could help you deal with your rape."

"Dr. Olivet, I was not raped."

Liz didn't have to hear the tone change twice. If she was going to get anywhere with Dana, this obviously wasn't the road to walk down. "What about co-workers, do you trust them?"

Dana nodded, preoccupied with other thoughts, mainly how to make a quick break.

"Friends?"

"Outside of work, I have little time for a social life. I have however made some close friends through the job."

"Alex and Olivia?"

Another silent nod.

"When's the last time the three of you got together for something besides work? Or grieving Abbie's death?"

"I don't know." But she did know. It had been the night they had played truth or dare. It had also been the only night the three, or at the time four, of them hadn't talked about work, or weren't celebrating some case or another. Dana looked at her watch. If Liz hadn't gotten the clue when she had called her doctor, she got it now.

"Dana, do you have somewhere you need to be?"

"I told Cragen I'd only be out of the office about an hour, and it took me twenty minutes to get here."

"I'm sure he would understand."

"I'm sure he would. The work piling up on my desk on the other hand, may not be as forgiving."

"I'd like to see you the same time tomorrow. We didn't get a chance to talk about how last night affected you."

"I'll see what I can do." Dana said a polite goodbye and quickly departed.

* * *

The following week Dana was deep in the middle of typing up her latest report when there was a firm knock at her door. "Come in."

"I just got off the phone with Liz." Cragen turned to face her after closing the door behind him.

Dana nodded, choosing at that moment to forego the cursory offering of a chair. Maybe if she didn't offer him a seat, he wouldn't stay.  
"She says you've been avoiding her since you saw her last week."

"I've been busy." Truth was she had been taking every opportunity to avoid just about everyone. Top on the list had of course been Dr. Olivet.

"Well, she's free in an hour and I've commandeered Olivia to take you to lunch and then to see Liz."

"I'm in the middle of something here, sir." Dana protested.

"And whatever it is can wait."

"So now I've got to have an escort?"

"Humor me." Cragen smiled. "You've been working entirely too hard, and since you won't take any time off…"

"A forced lunch with a colleague and appointment with a shrink seem entirely in order."

"Liz said you wouldn't come willingly."

"Sir, I don't need to see Dr. Olivet. I'm dealing just fine."

"Working a minimum of sixteen hours in the office, not to mention the work you are taking home with you isn't dealing with whatever is going on. But, when Dr. Olivet says your fine I'll agree. I'm not the only one worried about you here."

"Captain, I'm fine."

"Lunch Dana, Olivia's waiting."

"Yes sir." She sighed. She hadn't talked to Olivia in the past week either, unless it had been work related. She was staying at the office as late as she could, and the last few nights that hadn't been as late as she wanted. Cragen had stayed in town to take care of some things, before heading home he'd stopped back by the precinct and quite literally kicked her out. On those nights she went home and sat in front of her laptop in a darkened apartment, let her answering machine take any calls, and worked until she could get a shower and head back in. The lack of sleep was starting to wear on her, and she really didn't know what she was going to do with her upcoming day off.

"Do you have plans for tomorrow?" Olivia asked for the second time, while Dana picked at her salad. She had eaten two bites, if she had eaten anything.

"Um, yeah… work."

"You're off tomorrow." Olivia dropped her fork on her plate.

"I'm off tomorrow?" She looked at her watch. Was it Thursday already?

"Yes, you're off." Olivia sighed. No time like the present. "Dana, is there something going on between us I don't know about?"

"No, why?"

"I'm just getting the distinct feeling that you're avoiding me."

"No, I've just been really busy."

"Really busy with the work you are making for yourself." Olivia pointed out. "Warner says she has seen more of you in the last week then she's seen of her husband in the last month. And we all know you could send your reports to transcription."

"Have you ever sent a report to transcription?"

"I don't have that luxury."

"Be glad, they type like a bunch of kindergarteners." Dana forced a half smile. Unfortunately Olivia could sense it was forced. "Think we could skip out on Liz?"

"Are you kidding? Dad would have my hide." Olivia looked at her watch. "Come on, let's get out of here."

* * *

"Dana you made it, I wasn't sure you would." Liz greeted.

"It's not like you gave me much choice." Dana glanced at Olivia.

"Olivia, it's good to see you again. How are you?" Liz ignored Dana's cutting comment.

"I'm not doing too bad Liz. How about yourself?"

"Doing pretty good." Liz turned toward her office and told Dana to go in and have a seat. Then she turned back to Olivia and quietly asked. "Did she eat lunch?"

Olivia shook her head and rolled her eyes lightly.

"Thanks, I'll try not to keep her too long." Liz left Olivia in the waiting room and joined Dana in her office. "So how have you been Dana?"

"Great." Another attempt at a forced smile crept onto her lips.

"Really? Captain Cragen tells me you are pulling some pretty hefty hours at the precinct."

"Yeah, I'm sure he's glad I'm salary and he only foots half the bill."

"Only half?" Liz asked not following.

"Yep, I'm still on the Government's payroll. Which means they can pull me back on any case at any time."

"I see. Speaking of cases, what are you currently working on?"

"Personally, I'm just tying up some lose ends on a couple cases. Helping out Warner where I can."

Liz nodded, and settled back in her chair. "How are you sleeping?"

"Fine when I find the time."

"I don't need to tell you that you're putting yourself in danger of collapse from mere physical exhaustion, do I?"

"Of course not. But I do know the limits of my own body." Dana absently pushed at an errant strand of hair.

"Of course you do." Liz shook her head in disbelief. "And I'm the pope."

"I didn't even know you were Catholic." Dana shot back.

"I'm not. Eating?"

"You know, I thought we were going to talk about the suicide I witnessed."

"I treat the whole problem Dana, and I don't think that's the whole problem."

"And just what do you think the whole problem is, doctor?"

"I don't know, I was hoping you would help me with that."

"I would, if I just knew what you wanted to hear."

"Telling me what I want to hear isn't going to help you."

"Sure it is, it'll get you off my back so I can go about my life. I told you, I can deal with this on my own."

"And I have to stick with my prior observation, you aren't dealing with it at all Agent Scully."

"No more Mrs. Nice Doctor?"

"No." Liz huffed. "I understand you are off tomorrow, I suggest you do what ever it is you need to do to 'deal with this' on your own. You've got until Monday, and then you'll report back here at precisely nine am. If you are not here at nine am, other measures will have to be taken."

"And what happens when I show up here Monday morning?" Dana couldn't believe the change in Liz's attitude towards her. But she supposed if the tables were turned, she would probably be making the same demands.

"I will re-evaluate you and we'll just have to wait and see."

"Fine, is that all?" Dana pushed herself out of her seat.

"No." Liz paused. "I'm not the enemy here, I'm trying to help you."

"Well, you sure as hell could have fooled me." Dana retreated to the waiting room, and Olivia jumped to her feet. "Don't bother, I'll take a cab."

"Dana?" Olivia looked at Liz who stood in the doorway of her office. "What's going on?"

"I think I just pushed her a little too hard." Liz stopped her before she could go. "Let her go Olivia, I need to talk to you."

* * *

She wanted to run away to Washington, to hide. She called Mulder first and he refused to pick her up from the airport. He told her she couldn't run from her demons forever, and if she truly cared about Olivia, she needed to trust her. Next she called her mom's only to get the answering machine and find out upon checking her own messages Maggie had gone to visit Dana's brother Charlie for a week. So she looked for Liz's number. Since it was after hours she got the answering service, and instead of hanging up as she was tempted to do, she left her information. With in thirty minutes her phone rang. "Scully."

"Always on duty?" Liz responded to the formal greeting, if it could be called a greeting.

"Comes with the job."

"What can I do for you Dana?"

"I can't sleep. And I can't remember when I last slept, really slept."

"You want to talk about it now?" Liz's voice held compassion and understanding Dana hadn't expected. Especially not after the way she had been treating her.

"Not particularly at the moment. I was wondering if you could call in a script for three sleeping pills."

"Why three?"

"Well, you obviously think I have a problem. And three will get me through till I see you Monday."

"I don't think you're insane, or suicidal Dana. I just think you're hurting and you need to talk about it, deal with it. Getting a few good night's sleep might help. You sure you don't want four?"

"Cragen has given me a three day weekend, and I need a clear mind to work on Monday."

"What'd you have in mind?"

"It's your call, but preferably something I won't have to worry about dreaming while taking."

"I'm afraid there isn't a pill that will guarantee that Dana. I'll call in Restoril for you. I'll give you enough that you can take two if one isn't doing the trick."

"Thanks Liz."

"I'm just hoping some sleep will improve your disposition a little."

Dana sighed into the phone. "About that…"

"Don't worry Dana, it's natural. I don't take your avoidance of me personally. I'll see you Monday."

Dana said goodbye and hung up. She waited an hour before going to the pharmacy around the corner to pick up the medication. She decided she wasn't going to take any chances, and would take two to begin with. Right now it seemed like the easiest escape. She would face life and Olivia later.

Olivia pounded on the door, and waited. It was only seven-thirty. And there was no movement on the other side of the door. She decided she was going in, she didn't care what Dana wanted. Pulling her keys from her pocket she let herself into the darkened apartment. Much to her relief Dana was sound asleep in her bed. She sat there for several hours just watching her sleep. Even with the medication in her system, her sleep was fitful. Olivia watched her toss and turn until she could barely keep her own eyes open.

She thought about crashing on the couch, but suddenly something grabbed the pit of her stomach and twisted. The last time she had talked to Dana was lunch. She got the distinct feeling the other woman wanted nothing to do with her when she left Liz's office. Even though she could tell herself it had to do with Liz pushing her too hard, she couldn't make herself believe it. All of a sudden she felt out of place, unwanted, and alone.

She found a piece of paper and pen scattered among Dana's notes and reports on the coffee table, and carefully scribbled out a note. Quiet, and almost remorsefully she removed the coveted key from her key chain. If Dana didn't want her in her life, there was no reason to keep the key. She put the note next to the coffee pot in the kitchen and placed the key on top of it before going home to crawl in her cold and empty bed.

Sometime in the night Olivia's phone sprang to life. "Benson."

"Hey Liv, I didn't mean to wake you."

"What's up Alex?" Olivia sat up, pushing the last vestiges of sleep from her mind.

"I couldn't sleep, and I figured Dana was in the same boat but she didn't answer her phone. So I thought I'd call you. I'm really not sure, but I just had a funny feeling when she didn't pick up."

"I checked in on her earlier tonight and she was sleeping. Something, I am sure she is in need of."

"You don't sound so good yourself, Olivia?"

"I'm fine, I'm just tired."

"No Hun, I've talked to the tired Olivia before. That's not tired. What's up?"

"Nothing."

"Dana?"

"It's nothing Alex."

"Ok, it's obvious you don't want to talk about it." Alex sighed. "You know she's just going through a lot right now?"

"I know." Olivia ran a hand through her hair leaving it standing on end. "But she doesn't have to shut me out."

"Oh and you just tell her everything?"

"I'm not the one shutting the world out Alex."

"Sorry." She'd hit a nerve and she knew it. "I shouldn't have woken you. Maybe we can get together when I get off work tomorrow?"

"Call me, and we'll see."

"I guess that's better then a flat out no." Alex threw out before she said her cursory goodbyes.

* * *

Dana wasn't sure what time it was she'd first woken up, only that it was light outside and her bladder was screaming for release. She found it mildly amusing, since she knew she was as dehydrated as a leaf shed the previous fall.

Her upper lip felt wet, and she wiped at it absently with the back of her sleeve not bothering to check it out. She emptied her bladder, washed her hands. Without ever turning on a light she stumbled back into the bedroom. Sleep had never clearly fled her mind, and she was out again before her head could hit the pillow.

When she awoke again it was dark, and she wondered if she could have slept that long. Checking the red digital read out on her RCA alarm clock she was assured she had slept that long. It was nine pm, and she was wide awake. For the first time in weeks her stomach growled. Sparing her eyes from the harsh light, she avoided the bedside lamp and made her way to the kitchen from memory.

She felt weak on top of everything else, and pondered the possibility she'd pushed her body past its limit. Staggering to the refrigerator, she fell to the floor and crawled the last few feet. The doctor in her berated herself for not taking better care of her body.

She pulled on the door, wondering when they added a vacuum to the inside of her refrigerator. A quiet whoosh, sounded when she finally swung the door open. Barren, she couldn't contain the dry laugh that escaped her throat. How ironic, just like her, barren. Well, not quiet as barren as she was. There was some left over Chinese. She pulled out one of the containers hopeful it would contain something dated after the extinction of dinosaurs.

"Ugh." She hadn't seen that much mold since a middle school science project gone wrong. Or maybe it was when her bunny had died in her lunch box? It was too hard to remember which it was and she tossed the container toward the sink. Artfully missing her target, the box bounced off the side of the cabinet, scattering its contents all over the floor. "That'll be fun to clean up."

She eyed the contents of the door. Butter, light mayonnaise, ketchup, and mustard. Maybe she would fair better from something in one of the cabinets. Surely she had some peanut butter, crackers, something?

Reaching up to the counter top she tried to pull herself to her feet. Her first attempt failed, and she lay on the floor feeling her heart hammer the inside of her rib cage. When it finally slowed, she tried again, this time pulling a piece of paper down with her. She heard something metallic hit the floor, and in the dim light of the refrigerator she recognized it as the key she'd given Olivia. "Great!"

She looked at the note she'd inadvertently crumbled as her hip hit the linoleum for the second time that night. She smoothed it out, and turned it to the soft illumination.

Dana,

Stopped by to check on you.

Thought you might want this back.

Olivia

* * *

It was after eleven when Olivia and Alex walked into her apartment. In the dark she could she the green message light blinking. She flipped the light on, as Alex closed the front door and slipped the dead bolt. Tossing her keys absently on the coffee table, she walked over to the phone stand and pressed play.

"You have one message." The computerized female type voice announced. "Nine-fifty-two."

"You would have to be the last person I called from this phone." Dana's voice sounded different, but Olivia couldn't quite put her finger on it. "If I had wanted my key back, I would have asked for it."

The statement was followed by the phone clattering, and then a few seconds of silence. When Dana's voice came back over the line it was distant. "Damn it! I should have used my one call to call someone who was actually at home."

There was another pause, followed by Dana coaxing herself out loud. "You can do it."

This was followed by the clanging of silverware, a thud, and; "Shit! I give up."

It all would have been really amusing if Olivia and Alex thought she was drunk. Since in all likelihood she was sober, neither one of them laughed. Instead Olivia tried calling only to get a busy signal.

"It's busy." Olivia gave Alex a worried look.

"Then what are we waiting for?"

Olivia cursed herself for not keeping Dana's key. It took an additional half hour to get one of the residents to finally take her seriously about being a cop, and buzz her into the building. Picking Dana's lock took her a record of ninety seconds.

"Dana?" Olivia called out as she stepped into the darkened apartment.

Alex made her way to the kitchen while Olivia checked out the living room. "She's in here Liv!"

Olivia ran into the kitchen to find Dana laying on the floor along with green fuzzy fried rice, a drawer and a scattered array of silverware. In another setting it would have been hilarious. At the moment her only concern was for Dana, who Alex was leaning over talking to. "Are you ok?"

Dana nodded shielding her eyes from the blinding light Alex had flipped on. "What are you doing here?"

"I was at Olivia's when she got your message."

"You're bleeding." Olivia knelt beside her.

Dana shrugged as Olivia tried to figure out where the blood on her sleeve had come from. Dana slowly pulled her hands from her face. More accurately she had been bleeding.

"Your nose." Olivia sighed seeing the caked trail of dried blood.

"It's nothing. Probably hit it with a flying spoon, or something." Dana's hands started trembling. "I've got bigger problems. Alex I need you to go in my office, and… Actually if you could just help me to my office, and bring some sugar."

"Sugar?" Alex looked at Olivia who nodded, before pulling Dana to her unsteady feet.

"Remind me not to take Restoril again." Dana mumbled, although she knew it wasn't causing her symptoms.

"What?" Olivia asked as she and Alex helped her down the hall to her office.

"Sleeping pills Liz called in for me." Dana pointed weakly to the chair.

Once she was settled she put a spoonful of sugar in her mouth and made a face. "It needs coffee."

"Want me to make some?" Alex offered.

"No, but if you could see what I've got in the way of edible food in the kitchen I'd be grateful."

"No problem." Alex returned to the kitchen as Dana asked Olivia to hand her a box from the closet.

"You don't happen to know how to start an IV?" She looked at Olivia hopeful while pointing to a bag of five percent dextrose and normal saline.

"No." By this time Olivia was catching on to the fact that the majority of Dana's problems were related to not eating, or not eating properly. She watched her prepare her supplies, before speaking again. "Dana…"

"Think you could tie this on?" Dana interrupted her, holding out the tourniquet.

"Sure." Olivia waited for her to pull up her sleeve. "You're going to start it yourself?"

"What choice do I have?"

"I could take you to the hospital."

"You could, but where would the fun be in that?" Dana grimaced as Olivia pulled the tourniquet tight.

"Dana…"

"I don't need any lectures right now Olivia." Dana wiped the back of her hand off with an alcohol prep.

"Ugh!" Alex gasped as she walked into the room to find Dana sticking a needle into the back of her hand.

"Sorry, Alex. I should have warned you."

"It's ok." Alex looked away. She'd hated needles since she was a little girl. It was beyond her how anyone could actually stick them self, let alone hit a vein. "I found a frozen dinner in the freezer, and heated it up for you."

"Thanks." Dana pulled the needle out. Her first attempt had failed, a combination of shaking from a low blood sugar and being beyond dehydrated.

She looked up at the boxed dinner, Salisbury steak. Whatever had possessed her to buy mystery meat was beyond her, but it would have to do. "Olivia can you hand me another needle."

Olivia nodded and pulled another needle from its package. She watched as Dana took another deep breath and threaded it almost effortlessly into another vein in the back of her arm. When Dana nodded Olivia removed the tourniquet and connected the IV tubing. "You can look now Alex."

Alex laughed nervously. "You really should have given me the heads up. Needles are not my thing."

"I could tell." Dana grinned, and accepted the dinner and a fork from her. "This was it huh?"

"You didn't even have any peanut butter." Alex shook her head. "Woman you need to go grocery shopping."

"I know." Dana took a bite of the slimy slab they were trying to pass off as meat. "Yuck."

"I'm sure I've got something better at my place." Olivia offered.

"No, I deserve this." Dana forced another bite down. "Besides we need to talk."

"Actually," Olivia looked at her watch. "I have to work tomorrow, or more accurately today."

Dana looked at Alex who excused her self. "So that's it?"

"No." Olivia drew out the word. "I really do have to work in the morning."

"Fine." Dana sat the TV dinner on her desk.

"You need to eat."

"We're not having this discussion. You need to go, so go."

"I didn't mean it that way." Olivia rubbed a frustrated hand across her forehead. "Dana?"

"What?" But before Olivia could answer, she felt the warm trickle of blood as it flowed over her lips. She wiped at it with her hand. "It's nothing Olivia. Go home."

"Let me at least help you get cleaned up."

"I can take care of myself."

"That's why Alex and I found you half conscious on your kitchen floor just over an hour ago?"

"I was more than half conscious." Dana used the sleeve of her nightshirt on her nose, as she pushed herself to her feet.

"Let me help you." Olivia pleaded.

"Why? So you can feel better about giving me my key back?"

"What did you want me to do?"

"I thought you had to work in the morning." It wasn't a question, and Dana grabbed her IV bag and headed for the bathroom.

When she walked into the living room Olivia was sitting on the couch with one of Dana's bed pillows on her lap. "Where's Alex?"

"She went to my house to see about finding some real food." Olivia held the pillow up for Dana to see. "If the bloody nose came from a 'flying spoon' then why is there blood on your pillow?"

Dana took the pillow from Olivia and looked at it. She shook her head in amazement. "Must have slept through that one."

"Must have." Olivia responded, although she could tell Dana was genuine in not having known about the nosebleed.

She watched Dana settle down on the chair sitting angled toward the couch, after hanging her IV bag from the closed entertainment center. She held Dana's key in her hands, having found it on the kitchen counter after Alex had cleaned up. "What are we going to do about this?"

"You have to work in the morning."

"No, I don't. Well, it's Saturday so I'm officially on call. But I couldn't sleep right now if I tried."

Dana looked at the key. "You don't have to be here you know."

"Do you not want me here?"

Dana shook her head in disagreement. "Why'd you give me the key back?"

"I felt like you didn't want me to have it."

"Why?"

"You haven't talked to me since we opened the Crenshaw case."

"I've talked to you."

"No, you haven't. Agent Scully has talked to me, and Dr. Scully has made an appearance or two. But you've kept Dana locked away so no one can touch her."

Dana grinned at Olivia's observation then she shrugged her shoulders. "Defense mechanism. Throwing up my walls is a habit."

Olivia was guilty of the same. "Look I know our relationship is still new to both of us. But whether it's just as friends or as more, you don't have to lock me out. I would never intentionally hurt you."

"It's not me I'm afraid of hurting." Dana shifted as a soft knock sounded from the front door.

"That's probably Alex." Olivia headed for the entryway.

* * *

Their conversation had ended when Alex came in with food. Dana had just finished her second bowl of Cheerios and was connecting a second bag of D5NS to her IV. When she finished she reached over to a pile of photos on the desk, and handed the photo of Emily to Alex.

"She's my daughter, or she was my daughter." Dana watched Alex examine the photo.

"I didn't know you had any children."

"It's a long and complicated story. I'll give you the thimble version." She glanced at Olivia who nodded her encouragement. She knew Dana needed to talk about it, and it might help her open up about what had been bothering her lately. "I had been assigned to the X-files just over a year, when I was abducted."

"Abducted?" Alex looked over at Olivia and then back to Dana.

"Yes, it's still up for debate exactly who or what abducted me. I was gone for two months, and my family gave up on finding me alive. That's about the time I mysteriously showed up in a hospital. Since that time I've had flashbacks of tests that were done over the period of my abduction, but I have no real memories of what happened. I also found out that as a result of the tests that were done I could never have children. Two years ago, this little girl shows up in my life through a series of strange events. She looked like my sister who was killed, because someone thought she was me. When I ran a comparison DNA I found out that she wasn't my sister's child, she was mine. Emily died of a rare disease not long after that."

"Mulder found my ova in a lab, and had it tested. We were told they weren't viable, and here we are almost seven years since my abduction, and I find out I…" Dana picked up the two matching PCR films and handed them to Olivia. "When I found about the Hientz clinic I asked Mulder to send my file up. I wasn't going to check it without knowing Mrs. Crenshaw wasn't her mother."

"And when you found out she wasn't," Olivia held the films overtop of each other and looked through them. "You found out you were."

"Yeah." Dana choked out through tears.

Olivia walked over and sat on the armrest wrapping her arms around Dana's shoulders. "I'm so sorry sweetie, I should have been more aware of your needs."

Dana shook her head. "You didn't know. I… I wanted to tell you, both of you. I just… I just didn't know how."

Alex laid the pictures back on the table. "Guess I should have hung both parents out to dry huh?"

"You prosecuted them with in the bounds of the law, Alex. I wouldn't have wanted less."

"But you do want more?"

"No, at least not for them. Some days I wish I could find whoever did this to me and blow their brains out. It's bad enough they stole any chances of motherhood away from me, but to bring children into the world to suffer the way Emily and Katherine have. It's appalling to me. What's worse is they are making a profit off it."

"You could give the case details to Mulder." Olivia offered.

"I'd have to go through Cragen, and I don't want anyone else knowing about this."

"Is that why you won't talk to Liz about it?" Olivia prodded.

"In part." Dana took a deep breath. "I really think I could have handled knowing about Katherine if Lauren's suicide hadn't fallen so close to my finding out. It was like the two things just triggered so many other things."  
"Other things?" Alex leaned forward resting her elbows on her thighs.

"Flash backs of my abduction, and more recently what Farley did to me."

* * *

"Dana?" Liz hated to interrupt her when she seemed to be finally opening up, but the blood trickling from her nose was in need of attention. Of course by the time she had finished her name, Dana already had her hand covering her nose.

"I'm fine, it's nothing." She stood up and excused herself.

That was a week ago, and Dana seemed to be genuinely better. At least from a mental health stand point. From what Liz had gathered talking to Olivia, and listening to Dana she was getting back into a normal routine. She was sleeping at night, eating at least two meals a day. The doctor had never been big on breakfast.

Her work had gone back to the role of work, and not something to hide inside. This didn't mean she wasn't still pulling long hours, but that had always been Dana's downfall. She was and always would be a workaholic. Liz smiled as Dana sat in her usual spot, today she was going to let her know the mandatory visits were over. Of course she could come talk to her anytime she needed too, they had actually formed a kind of bond.

Dana wouldn't go so far as to call Liz a friend, or even a confident. In fact most of her success in over coming her recent stressors was owed to Olivia and Alex. Three of them had been spending a lot of time together after hours, talking, playing cards and board games, going to dinner, or cooking at one another's apartment. Dana was really starting to like Alex, despite the fact she had at one point been ready to write the ADA off.

Liz asked Dana how her week was going, but before she could respond a single drop of blood fell from her nose. Dana looked down as it hit her shirt, followed by another, and yet another.

"This seems to be becoming a habit." Dana offered by way of excuse.

"Sorry about that." She returned ten minutes later having cleaned the majority of the blood off of her light gray blouse.

"No problem." Liz smiled lightly as Dana sat back down. "Do you think you should get it checked out?"

Dana shrugged. "The tests were negative back in February, I don't see that they would have changed."

"It doesn't worry you?"

"If I hadn't received a clean bill of health a few months back, it would worry me. But it's still quite possible this is coming from the trauma I sustained during my attack."

Liz nodded. "So how has this week gone?"

"It's actually been quiet at the precinct, if you can believe that."

"Guess all the criminals are enjoying the nice weather we've been having." Liz grinned.

"It's possible." Dana rubbed her index and middle fingers against her brow. This was the third headache she'd had in as many days. Maybe Liz was right, maybe she should have it looked into.

"Agent Scully?" Liz had called her several times by her first name without getting a response. This time her eyes rose to meet Liz's. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. I must have zoned out."

"You zoned out alright. You were silent for five minutes."

"Sorry." Dana blushed. It really couldn't have been that long. She grimaced as a lightening bolt split through her head. "Liz, I – uh."

Liz watched Dana push herself out of the chair as she spoke. She stood up, not sure what Dana was trying to say. Her mouth continued to move, but she wasn't making sense.

-_I need to go_.- Dana's brain was processing what she wanted to say, her mouth just wasn't cooperating. She needed to get somewhere cool. She was hot, burning up. A dark wave crashed over her body engulfing her.

Liz couldn't move fast enough around her desk. Dana's face paled drastically as her body collapsed, her head colliding with the corner of Liz's desk in it's downward trek. "Someone call 911."

The receptionist working the waiting room came in a few seconds later, a cordless phone pulled to her ear.

"We need an ambulance." Liz had two fingers pressed against Dana's carotid artery. There was a faint thready pulsation of blood flowing through the vessel. It was little reassurance.

Dana felt like she was floating, she knew this place well, and she had to get out. Her heart beat faster and she struggled to reach the surface. She managed to break through and with great effort she lifted her leaded eyelids. Liz was leaning over her with an almost frantic expression. "Olivia?"

"Dana, stay with me." Liz looked down at the barely conscious agent.

"Olivia." She managed to push out once more before the darkness pulled her back into its embrace.

"Olivia."

It was Cragen who stood beside her desk, and she didn't like his tone. She hadn't done anything wrong, at least not that she could remember. When she looked up, she felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. Even before he spoke, she knew something was wrong. "Liz just called, you're needed at Angel of Mercy."

"Dana?" Her voice was mouse like.

Cragen nodded. "Let Munch drive you."

"I'll be fine Captain."

"No, I don't want you driving yourself." His voice was firm. "Call me when you know what's going on."

"I will sir."


	4. Growth

Growth

Olivia sat at Dana's side, she had been moved to ICU an hour ago and Olivia was finally allowed to see her. She was unconscious, and aside from the information Liz gave her no one was able to tell her anything. Despite not knowing anything at the moment, she had called Margaret Scully and informed her of her daughter's situation. Dana's mother was booked on the next flight into JFK, and Alex was going to meet her there.

Olivia held onto Dana's hand and spoke to her softly. The darkness wasn't so bad when she could hear Olivia's voice, distant as it was. She knew she needed that anchor, that one voice to guide her safely back to shore. Until she heard it, she felt like she was all alone and in the worst kind of hell imaginable.

She followed the voice, and despite the pain in her head as she neared the surface, she pushed forward. She had to see her lover, her friend. "You're crying."

Olivia jumped at the voice. "You're awake."

Dana nodded. "How long was I out?"

Olivia looked at her watch. "Four, five hours?"

"Not too bad." Dana smiled.

"I need to get a nurse, a doctor. They wanted to know as soon as you came around."

"Ok." Dana reluctantly let go of Olivia's hand. She didn't want to, but at the moment she didn't have a choice.

When the door opened again it revealed a clean-cut doctor in his forties, dark almost black hair, with graying temples. He introduced himself as Dr. Muroski. "How are you feeling?"

"I've got one hell of a headache."

"I would imagine. You've got quite a goose egg on your head. Not to mention fourteen stitches."

"What'd I hit?"

"I was told it was a desk, and it looks better than you do." His attempt at a joke fell short, and Dana could tell he wasn't getting ready to give her good news. "Ms. Scully…"

"Let me guess, you did a series of radiographs and a CT scan which revealed a tumor?"

"You knew about the tumor?"

Dana shook her head. "I had a nasopharengeal tumor, it went away. It was miraculous really. That was over two years ago. As of this past February my PET scan was negative."

"What kinds of symptoms have you been having?" Dr. Muroski inquired.

"Headaches, and nose bleeds."

"How long?"

"Four weeks maybe a little more on the headaches. I blamed them on stress, working long hours. The nose bleeds, I've had for about three weeks."

"And you're sure your PET scan was negative in February."

Dana nodded. "I saw it myself."

"I'd like to get a copy of your old reports and send them to a friend of mine at Mt. Sinai, get her opinion. She's one of the best oncologists in the state."

"Do you have the CT films?"

"Not with me, but I have the report." Dr. Muroski held out the two-page report.

Dana scanned down the article and gasped as she noted the size of the current tumor. "That's impossible."

"What?"

"My last tumor was measured at 3.5 centimeters, this one is measure at 3.85. That's a ten percent growth." Dana looked up at him suddenly curious. "What's your specialty?"

"I'm an oncologist."

"Given this information, what's your prognosis?"

"I don't know." He stalled.

"Yes you do."

"I want you to see my friend at Mt. Sinai, she may have some treatment options I'm not aware of."

"You're prognosis without treatment." Dana persisted.

Dr. Muroski pulled up a chair and let out a heavy sigh as he sat down.

* * *

When Alex walked into Dana's room, she was crying. Alex's heart ached at the site. "Dana? Are you all right? Do you need me to get a nurse or something?"

"No." Dana sniffed. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Alex stepped up to the bed and put a reassuring hand on the smaller woman's shoulder.

Dana wiped at her wet cheeks, and nodded.

"Where's Olivia?"

"She went to the bathroom. She should be back any minute…"

"Hey Alex." Olivia stepped into the room. "When are you picking Maggie up?"

"I've got an hour before I need to head out." Alex looked at Dana with concern blazing in her sapphire eyes.

"I wish you wouldn't have called her."

"What choice did I have?" Olivia asked. "We didn't know when you were going to regain consciousness, or what was going on. We still don't know what's going on."

"You both need to sit down." Dana took a deep breath.

Olivia sat on the side of the bed and took Dana's hand in her own. "What's wrong?"

When Alex was seated on the edge of a vinyl-covered chair, Dana spoke softly. "No one else knows, and I want it to stay that way."

Of course this went without saying, but Dana had to reassure herself. "The tumor is back, and it's 10% bigger than when it originally presented it's self. As you both know, there isn't any thing that can be done. I'm having my reports from Washington and here sent to an oncologist at Mount Sinai. Dr. Muroski says she may have some treatment options, but it's really doubtful."

"How," Olivia squeezed Dana's hand. "How long?"

"Four to six months if I am lucky, a year at the most."

Neither Alex nor Olivia spoke for a span of time. Finally a knock at the door drew their attention. "Come in."

Elliot opened the door. "Who died?"

"No one." Dana grimaced; her head was starting to hurt again.

"You ok?" Olivia moved her free hand to Dana's shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"I'm going to go pick your mom up." Alex stood up. "I'll be back as soon as we can get here."

"I really appreciate this Alex."

"Don't mention it."

"Drive safe." Olivia threw over her shoulder.

"I'll walk out with you Alex. If you ladies need anything call me."

"Thanks Elliot."

"Anything for my girls." Elliot smiled before walking out with Alex.

* * *

"Dana?" Maggie rushed to her bedside, engulfing her daughter in her arms.

"Mom, I'm ok."

"You're not ok." Maggie pulled back. "You're in the hospital."

"It's nothing to worry about mom."

"The cancer's back, isn't it?" Maggie asked.

"I'm going to join Alex in the waiting room." Olivia excused herself.

"Mom." She drew the word out slightly.

"Don't you lie to me Dana, I'm your mother. I deserve to know."

Dana took a deep breath. "I'm going to be fine."

"You don't know that Dana."

"And you don't know that I won't be."

"I want you to come home."

Dana shook her head. "I'll probably be discharged tomorrow, and I am going back to work. There is a doctor at Mt. Sinai who has copies of my records. She is supposed to get back to me next week. She may have an unconventional treatment for this. Since we know there isn't anything else that will work, I will take her treatment options under advisement."

"You need to be at home Dana, you're sick."

"I need to live my life mom. I don't expect you to understand, but I can't just drop everything. I won't go out that way."

"You're as hard headed as your father, you know that don't you."

"Ahab wouldn't want me to give up."

"I know Dana." Maggie situated herself on the edge of Dana's bed, much as she had when Dana had been sick as a little girl. "How bad is it?"

"It's about ten percent bigger than it was when I went into remission."

"But I thought…" Maggie's voice trailed off.

"It was clear in February."

"How long?" Maggie swallowed hard against the lump in her throat.

"Four to six months. A year max."

Maggie nodded as the tears flooded her face.

"Alex, and Olivia are the only others who know. I don't want anyone worrying about me. I want to wait until I hear from the doctor at Mt. Sinai, before I tell anyone else. Even Bill and Charlie."

"They're your brothers, Dana."

"And they will know, when I know for sure what I am dealing with."

"And Mulder?"

"After I call Bill and Charlie."

"I'm staying with you."

"I can't let you do that. You can stay with me till I know something. I won't have you disrupt your life."

"You are my life Dana. My kids mean the most to me."

Dana's fingers wandered to the bridge of her nose, and she rubbed it trying to get the pain to recede.

"Dana?"

"I just need to rest mom. Alex can take you back to my place. I think it's clean."

"Are you kidding?" Maggie knew her daughter kept a pristine living environment.

"No, I'm not. You'll see."

"I'll see you in the morning?" Maggie kissed Dana's forehead gently before moving to the door. "Do you want me to send Olivia in?"

"She'll want to say goodnight." Dana nodded.

"Hey." Olivia walked in. "You told her?"

"I couldn't very well lie to her."

"No, and she needed to know."

"She wants me to quit, go home."

"And?"

"What do you want?" Dana patted the area of the bed her mother had recently vacated.

"I want," Olivia took up residence in the proffered space. "To wake up from this nightmare."

"Me too." Dana sighed, her fingers rubbing the thin bridge of her nose again.

"You need to rest, we can finish this conversation in the morning." Olivia patted Dana's thigh.

Dana put her other hand over Olivia's. "Maybe my mom is right. I don't want to put you through this Olivia. You shouldn't have to go through this."

"Dana, I want you to do whatever you feel is necessary. If that's moving back to DC, I'll support you in that decision. Plus I'll be able to work on my frequent flyer miles." She smiled before becoming serious again. "We are in this together, whether you stay here or not."

"Then I'm staying." Dana squeezed her hand.

"Sleep, now. You need it."

"Could you stay for a little bit?"

"Sure." Olivia wrapped her arms around her small trembling form.

"I'm so cold."

"Shhh. It's ok." Olivia whispered lying beside Dana in the bed. She didn't think it was going to be ok. She was so afraid of losing Dana. She finally found someone she thought she could be happy with, and she was being taken away from her. Olivia felt powerless to do anything.

Maggie didn't see anything wrong with her daughter's apartment, except for a full hamper. So when she couldn't sleep, she decided to wash Dana's clothes. She was surprised to find several pair of pants she knew were too long for her daughter's figure, as well as a pair of pajamas, that would have swallowed Dana.

Olivia and Dana had drifted off to sleep in each other's arms, and that's how Maggie Scully found them when she walked in the following morning. She knew now it wasn't just coincidence she'd found Olivia's clothes mixed in with her daughter's laundry. If she didn't think about her Catholic upbringing she could actually see how cute they were together. Of course Dana would cringe to hear her mother call her cute.

Dana started to stir, and if Maggie didn't know better she'd think her daughter had a sixth sense. "Hey mom."

Dana looked at Olivia who was still sleeping with her head on her shoulder. She tried to move her arm with out waking Olivia, but failed. Olivia moved her head with little protest. She looked out through the slits in her eyelids, and saw Maggie. Within seconds she was on her feet, and Dana was laughing.

"Olivia, why don't you go get some coffee? So I can talk to my daughter." Maggie was trying to hide her amusement.

"Actually," Olivia looked at her watch. "I need to get to the precinct. I'll stop by during lunch."

"Be careful Olivia."

"Always." Olivia smiled before heading home to shower and change before going into work.

"Mom, I know what you're going to say." Dana stopped her mom before she could speak.

"Just what am I going to say?"

"That I'm a good Catholic girl who should know better."

"No." Maggie shook her head. "I was just going to ask if you're happy."

"Despite the tumor in my head, yes. Olivia and I are very happy."

"Are you living together?"

"No." Dana shook her head.

"She had clothes in your hamper."

"You did my laundry?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"This is why I didn't want to tell you about the cancer."

* * *

Dana hung up the phone and rested her head on her desk. How was she going to tell her mom? Olivia? She didn't want to go through this again. She didn't want to see her family and friends grieve. She had done this before, and she didn't want to see a repeat performance.

She decided to start with Olivia, but she couldn't face the rest of the squad room. Instead of going out to talk to her, she dialed her extension.

"Benson."

"Liv, can you come to my office?"

"Sure, are you alright?" Olivia had never known Dana to call her into her office, not on the phone anyway.

"Just come in." Dana hung up the phone.

"What's up?" Olivia stood in the doorway.

"Close the door." Dana motioned for her to take a seat.

"You heard back from Mt. Sinai?" Olivia asked as she sat down.

"I did." Dana let out a deep breath, and shook her head. "There isn't anything that can done. Palliative treatment. She wasn't as optimistic with my prognosis as Dr. Muroski. She thinks I've got about three productive months left, if that. After which she thinks the tumor will begin exerting so much pressure against my brain that I will be lucky to remember my own name. She also thinks the pain will be very severe, and suggests before that time I look in to the different terminal care homes in the state."

"I will take off and take care of you."

"I can't ask you to do that."

"You're not asking, and I won't take no for an answer."

Dana nodded, if nothing else then to stop an argument before it ever started. "I want to wait a while before I tell Captain Cragen or anyone else in the unit."

"I think you should let them know, but I'll honor your decision."

"Thank you."

"I need to call Mulder, and I'll let Alex know tonight. I'm just going to tell mom nothing can be done. I'm not going to tell her I might not be here as long."

"Do you want me to stay while you call Mulder?"

"I think I'll be ok. Thanks Olivia."

"I'll be at my desk if you need me."

Dana nodded as Olivia let herself out of the office. Then she picked up her cell phone and dialed Mulder's number.

"Mulder."

"Mulder it's me."

"Scully are you alright?" His voice was thick with concern.

"No Mulder, I'm not."

He fell back into his chair, like a deflated balloon. "What's wrong?"

"The cancer is back."

"It can't be." His face paled, and his heart started to race.

"It is Mulder. And the tumor is bigger."

"There's been some mistake." Mulder uttered.

"I wish I could believe that Mulder, but I've seen the PET scans." The other end of the line was silent. "I just wanted you to know. Mom knows, and Olivia and Alex. I am going to give Bill and Charlie a call later. For now I don't want anyone else to know."

"What are going to do?"  
"There isn't anything that can be done. I'm going to continue to work, as if nothing has changed. When the time is right I'll let Cragen know."

"What can I do?"

"Nothing Mulder, I just thought you'd want to know."

"Tell me what to do Scully, I'll do anything."

"Mulder, you can't save me this time. It's over."

"You can't give up Scully."

"Mulder, I have to go." Dana hung the phone up.

* * *

Dana had been able to talk her mom into going back home, and by the end of the week life was back to normal. Well, normal aside from the looks Alex and Olivia would give her. No one else knew, Dana didn't even confide in Liz when she called to see how things were going.

Another week, and Dana was completely back into her normal routine. She was running and working out regularly. Her workdays varied just like they always did. Some days were eight to four or five. Other days started at two-thirty in the morning and would drag out into thirty-six hour days. Olivia hated those days, but Dana wasn't going to shirk her responsibilities. She wasn't going to let some tumor in her head get the better of her. Especially not one placed there by the shadow government.

Alex continued to hang out with Olivia and Dana on their days off, at their request. Despite Dana's attempts to not let them get any closer to her, each day their bond grew stronger. She knew it would be hard on them when her time came, because she was already mourning loosing them.

Mulder called at least every other day, and Maggie was calling everyday. Each time Dana would assure her mom nothing had changed, even though the headaches were getting progressively worse. Mulder would ramble on about how he didn't think CSM was really dead, and he was still looking for a cure.

Six weeks since she passed out in Liz's office to the day, she passed out in the shower. Olivia was standing at the sink brushing her teeth, when Dana fell out bringing the shower curtain and rod with her. She came too immediately. Suffering only bruises on her thigh and leg and refused to stay home from work.

The following Monday she was revisiting a crime scene, alone. Evidently so was the prime suspect. "Hand me your weapon."

Dana heard the male voice from behind her, and turned to see a large built man with no hair pointing his weapon in her direction. "Ok."

"Take it nice and easy, or I'll blow your brains out."

She reached around behind her and carefully slipped her glock out of its holster. She held it pointed to the ceiling.

"Put it on the table." He motioned with a jerk of his head.

After Dana placed her weapon on the table she noticed his safety was still on. Unfortunately he had already stepped forward and grabbed her gun. He was preoccupied with shoving it into the waistband of his jeans. Without giving it another thought, Dana tackled him. Forget that he was a good foot taller, and a hundred pounds heavier than her.

She had enough momentum to knock him off balance. She grabbed for her own weapon as his went flying out of his hand, and slid across the floor. He wrapped his left arm around her, bringing Dana down with him. Cursing loudly he slung her across the room, slamming her into the upper third of the wall. She held onto her gun for dear life, as the air was knocked out of her, her body falling to the ground.

By the time Dana got her bearings straight, her attacker had recovered his gun and was coming for her. She did the only logical thing she could do, and hoped like hell the safety was still flipped on his gun. She aimed and pulled the trigger blowing out his right knee. He fell to the floor, pulling the trigger on his own gun. The safety no longer on, it clicked several times.

Dana pulled the gun from his hands, and cuffed him while reading his rights. She then called for EMS and a unit. While waiting for them to arrive, she checked his clip. It was empty.

* * *

"Agent Scully! My office! Now!"

So much for sneaking back into the precinct, Dana glanced at Olivia who shook her head. She knew Cragen was pissed, and there was no avoiding it. "Yes sir?"

She jumped slightly as he slammed the door. "What the hell did you think you were doing going back to a crime scene without backup?"

"I was looking for evidence."

"Without back up!"

"It was a cold scene. How was I supposed to know our suspect would show up?"

"Because that's what perps do. They revisit the scene of the crime." He was pacing in front of her like a caged tiger. "Do you have a death wish?"

"Excuse me?"

"Last week you went into a situation where both you and Elliot knew the suspect was armed, and you decided to forego a vest. You aren't invincible Dana."

"I am very well aware of that fact, sir."

"I don't think you are. You are officially on desk duty until further notice. I will still allow you to do autopsies but crime scenes are out of the question."

"Yes, sir." Dana knew she didn't have a leg to stand on. Today's incident was no big deal, aside from her aching body. But not wearing a vest while with another SVU member put her team in jeopardy.

"Get out of here." Cragen shook his head.

"Dana?" Olivia asked as she walked by.

"I'm riding a desk until further notice." She shrugged. "Hail Mary."

"Maybe you should go to confession while you're at it." Elliot threw out.

"Just what the hell is that supposed to mean?" Dana spun in his direction.

"Well, since your so gung-ho about getting yourself killed. Maybe you should go to confession, before your wish does come true." Elliot hadn't seen the warning looks Olivia was shooting his way.

"For your information I was doing my job. I can't help it if you didn't want to come with me."

"I didn't say I wouldn't go. I said I didn't see the point." Elliot bit back.

"And that's why I got the collar and you didn't."

"And if his gun had been loaded, where the hell would you be now?"

Dana flinched as intense pain flooded her nose and the front of her head. It was so severe she involuntarily grabbed her nose and leaned forward, curling the upper part of her body into a loose ball. Olivia jumped up and was at her side in less than a second, her hands worrying over her.

Dana stood up, her right hand still pressing against the bridge of her nose. With her left have she pushed Olivia away. "Don't touch me."

As she started to walk away Olivia called after her. "Dana?"

"Leave me alone."

Olivia stared at Elliot, after Dana had closed her office door. "What?"

Olivia shook her head.

"I didn't do anything." Elliot responded to nothing in particular. "What's wrong with her anyway?"

"She hasn't been sleeping well lately, between work and some other things."

"No, I've seen Dana on no sleep. She doesn't act like this. She doesn't walk on the dangerous side. What's up?"

"Nothing."

"No, something's wrong. The three of you have been acting really strange since that incident in Liz's office. Dana's acting like she's made of Kevlar. You've suddenly become over protective of her. And Alex is, well she's nicer than she normally is when Dana's around."

"I told you it's nothing."

"I don't buy it."

"Ok, then I can't talk about it."

"Can't or won't?" Elliot asked.

"Can't. Now drop it." Olivia's evil glare kept him from uttering another word.

* * *

That evening Olivia walked into the apartment to the sounds of Dana retching in the bathroom. "Are you alright?"

"Do I sound alright?"

Olivia was glad she didn't answer with her standard 'I'm fine.' "No, you don't. What can I do for you?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes."

"Go home."

"What?" Olivia moved closer to the door in case she'd misunderstood.

"Go home."

"I'm not leaving you when you're this sick."

"I'm not sick." Dana leaned back against the cool tiles lining the wall.

"You're throwing up, and you're not sick?" Olivia asked skeptically.

"Can't throw up what's not there." Dana closed her eyes ignoring the blood that was dripping like a leaky faucet from her nose.

"I'm not leaving."

"Well you're not sleeping with me."

"Fine, I'll sleep on the couch."

"We're not talking about today."

"I think Cragen took care of that problem for now. I picked up some fresh fruit on the way home. Think you can eat anything tonight?"

"No."

"Have you taken anything for the nausea?"

"You know I can't take it when I'm on call."

"You're not on call."

"Actually Raebek's not feeling good, she asked me to take call. Her assistant ME will go to the scene if we get anything. She's second on call tonight, Warner's first so I probably won't get anything."

"Any bodies can wait till morning for whoever."

"I have to be alert if there are any questions."

"Are you coming out of there sometime tonight?"

"Maybe."

"If you aren't out in five minutes, I'm coming in."

Dana didn't respond. Her head was hurting too bad to respond. As promised five minutes later, Olivia was picking the bathroom lock with an ice pick. She opened the door to find Dana sitting against the wall, with blood streaking her upper lip. "Let me help you get cleaned up and in something more comfortable."

Dana inclined her head ever so slightly, knowing if she gave a full nod she would regret it. Olivia bent down to scoop her up in her arms. "You're only allowed to carry me if I am unconscious. This doesn't count."

"And I thought I was stubborn." Olivia ignored her protests, and picked the smaller woman up in one easy movement.

She carried her to the bedroom and laid her on the bed. She went to the bathroom and got a basin of warm water, a washcloth and a hand towel before returning to Dana's side. She cleaned the blood from her upper lip, and noticed it was still oozing a little. "Did you bring up any thing at all?"

"A little."

"A little what?" Olivia pulled a pair of pajamas out of the dresser.

"Stomach acid, maybe some old blood."

"Maybe?" Olivia helped Dana sit up and removed her silk shell. She was slowly watching Dana's body turn in to a skeleton with a few layers of skin. She didn't know how Dana continued to push so hard.

"It was just a little. A result of post nasal drip." Dana let her remove her bra and help her into the white tank top. "Olivia?"

"Yes." Olivia stopped pulling at Dana's slacks.

"It's only going to get worse from here."

"I know. Come on. Let's get these things off."

Dana stood up clinging to Olivia for support. "No pants. Just underwear."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Dana plopped back onto the bed and situated herself under the covers. "You know you don't have to do this."

"Yes I do." Olivia replied with passion. "I love you Dana, and I want to be here no matter what."

Dana nodded as the phone rang. "Will you get that?"

"Scully residence, Benson speaking."

"Hi Olivia, how's Dana?"

"She's right here Maggie, I'll let you talk to her." Olivia wasn't about to lie to Dana's mom. Something Maggie was keenly aware of.

"Hi mom."

"You don't sound too good Dana."

"Working long hours, that's all."

"Are you sure? Do you want me to come up?"

"I'm sure. And no, I'm fine really."

"I haven't believed that for weeks now."

"I thought you were going to Bill's and help Tara when she has surgery?"

"I've got a flight out tomorrow, but if you need me."

"Tara needs your help taking care of the kids." The line was silent for a minute. "Mom, I love you."

"I love you too Dana."

"I need to go."

"I'll call you from Bill's tomorrow night. Maybe you can talk to the kids."

"Sounds good. Have a great trip."

"Night sweetie."

"Love you." Dana said goodbye and handed the phone back to Olivia. "I need you to call Alex, ask her to come over. And if Mulder calls I'm sleeping."

Just over an hour later Alex arrived clad in jeans and a sweatshirt. "She's in the bedroom."

"You coming?" Alex asked.

"She wants to talk to you, I assume alone."

"Ok?" Alex gave her a puzzled look. She walked back to the bedroom only to return a minute later. "She wants to talk to both of us."

Olivia nodded and followed Alex back to the bedroom. Dana's pale form was so small sitting in the middle of the queen size bed. She was propped up on pillows and had a sheet over her bare legs. Olivia and Alex sat facing her, each flanking either side.

Dana opened her eyes when she felt them sit down. "I think I'm going to let the squad know tomorrow, but I wanted to talk to you two first. We all know I don't have much longer, at least not where I am going to be in control of all my facilities."

She shook her head stopping any protests. "It's true. And I know you don't need my permission, but I want both of you to be happy. So when this is all over I would be happy to know you two are together. Whether it works out or not, I think you should give it a chance. And I don't want either of you not pursuing your happiness because you feel some sort of commitment to me."

Olivia was in tears, as was Alex leaving Dana as the only one who could answer the phone. "Scully."

"Hey, how you feeling?"

"Mulder." Dana closed her eyes briefly. "I was hoping you would wait till tomorrow to call."

"What you don't want to talk to me?"

"No, actually now that you've called I should let you know."

"Let me know what?" The line was silent. "Scully?"

"Things are progressing faster than predicted. I really don't think I have much longer." She absently rubbed the bridge of her nose, not sure why because it didn't really help the pain.

"Did you have another scan done?"

"Last week."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I didn't want anyone worrying."

"How big?"

"It's almost doubled in size. My doctor says it's a miracle I am doing as well as I have been."

"Is that why you've been so reckless lately?"

"How'd you hear?" Dana glared at Olivia for a second.

"I talked to John this evening."

"What's up between you and Munch?" She grimaced but managed to keep her voice under control.

"We just decided to stay in touch. I'm bringing the gunmen up to meet him next weekend. Frohicke wants to see you."

"You told them?"  
"You never answered my question."

"And you're avoiding mine." Her face contorted in pain.

Olivia who had been watching her symptoms increase took the phone out of her hand. "Mulder, Dana needs to rest. You can talk to her tomorrow."

"Thanks for taking care of her Olivia."

"I wouldn't think of letting anyone else do it." Olivia hung up the phone, and turned back to Dana who was curled up in Alex's arms. "Why don't you take something for the pain?"

"Can't." She mumbled into Alex's shoulder.

"I told you earlier the bodies can wait." Olivia urged as the phone rang. "Benson."

"Is Dr. Scully there?"

"Yes she is, whose calling?"

"This is Adams, the ME assistant. Warner said Scully was second on call, but she didn't answer her page."

"That's because I turned her pager off." Olivia rolled her eyes. "You can't handle the scene on your own?"

"I just have a question for her. And Warner's up to her eyeballs in bodies."

"Olivia?" Dana held her hand out for the phone her head still resting limply on Alex. Olivia finally relented. "This is Dr. Scully."

"Hey, it's Adams. We've got an impalement on a cast iron fence."

"You need to leave the implement in place until Warner or I can do the autopsy. Call someone to cut the fencing." Dana handed the phone back to Olivia.

"He couldn't figure that one out on his own?" Olivia put the receiver back in its cradle.

"He's new Liv, give him a break." Dana muttered.

Olivia reached up and started rubbing her shoulders. "Do you want to lay down?"

"No." She didn't want to move out of Alex's arms. Something about the angle her head was resting, was actually relieving some of the pressure in her head. "Unless Alex wants me to move."

"No, but you can't possibly be comfortable like that." Alex ran her hand through Dana's red hair.

"Actually, this is the least amount of pain I've been in all week." Dana sighed as Olivia stopped rubbing her back. "You don't have to stop Liv."

"If I didn't know better I would think you were taking advantage of the situation." Olivia commented.

Alex could feel Dana smile against her neck as Olivia commenced rubbing her back. It didn't take long before they noticed her body relax and her breathing become more rhythmic as she drifted off to sleep. Olivia helped Alex move her down to the bed, and they retreated to the living room to talk.

"How are you holding up?"

"Fine, until she threw that on us tonight." Olivia shook her head. "Don't get me wrong Alex, I would do anything for you."

"I know. I don't want her to die either." Alex said softly, not allowing her self to cry.

They didn't know how long it'd been since they drifted off to sleep, but Olivia surmised it couldn't have been more than half an hour when an agonizing cry pulled them from the embrace of sleep. Olivia was the first one to respond, and Alex followed down the hall a few seconds later.

That was the only sleep the three of them would get for the night. Dana was in so much pain she couldn't sleep or even get comfortable. She told them to both go home, but neither Olivia nor Alex would leave her side.

At five thirty Olivia cut the alarm clock off. She was laying closest to the nightstand. "Where are you going?"

"To the bathroom." Dana replied, finally feeling like she would live through the day after all.

"I'll call Cragen." Olivia reached for the phone.

"You'll do no such thing." Dana stopped in the doorway.

"You're not possibly thinking about going to work are you?" Alex moaned.

"You are. Olivia is."

"Yes, but we weren't up in pain all night." Alex pointed out objectively.

"I'm feeling better."

Olivia looked at Alex. "The nights are the worst right now. Of course last night was the worst I've seen."

* * *

"Hey, its Kamikaze Dana." Munch greeted when Dana stepped out of her office at eight thirty.

She glared playfully at him as she crossed the bullpen to Cragen's office. "Captain, do you have a minute?"

"Come on in Agent Scully." Cragen offered her a seat as she shut the door. "I'm not taking you off your desk."

"I'm not here about that." Dana sat down carefully. Her entire body ached.

"What can I do for you?"

"I just wanted you to know I'm not going to be with SVU much longer." She held her hand up, knowing what he was going to say. "It has nothing to do with me riding a desk, sir. I will continue to work here as long as I can work, but I am not sure how much longer that will be."

Cragen nodded. "This has to do with…"

Dana watched him wave his hand in the air, gesturing towards her nose and head. "Yes. I've got an inoperable tumor growing inside my head at an alarming rate."

"Cancer?"

"Yes sir, a relapse actually."

"So you've made it through before."

"Under rather phenomenal events yes. Unfortunately it doesn't look like I'm going to be so blessed this time."

"How long?"

"There's really no way to know for sure. I would like to tell you I have at least another month or two that I will be able to work, but I don't think I'll even live that long."

"Is this…"

"No." She cut him off. "I was doing my job yesterday, sir. I admit it might be why I threw caution to the wind by not wearing a vest last week. But yesterday I really thought revisiting the crime scene would be routine."

"Is there anything I can do?" Cragen's voice was thick with concern.

"Actually several things, sir." She looked down at her hands folded neatly in her lap. "You can let me work as long as I can, and not feel sorry for me. We all have to die sometime. And you can watch over Olivia and Alex when I'm gone."

"I can do that." Cragen stood up and stepped around his desk. When Dana stood he wrapped her in a fatherly hug.

"I should let the guys know." Dana stated when he pulled away.

"Have a seat, I'll round everyone up." Cragen went to the door. "Munch, Fin, Benson, Stabler, meeting, my office now."

Dana's news came as a shock to everyone, and when they tried to offer her any type of support she told them not to feel sorry for her. She requested that they not treat her any differently. And when Elliot tried to apologize for being so insensitive the day before, she interrupted him and told him she deserved most of what he said. Finally Captain Cragen, noticing how much Dana was hating the attention she was getting, told them all get back to work.

* * *

"Dana?" Olivia stepped into Agent Scully's office when she hadn't answered the firm knock. She had her head resting on her desk, pillowed by her arm. Long tendrils of red splayed on the case file she had recently been reviewing. "Dana?"

"Go away." Dana mumbled not lifting her head.

Olivia took another step in and shut the door behind her. "You're crying."

"Agent Scully doesn't cry." Came the quick reply.

"No, but Dana does."

"I'm not crying." Dana spat out.

"If you're not crying, then look at me."

"Detective Benson, please leave." Dana lifted her head, and stared unyieldingly at Olivia.

"You're burning the candle at both ends Dana. You need to give it a rest, and get some sleep." Olivia could see through the tough façade.

The temptation to pull her gun, as she had done to Mulder in the past, tugged at the back of her mind. Instead she mumbled. "I'm fine, Olivia."

"You're not fine. If you keep pushing yourself like this, you're going to wind up in the hospital. Again."

"I'm a big girl, Olivia. I can take care of myself." Dana looked over her most recent autopsy photos. "Besides, don't you have anything better to do? Like work?"

"I'm on lunch."

"Then you should be eating."

"Not hungry." Olivia leaned up against the doorframe. Olivia refused to believe that she could be grouchy from lack of sleep, although that was what she was chalking Dana's mood up to.

"And you're trying to tell me how to take care of myself detective?" Dana gave one of her half smiles.

"And when's the last time you ate?" Olivia repositioned herself, as the phone began ringing.

"My eating habits are not up for discussion." Dana pulled the receiver to her ear. "Scully."

Olivia's eyes wandered from Dana's fatigued face, down to her smooth porcelain neck. She was wearing a cotton button down; the top two buttons were open forming a V. Olivia smiled to herself, imagining the shirt was forming the perfect little arrow of skin saying "Look Here."

"I'll be right down." Dana stood up as she placed the receiver back in its cradle.

"Need any help?" Olivia watched her smooth the wrinkles out of her knee-length black skirt.

"Not unless you want to play Sioux chef in the morgue?" Dana stepped around her desk.

"I think I'll pass. Dana?" Olivia grabbed her arm as she tried to walk past. "Promise me you'll go home after you get done there?"

"Warner needs me." She looked down at Olivia's near death grip on her arm.

Olivia loosened her grip with a defeated sigh.

"If it will make you feel better?"

"It would."

"Ok."

"I'll see you when I get home, and you'll call me when you're done?"

"I will."

* * *

Warner had a new protégé in the morgue. The kid was fresh out of med school, and hoping to sign on with New York's coroners' team. Ryan Richards was working part time under Warner's supervision and part time at Mercy General's ER. He'd been there about a month, and Warner had let him start this autopsy on his own, while she finished up another body for homicide. A third body came in, and that's when she called Agent Scully. She asked her to just stand in and be of assistance to Ryan. Despite her own backlog of work, she couldn't really refuse. At least this way she wouldn't be stuck typing up the report.

She had worked with Ryan several times over the last month and he was a really nice guy. Not to mention smart, and talented. Married for just over two years, his wife was expecting their first baby any day now. "Good afternoon Dr. Scully."

"Ryan, how many times do I have to tell you its Dana?"

"Sorry, old habits die hard."

"So what have we got?"

"This one was turned over to SVU within the hour. ME on the scene suspected sexual assault. Funny thing is, aside from caked blood around the nares; there is absolutely nothing on visual examination to suggest cause of death."

"No needle punctures?" Dana picked up the forms dropped off by the ME stating the condition and positioning of the body on site, as well as the area surrounding the body.

"No, none."

"Where did you check?"

"The usual places." Ryan ran a hand through his short blonde hair. "When I didn't find anything, I checked the not so usual places. Between toes and fingers, under the tongue."

Dana nodded. She was impressed. "Are you ready to make the Y incision?"

"I am." Ryan pulled on his mask, and donned his protective eyewear before picking up the scalpel.

Everything was routine, until he applied pressure with the bone saw to open the rib cage. A puff of yellow smoke came out of the victim's mouth and nose. Ryan stopped the saw as he was overcome by a coughing fit. He tore off his mask to assist in his breathing. "What the hell was that?"

"I'm not sure." Dana kept her own mask on, despite the fact any visual debris were gone. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." He reassured her seconds before sneezing several times.

"You sure?"

He nodded, trying to read the perplexed look of her eyes. Had he been able to see her entire face, he never would have suspected anything was amiss.

* * *

Dana had been gone two hours when Olivia's desk phone rang. "Benson."

"Olivia, it's Dana." She took a deep breath. Just remember to breathe. She pulled off her mask and eyewear before continuing. "I'm down in the morgue, I need you to get a Hazmat team to secure the site of the last victim. A James Riley. His body was found at the corner…"

"I've got the file right here." Olivia picked up on the urgency in her voice.

"Tell them it's some type of biological contaminant. I'll contact the CDC. And I need the names and phone numbers of anyone who came into contact with his body."

"What's going on?"

"Don't let anyone come down to the morgue. It's off limits, until I can get a Hazmat team in to secure the area. Warner is clearing the building."

"Dana…"

"I've got to go, Liv. Richards is having difficulty breathing."

"Dana?" It was too late the phone was already dead. "Shit!"

"What?" Cragen asked as he watched Olivia flipping through her Rolodex.

"Dana says we've got some kind of Biological contaminant on the body of our latest vic."

* * *

Dana tended to the steady ooze coming from Ryan's nose. It really wasn't enough blood to be worried about, and his breathing seemed to be getting better. Dana ran a hand through her hair. Ryan closed his eyes briefly. He had been lying on an empty autopsy table for the last two hours. Dana had moved him there after he passed out, not long after she hung up with Olivia. Time seemed to stand still. Dana checked her watch. The Hazmat team was still moving around outside, and someone tapped on the observation window.

"Dr. Scully?"

Dana walked over to the window to see a young man dress in a biohazard suit. "I am Dr. Scully."

"We just got word from the CDC, they should be here with in the hour."

"Thank you." She nodded and turned back to Ryan. "How are you feeling Dr. Richards?"

"Better actually. I'm beginning to think all this is just a fluke."

"We'll let the CDC decide that." Dana smiled. "We'd rather be safe than sorry."

"Yeah I guess so." He started to sit up, but Dana put her hand on his shoulder holding him down. "Just relax."

For the next hour they talked about Ryan's wife, and all the preparations he was making for the baby. He was running a fever but when she last checked it wasn't too elevated. A voice came over the two way intercom located by the observation window, drawing Dana's attention. "Dana Scully? Is that you?"

"Brynn?" Dana looked through the window. "I thought they were sending CDC?"

"They did."

"You transferred?" Dana went to med school with Brynn Abernathy. When they graduated she went to work for the U.S. Army Medical Research Institute of Infectious Diseases, while Dana joined the FBI. They still kept in touch through email, but Dana hadn't written her since Christmas.

"Not exactly, I am working on a project with the CDC through USARMIIRD. I was the closest response person. When did you transfer?"

"I came up to lecture in January and never went back."

"A man?"

Dana shook her head. "You'd be surprised. So what do you have for me?"

"Were you both wearing masks during the autopsy?" "Standard 3 micron surgical masks. I wasn't near the body when it happened, and Dr. Richards ripped his mask off almost immediately with complaints of difficulty breathing."

"I've got the report you gave Atlanta." Brynn looked over her notes.

"You know what it is?"

"I wish we did Dana. Right now we don't. But we've found two others who knew the victim, and they are both dead. We believe it may have something to do with a plant found in the apartment. But we can't be certain."

"Doc- tor Sc- cul-ly…" Ryan called out from the examine table she had moved him too.

"Ryan?" Dana turned to see him struggling to breathe.

"Dana." Brynn called to her. She turned to look at Dr. Abernathy for a second. "If he arrests, that's it. You can't try to save him."

"What do you mean?" Dana stepped back up to the window so she was closer to the intercom.

"You cannot perform CPR. If you haven't already been infected, that would ensure it."

"I won't let him die." She turned back to Ryan feeling Brynn's eyes on her back.

Dana could see the sweat forming on his forehead, and when she reached out his skin was so hot she recoiled as if she had been burnt. "Think I can check your temperature?"  
Ryan nodded as she held the thermometer up. She put it under his tongue and went to work on sponging off his forehead. When three minutes had passed she pulled the thermometer out and frowned. "I'll be right back Ryan."

"Do-n't – le - ave - me."

"I'm not leaving the room." Dana reassured him. He had obviously forgotten they were quarantined. She wrote four numbers on a piece of paper and held them against the observation window.

Brynn read the numbers in awe that Ryan was still conscious. His temperature was 105.4, and most adults couldn't handle temperatures to that degree.

Ryan was mumbling something when Dana returned to his side. "What?"

"Tell – Ali – son - I - lo – ve - her, - and - I – I'm - so – r – ry." It was difficult for him to talk between the chills and difficulty breathing.

"You can tell her yourself. I'm not going to let you die." But before she had finished, Ryan had faded.

Dana's fingers found his carotid pulse. She looked up at Brynn keeping her fingers planted there. "Weak and thready. Resps are shallow."

"Dana?" Brynn tried to get her attention.

"Hang in there Ryan, we'll have you home in time to see that baby of yours born." She ignored Brynn and started looking for anything that would be helpful. She ripped the door to the first aid cabinet open, and pulled out a CPR mask. It was dry rotted and would do little good, but at least it was a barrier.

"It's not going to help Dana." Brynn warned from the other side of the glass.

"I'm not giving up. Where the hell's a crash cart when you need one?" She pulled open several drawers searching for the supplies and medications she would need. Of course the mask was dry rotted and there was no epinephrine in sight. This was a morgue, not an ER. It was the last place anyone, especially Dana Scully, would ever think of having to save a life. She returned to Ryan and felt for a pulse. "Damn it."

"Do not attempt CPR." For a woman of five-two, Brynn could sound pretty authoritative when she needed to.

Of course Dana wasn't intimidated by the strongest of mastermind killers, so Brynn's orders fell on deaf ears. Dana placed the heel of her right hand over Ryan's sternum, her left hand over it, and started compressions.

"Agent Scully!"

"We don't know I haven't been contaminated."

"We don't know that you have!" Brynn yelled back, trying to get her point across. "Let him go!"

"I can't." Scully continued compressions.

"I know you don't always play by the book Agent Scully, but you are currently playing Russian roulette with a loaded gun."

"I don't care." Dana attempted to breathe through the mask, but it was too far-gone. She tossed it aside and placed her mouth over his. When she pulled back to inhale for the second breath, a cloud of yellow escaped from his lungs. She ignored the stinging in her nose, mouth and throat and gave him a second breath.

"Damn it Dana, are you trying to sign your own death certificate?"

"The cancer's back Brynn." She continued the compressions. "It's inoperable, and I am going to die regardless. If I can save a life in the process…"

Brynn watched wordlessly as Dana gave him two breaths and went back to the chest compressions. She turned her side of the intercom off and placed a call on her cell.

Fifteen minutes later she turned to see Dana still working on the lifeless form. She flipped the intercom back on. "My team should be here in an hour, we're transporting you to level four containment at USARMIID. Dana, it's been twenty minutes you need to call it."

"I'm not calling it."

"Even if you could get him back now, how much brain damage will he have suffered?"

She was right, and Dana was so weak she knew she was barely able to do the compressions properly anymore. She looked up and realized the computer-recording device was still running from earlier. It was a voice-activated system. She checked one last time for a pulse. "Code called at 1411 hrs, time of death 1411."

Dana screamed sounding like a mix between a runaway train and an injured mountain lion. In her rage she picked up the stainless steel tray by the table and flung it across the room, sending surgical instruments flying. The tray hit the furthest wall before clattering to the floor. It was better than pulling her service weapon and blowing her brains out. Which is exactly what she felt like doing.

She curled up in a ball on the floor, realizing in addition to looking like a fool in front of Brynn she had also launched a new wave of pain inside her head. Up until the moment it seemed to have dissipated.

"Dana?" Brynn called to her several times, but she couldn't hear her over the roaring of pain in her head.

As the pain continued to escalate she started rocking back and forth. Not that it was doing any good at relieving her agony, but it gave her something to concentrate on. Brynn had given up on trying to talk to her and now waited patiently for her team to arrive.

She didn't have to wait long, and she quickly suited up into a new suit equipped with it's own battery operated HEPA-filtered respirator. While she was changing she had her nurse draw up 2mg of Haloperidol into a syringe. She instructed the four medics on the team to wait out side with the Vickers aircraft transport isolator, known as the VATI for short, until she gave them the go ahead. The VATI was a containment box for transporting quarantine patients. The last time Brynn remembered using one, she was running an evacuation mission in Uganda. A small set of troops had stumbled into a small Ebola infected village. None of the exposed troops survived. It was a nightmare.

"Dana," Brynn spoke through the intercom system for the last time. "If you can hear me, Major Daniels and I are coming in. I want you to stay where you are. We are going to give you a shot of Haldol for the ride."

"I haven't lost it." Dana mumbled when she felt Brynn's hand on her shoulder. She was removing Dana's gun and holster from her waist. "I don't need Haldol."

"It's just a precaution Dana. I can't have you going ballistic on me and my crew and putting them in danger." Brynn pushed Dana's lab coat aside and pulled her waistband down so she could get to the injection site. After cleaning the area with alcohol she uncapped the needle. "You're going feel a little prick."

Brynn pushed the needle in before she finished the warning. Dana didn't even flinch instead she stayed curled up in a ball for another minute. "I think my head's going to explode."

The last word slurred as the Haloperidol started to work. Dana's body relaxed and Dr. Abernathy was able to get her crew in to load her on the VATI.


	5. USAMRIID

USAMRIID

When they arrived at USAMRIID on Fort Detrick, Maryland, Brynn had another team suited up and ready to go. They took several x-rays and with the data collected by the other teams still back in New York working, they were able to determine that the agent was most likely a hybrid mushroom. It was amazing, really, the rate of growth the fungi took on. The mycologist they had on staff had never seen anything remotely similar.

"There is a method to growing shitake mushrooms, called the Everbloom method. Using this method the mushrooms are full grown and ready to be harvested in six to eight weeks from inoculation. The rate this fungus is growing is phenomenal. From the information we gathered regarding Dr. Richards' death, I would speculate the rate of growth is six to eight hours."

Brynn listened to the mycologist ramble on while she studied Dana's chest and nasal films. There was already considerable growth in her lungs and nasal passages. She also couldn't help but notice the eight-centimeter mass in the naso-pharengeal area. "I need her prepped for a Bronchoscopy stat."

"What treatment regimen are you planning?" One of her colleagues Dr. Tate asked.

"Right now, I'm going in there and doing a bronchial wash. See if I can't clear out most of it, at least open her airways back up." Brynn frowned. "Then I'm going to give a loading dose of 70mg of Caspofungin intravenously, followed by 50mg IV daily."

"Do you really think Cancidas is going to cut it?"

"I don't have a choice." Brynn sighed. "I'll do chest x-rays every three hours and hope we don't have to go in and do a lavage that often."

"Could we try putting the Cancidas solution in the wash?" Dr. Tate wondered aloud. "It's sterile, so you wouldn't be running the risk of infection."

"No, but I'm concerned we could have other complications if we tried."

"No offense, but you've taken bigger risks in the past."

"I've got a personal interest in this case Dr. Tate." Brynn turned to the room before connecting her hose to her suit.

"What kind of interest?" He checked to make sure her connection was secure.

"Dr. Scully and I were in med school together, same study groups. Then we managed to get residency together. And a few years ago I was out on a mission, and our paths crossed. Unfortunately I wasn't paying attention, and a shifty scientist pulled my service weapon out, and threatened to blow my brains out. She saved my life, more than once. So I owe her."

"In other words you aren't willing to try an experiment that may safe her life if there's any possibility you could kill her?"

"I've got a bronchial lavage to do." Dr. Abernathy stepped into the room where Dana and her team were waiting.

* * *

"Benson." Olivia pulled her cell phone to her ear. It was just after seven and they had transported Dana a good three to four hours earlier. Olivia was still at her desk with Alex occupying Elliot's chair. Captain Cragen was in his office while Munch, Fin and Elliot played a game of cards to pass the time.

"Detective Benson, this is Dr. Brynn Abernathy with the US Army. I'm the responding member of USAMRIID, and I wanted to let you know that we are doing all we can for Agent Scully. You're Captain transferred me to you, stating you would be the best to help answer any questions regarding her current health status."

"Yes."

"Good. We gave her a sedative for the helicopter flight and she is still pretty out of it."

"She hasn't slept more than a few hours a night for the past week."

"Do you have the name of the doctor who has been treating her tumor?"

"Dr. Muroski at Angels of Mercy has been following her progress. As far as treatment, it has been palliative at best."

"I see."

"Listen Dr. Abernathy, we are aware that the cancer is untreatable, and last week Dana signed an advanced directive stating she does not want any heroic measures taken. Nor does she want any type of life sustaining treatment, this includes but is not limited to feeding tubes and ventilators."

"That's all really nice to know Detective." Brynn replied tersely. "But I really don't care what Dana did last week, I'm not going to let her die on me."

"That's good, because it saves me from having to override her DNR order."

"You're listed as her next of kin?"

"Right next to her mother, who is out of town."

"Well, as soon as I have any other news for you, I will call."

* * *

When Dana came around, she wasn't sure where she was or how she got there. In her still drugged state, she wasn't sure why people in space suits surrounded her. Her first instinct was to scream out, much has she had done during her abduction. If it hadn't been for Brynn's familiar face behind one of the shields, she would have been convinced they had taken her again.

"How are you feeling Dana?"

"Where…" She licked her dry lips and swallowed wondering why her throat burned. Her voice was horse and rough. "Where am I?"

"Level 4 isolation at USAMRIID."

"Maryland?"

"Yes."

"How long have I been out?" She was barely able to speak.

"Eighteen hours. Why don't you let me ask the questions, and you nod yes or no? Ok?" Brynn smiled through the mask.

Dana nodded.

"Good. Do you remember what happened back in the morgue?"

After seeing Brynn's face, her drugged brain was able to process the majority of the events leading up to the severe pain in her head. Everything after that was a blur. She nodded slowly.

"Ok, well… after you tried to sign your own death warrant, and called the code, you lost it."

Dana rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, you threw some stuff and you curled up in a ball on the floor. I wasn't sure you wouldn't go ballistic in the VATI, so I gave you 2mg of Haloperidol."

"Haldol." Dana whispered and shook her head. "Pain, not crazy."

"Yeah, after seeing the size of the tumor in your head I figured that may have been the case. But I couldn't take any chances." Dana nodded understanding as she continued. "We are pretty sure we have isolated the culprit. Our staff mycologist has identified a fast growing fungus in your lungs that corresponds with the other bodies. I know you're wondering why you feel like an industrial sized vacuum has attacked you. We've had to go in under bronchcospy and clean your lungs out. The fungus is growing at a rate of six to eight hours. We've had to go in three times since you've arrived, and I'm not sure your lungs will handle any more."

"Have you…" The last word wouldn't come out at all and Dana made a face.

"Give me a minute?" Brynn asked.

Dana nodded before Dr. Abernathy turned to the intercom system. "I need a dry erase board, marker, and the next dose of Caspofungin."

"It's too early." The nurse pointed out.

"Which one of us went to medical school?"

"You did. Sorry ma'am."

"It's ok private. I realize the risk I am taking."

The dry erase board was delivered before the medication was, since the nurse had to go down to the pharmacy and wait for them to mix it up. Brynn handed the dry erase board to Dana who wrote the single word: Flagyl?

"No. We are using Caspofungin, its brand name is Cancidas." She watched Dana's puzzled expression. "It's a new broad spectrum anti fungal, similar to Flagyl."

:Use it in lavage.:

"I've already discussed it with some colleagues. I'm afraid to try it."

:Don't be. I'm dying.:

"You're not going to die on me."

:Can't save me from tumor:

"Let's deal with things one at a time, ok?"

:Do lavage:

"No. It's too risky."

:YES!:

"We have no way of knowing how much of the drug will cross the barrier into your blood stream, and we don't know what an overdose will do."

:Don't care:

"I do."

:Do it:

"Dana?" Brynn's voice held that same warning tone of a mother daring her child to back talk again.

:Don't argue w/ me. I win: Dana erased the board when she knew Brynn had read her message. :How many more x can u go in?:

"One if we're lucky." She sighed.

:U have no choice: She wiped the board clean again and pointed to herself. :Guinea pig:

"Fine, you win. What's your sedative of choice?"

:Lidocaine:

"You're not watching."

:Like Hell: She watched Brynn's eyes knowing what she was thinking. :No drugs. Watch like hawk:

"And what if I do?"

:Kick ur ass: She was tiring from the exertion of writing and wiping the board off. :U know I can:

"I'm going to get my staff to prep the room." Brynn turned but heard Dana tapping on the board. "What?"

:Call Benson?:

"I talked to her earlier, and I will call again after we try your hair brained idea."

:DNR: Dana pointed to herself.

"Not while you're under my care."

:U knew?:

Dr. Abernathy shrugged her shoulders. "Is this detective a friend?"

:More:

Brynn smiled. "I see. You really didn't leave DC for a man."

:U sleep?:

"No. When you are in the clear, I'll sleep. Now are we going to do this before I change my mind?"

Dana nodded.

* * *

Dana was a trooper through the procedure, despite the voice screaming in the back of her head that she was going to die from drowning instead of cancer. Dr. Abernathy repeatedly asked her through out the procedure if she wanted Versed. Dana was adamant about staying alert for the procedure. It was the first time she'd ever seen what was the equivalent of a puffball in someone's lungs.

When they were done they returned Dana to her room and Brynn stayed at her side. "We'll do another chest x-ray in two to three hours depending on how clear your lungs sound."

Dana nodded, closing her eyes in discomfort.

"Do you need something for pain?"

Dana shook her head and reached for the board. :Call Olivia:

"Detective Benson?"

Dana nodded, a severe coughing fit racking her body.

"When I know you're ok."

:I'm fine: She handed the board to Brynn and pushed against the bridge of her nose. The pain was increasing.

"You're head?" Brynn put a hand on Dana's shoulder.

She nodded.

"Morphine?"

Dana shook her head.

"If you are worried it will suppress your cough, I'll keep you suctioned. You need to rest."

Dana sighed and relented. Within minutes after Dr. Abernathy put the medication into her IV she was out. Brynn took the opportunity to update Olivia on her condition.

"Benson."

"Detective Benson, it's Dr. Abernathy. Do you ever go home?"

"I wanted to be here to get any updates on Dana."

"Well, you can go home and get some rest. We tried an experimental treatment at Dana's request. It'll be several hours before we know if it was helpful. She's currently sleeping with the help of some morphine. If you'll give me your home number I can call you if there is any change." Brynn wrote down the information, and then added on her own. "Dana asked me to tell you she loves you."

"Thanks." Olivia blushed lightly. "Tell her I love her, and that Alex and I are keeping her in our thoughts."

"I'll pass it on."

When Dr. Abernathy returned to Dana's side she noticed a sheen of sweat adorning her forehead. Unable to rouse her, she turned her on her side to get a rectal temp. After getting a reading of 105.0 she yelled for cooling blankets and Tylenol suppositories. She was beginning to wonder which had been the true cause of death in the other cases, respiratory distress and eventual failure, or hyperthermia?

Thirty minutes later Dana woke up shaking. Forgetting how much her body had been through especially her throat she tried to talk. Even with morphine still coursing through her veins it felt like someone had taken a power sander and shoved it back there at full speed.

"What a way to wake you up, huh Dana?" Brynn looked at her apologetically.

Dana nodded.

"You spiked a temp, sorry about the internal monitor."

The small wire snaking out off her rectum was the least of Dana's worries. She knew she wouldn't be able to write on the board and decided to try and dust off her knowledge of American Sign Language, and hoped Brynn remembered hers. Cold

"Cooling blankets will do that Dana."

Dana closed her eyes for a minute. #O#

"Olivia?"

#yes#

"I called her, took the liberty of telling her you love her."

#I do#

"She said to tell you she loves you too. And she and Alex were keeping you in their thoughts and prayers."

#Alex is sweet. You would like her.#

"You're not playing match maker again, are you?"

#No. Alex and Olivia will be together when I am gone.# Dana was surprised at how easy it was, kind of like riding a bike. You might get rusty, but you never forget.

"I thought you weren't playing match maker."

#You know me#

"All to well. How many blind dates did you put me through?"

#Hey, when you told me you were interested in women I got it right#

"Yes you did." Brynn thought back about her first real love. Dana had set them up on a blind date, and her life was never the same since then. Kerri had died five years ago in a car accident.

#Dating?#

"Me? No."

#Why not? Bet you are beating girls away with a stick.#

"Work keeps me too busy."

#Tell me about it.#

"When did you decide you liked girls?"

#When I met Olivia. Fell in love.#

"That quick?"

#Yeah.#

"I thought you had to over analyze everything?"

#Love isn't science.#

"What about Mulder?"

Dana's eyes grew wide. #Does he know I'm here?#

"I didn't tell him."

#He'd be here if Olivia had called.#

"He couldn't get on base, FBI or not."

#You don't know M.#

"Yeah I do, but he wouldn't have made it this far. So you want me to call him?"

#No# Dana looked at the clock on the wall and buried her head in her hand.

"What is it?"

#Too late to tell O not to tell mom.#

"How is Maggie?"

#Good. Worried about her little girl.#

"That's understandable." Brynn noticed her signs were getting slower. "We'll have plenty of time to catch up when you can talk again. You need to rest."

#So do you.#

"We'll need to get another chest x-ray in a couple hours. You were still sounding fairly clear the last time I checked breath sounds."

#If the mushrooms or consequent pneumonia doesn't kill me, the radiation will.#

"You're temp is coming down, gradually." Brynn ignored the comment, even though she knew Dana was trying to lighten the mood.

#Sorry.#

"It's ok. Let's just not talk about you dying right now."

#Not talking won't make it go away.#

"Rest."

#Can't too cold.#

Finally after two hours they were able to remove the cooling blanket. They left the temperature probe in place to keep a closer eye on any fluctuations. An hour later Dr. Abernathy decided they couldn't put the chest x-ray off any longer."

#Well.#

"Take a look for yourself." Brynn snapped the films artfully onto the light box. She pointed to two areas. "This is fluid, most likely the beginning signs of pneumonia. This is our mushroom, or what remains. No growth since the one following the last bronchoscope. It looks like your treatment plan may have worked after all."

Dr. Abernathy turned to see Dana leaning over clutching her nose, a deep burgundy almost black gelatinous substance oozing between her fingers. "Dana?"

It was obvious she was in severe pain. Brynn carefully pulled her hand away. "You're bleeding, I need to take a look."

Dana saw the material on her hands and managed a very course response. "Not right."

"What's not right?"

"Red." Dana wasn't sure which was worse the pain in her head and nose or that in her throat. "Should be redder."

She groaned involuntarily pulling her hand away from Brynn, again grabbing her nose. A good-sized black blob making it's way out of her right nasal passage. Brynn grabbed a sterile cup to gather the gooey specimen in. A fluid that more resembled blood in both color and consistency followed the dark substance. Dr. Abernathy had just sat the specimen cup down when she felt a powerful grip on her arm. Dana was trying to get her attention, by the time she looked up the other woman's hold was weakening. Dana was ghostly white, and spiraling the bottom of the drain. Brynn helped her to lie back as she slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

"Olivia?" Alex couldn't believe what she was witnessing. She walked into Olivia's apartment and was almost knocked over by the smell of alcohol. There was an empty six-pack of Corona on the coffee table, a bottle with about two gulps left in the bottom sat on the end table. Another one was turned over on the carpet, and Olivia was nursing yet another bottle.

"Alex, come here." Olivia's voice was slurred as she patted the side of the couch.

Alex closed the door and made her way to the couch. She pulled the bottle gently out of Olivia's grasp. "I'll take this."

"I need that."

"No, you could use some really strong coffee. What possessed you to do this Olivia?"

"Dana's gone." Olivia mumbled.

"She's in a hospital. She's not dead." Alex reminded her.

"News Flash." Olivia waved her hands in the air. "She is dying."

"You don't know that."

"She has Cancar Alex." Olivia's pronunciation was off as well. "There is no cure."

"I know." Alex pulled Olivia into her chest, comforting herself almost as much as Olivia.

"You smell good." Olivia hummed.

"You're drunk Olivia."

"I don't care." Olivia shrugged, running a hand up the outside of Alex's thigh.

She was able to ignore Olivia's hand until it made its way under her shirt, at the same moment her tongue dipped into the concave area above Alex's sternum. An involuntary moan escaped her lips before she pulled away from Olivia. "No. Absolutely not."

"What? Don't you love me?" Olivia pouted.

"That's the problem Olivia, I love you and Dana both too much to take advantage of this. Despite what my body wants. Come on." Alex pulled Olivia to her feet and helped her stumble down the hall.

"Where are we going?"

"I am putting you to bed."

"Are you gonna join me?" Olivia grinned.

"No. I'll be on the couch tonight if you need me." Alex sat Olivia on the side of the bed, and pulled out a nightgown figuring it was the easiest thing to get on her.

She unbuttoned Olivia's shirt and pulled it off, next came the sleeveless shirt she was wearing under it. Before she had time to do anything else, Olivia had her bra off and was twirling it like a lasso in the air. Alex caught it and flung it aside. Olivia took the opportunity to grab Alex around the neck and pull her in for a kiss.

"Damn." Alex pulled away. This was going to be harder than she thought. "Hands up."

"I surrender occifer." Olivia giggled as Alex pulled the oversized nightshirt over Olivia's head.

Alex couldn't step back before Olivia was fumbling with the buttons on her jeans. "That's it Olivia."

"What?" Olivia watched as Alex took her hands and placed them on her own waistband.

"Since you think you can unbutton jeans, I'll leave you to your own devices. Good night." Alex retreated to the living room and commenced cleaning up the mess Olivia had left behind.

She had just finished picking up the empty bottles when she heard Olivia run into the bathroom to bring up her toenails.

The sun started shinning through the window and Olivia pulled a pillow over her head, cursing. "Whoever you are, go back to hell!"

Alex stood in the doorway. "I hate to tell you, but you deserve that headache."

"Who asked you?" Olivia pulled the pillow tighter over her head, flashes of the night before clouded her memory. "Oh shit!"

"What?" Alex asked half amused as she leaned against the doorframe.

"Please tell me I didn't do what I think I did?"

"Well, that all depends on what you think you did?"

"Did we?" Olivia peeked out at the blonde.

"No, we didn't."

"But I came on to you?" Olivia could tell from Alex's new crimson coloring she had. "I'm so sorry Alex."

"I think today's hang over will be penance enough." Alex laughed lightly; glad she was able to keep control of her own hormones the previous night.

* * *

Dr. Abernathy was checking the EEG monitor when she heard the vacuum in the entryway turn on. It took her a few seconds to realize she hadn't asked for any staff to come in, and Dana wasn't due for any medications or treatments. She turned just in time to see an unprotected Agent Mulder burst impatiently through the door. A security team was scrambling into bio-suits in the observation room.

"Stand down, Agent Mulder!" Brynn pulled her Army issue weapon and pointed at his forehead. Now she knew why she was required to carry the stupid thing into the isolation rooms.

"You look like shit Brynn." He raised his hands to his chest in surrender.

"Yeah, well I haven't been getting much sleep. And when I'm tired, I get trigger happy." She stared him down from the other side of her faceplate. "Do you realize you have potentially contaminated yourself to a highly fatal pathogen? And how the hell did you get past security?"

Agent Mulder grinned. "Guess I'll be staying in here then."

Brynn looked at the empty bed where she had caught the odd few minutes of rest she'd had since this whole thing started. "Nope, you'll be getting your own accommodations. And assuming you're not infected, you'll be thrown in the brig until I decide to let you out."

"And if I am infected?" Agent Mulder heard the security team in the decontamination corridor.

"I'll have to flip a coin as to whether I'll treat you." Brynn turned to the MPs and barked out her orders. "I want him in four point restraints, and put into isolation room two. I'll be out to write orders for the medical staff in a minute."

"Scully I love you." Agent Mulder yelled as he struggled with the MPs.

"And be advised, Agent Mulder's head isn't the only one that will be on a platter." Brynn heard one of Dana's alarms sound indicating a low blood oxygen saturation. She turned to see a reading of seventy-nine percent. "She's going into respiratory failure I need some help in here stat."

She turned from the window and grabbed an endotracheal tube. "What the hell is he still doing here? Get him into room two."

As she shouted her orders she was already looking down Dana's airway with the laryngoscope. By the time her nurse and respiratory therapist were suited up and in the room, Dr. Abernathy had Dana intubated and was manually ventilating her. The nurse took over bagging while the respiratory therapist set up the ventilator and connected her. Brynn checked lung sounds, and did another neuro check. The EEG reading remained the same, she was showing spikes on painful stimulus but other then that there was no response.

Once Dana was stabilized Dr. Abernathy stepped out into the observation room. Dr. Tate walked in as she finished removing her suit. "You have got to see this."

"What?" She heaved a sigh.

"You're not going to believe it." He looked over her shoulder into the second quarantine room. "Who the hell?"

"Agent Mulder was somehow able to breach security at several levels and busted into Agent Scully's room." She watched Dr. Tate's expression as he noted the ET tube and respiratory staff currently manning Dana's room. "She went into failure, I've ordered chest films to check the status of the fungus. Now, I need to write orders for Agent Mulder's care."

"I'll take care of it in a minute." Dr. Tate took her by the arm and started leading her toward the lab. "You need to look at what came out of Agent Scully's nose. Then I'll let you look at her chest x-rays before you get a shower and some sleep."

"Who died and made you Chief Medical Officer?"

"I'm sorry ma'am, but if you don't get some rest you're going to die and make me Chief." Dr. Tate smiled.

"I thought you wanted to be CMO."

"Not if you have to die so I can get the position. I'll wait for you to transfer or retire ma'am."

"Thanks Tate, and drop the formalities." Brynn stepped into the lab. "If there is any change in Dana's status, any at all…"

"I will call up to your office." Dr. Tate responded.

"And I want Agent Mulder treated as hostile."

"Yes ma'am." Tate gave a mock salute as Brynn peered into the microscope.

"Tell me I'm really seeing what I think I'm seeing." Brynn looked at Dr. Tate who was smiling, before looking back into the scope.

"If you think you are seeing cancer cells, you are correct."

Brynn lowered herself to the stool that was beside her. "We need to get another PET scan."

"I will order it, you need to get some rest."

Brynn looked at her pager, which was beeping at her waist. "My x-rays are up."

Dr. Tate followed Dr. Abernathy back to the observation and treatment rooms. Dana's x-rays showed signs of increased fluid from the pneumonia, but the fungal infection was not escalating. She thought it might even be decreasing. "I'll be in my office, have her PET scan films brought up as soon as they've been processed."

Brynn walked into her office and pulled out Olivia's number. She tried the precinct first but was told she could be reached at home. "Benson residence, Cabot speaking."

"This is Dr. Abernathy, I'd like to speak with Olivia Benson please."

"One minute, please." Alex shook Olivia's shoulder.

"I gave at the office." Olivia was trying to sleep off the after effects of too many Corona's.

"Olivia, it's Dr. Abernathy." Alex stepped back as Olivia shot up on the couch.

"Ouch!" The movement sent a new wave of pain through her head, as she took the phone from Alex. "Hello?"

"Olivia?"

"Yes."

"You sound different."

"I was trying to sleep off a headache. What's going on with Dana?"

"Well, I think you need to come down here."

"You can't give me any information over the phone?"

"Right now I'm still trying to process the information I have and I'm waiting on more test results. I can tell you that she is still critical, and has recently taken a turn for the worse." When Olivia didn't respond she continued. "As a complication of her treatment Dana has developed pneumonia, and is currently on a ventilator. I am aware I over rode her DNR request, but I do believe that the pneumonia is treatable and she will pull out of this. I've already taken the liberty of checking flights, and unfortunately even pulling my weight the soonest flight down doesn't leave for twelve hours."

"We'll drive." Olivia stated.

"When you arrive at the front gate, tell them you are here to see me. I'll leave instructions with security." Brynn hung up with Olivia just as there was a knock at her door. "Come in."

"Ma'am." The new radiology tech stood at attention and saluted her.

"At ease private." Brynn sighed. "What have you got?"

"The PET scan you requested."

"That was fast."

"Dr. Tate put a rush order on it, sir. I mean ma'am."

"Thank you private." Brynn tried not to laugh at his nervousness. "You're dismissed."

When the private had retreated Brynn removed the films and put them on the large light box on her entry wall. "Well I'll be…"

"It's clear?" Dr. Tate asked from the doorway.

"Take a look for yourself, cause I sure don't believe it."

"I'm not even going to ask how." Dr. Tate looked at Brynn for a second. "Lieutenant Colonel you need sleep and a shower."

"Yes, Major. Although I'm not sure I like taking orders from a major." She laughed as he exited the room.

Brynn settled down on the couch in her office. She knew from experience it was more comfortable then the patient beds down in level one quarantine. Which rarely housed any patients, since they could be taken care of in a regular hospital setting. It didn't take her long to fall asleep, and while the next eight hours were spent in a deep solid sleep, they were also filled with dreams.

When she awoke ten minutes before her requested wake up call she was able to remember bits and pieces of her dreams. Most of which centered around real memories from when she, and Dana were in med school. She attributed the walk down memory lane to spending so much time around Dana the last few days. It really seemed like the last few days held a lifetime in them.

Brynn pushed herself off the couch and walked to her desk, picking up the receiver and dialing the connection in Dana's room.

"Tate speaking."

"Major, I just wanted to let you know you can forgo my wake up call. How is Dana?"

"Status quo, ma'am. There has been no change."

"And Agent Mulder?"

"So far he has remained symptom free and his x-rays are clear. I got tired of listening to him yell, and I was afraid he might actually hurt himself pulling on the restraints. So he is currently taking a Haldol nap."

"Sounds like you know how to handle him." Brynn smiled to herself knowing just what a pain Mulder could be. "I'm going to get a shower and then I will be down. Agent Scully's next of kin and coworker should be arriving on base within the next hour or two."

"Take your time Dr. Abernathy, I've got things under control for now."

"Thanks Tate. I'll be down soon."

Brynn took a quick shower, which left her feeling better than sleeping had. She decided not to put on another dress uniform, since it made suiting up that much more difficult, and instead grabbed a pair of BDU's from her closet. Some weeks it felt like she lived on Base, or more accurately in USAMRIID. When she procured the position of CMO six months earlier she replaced the old cot in the office with a couch. She figured it was more practical, not realizing she would spend just as much time sleeping in the building as she had before.

"You're momma wears combat boots." She couldn't help but giggle as she laced up the boots.

Brynn had just returned to her office when she got a call from the main desk. "Lieutenant Colonel Abernathy, how may I help you?"

"Colonel, this is Braddock at the front desk. I have a security escort here with a Detective Olivia Benson and an Alexandra Cabot."

"I'll be right down." Brynn hung up the phone and headed for the elevator.

She pressed the button for the ground floor, and started wondering if this Alexandra Cabot was the same Cabot she spoke to that morning. She also wondered if she was the Alex, Dana had referred to. A little self conscious, Brynn wondered if she shouldn't have worn her dress uniform. Of course she had always been one for practicality. The elevator came to a stop and the bell dinged before the doors opened.

She stepped out and looked past the two visitors and out the glass doors flanking the entrance. "Guess I don't get to see the sun today either."

"No, ma'am." One of the security guards responded as Brynn looked up to see the two MPs flanking Olivia and Alex still standing at attention, and saluting.

"At ease." She returned the gesture. "You're dismissed."

Olivia looked at the doctor who would have stood an inch or two shorter than Dana. It was the first time she was able to put a face to the soft but authoritative voice she'd spoken with over the last few days. Aside from her height, Dr. Abernathy's eyes were the most striking part about her on visual examination. They were the clearest light green Olivia had ever seen. Had she not been standing close enough to know the doctor wasn't wearing contacts, she would have sworn they weren't real.

Alex was doing her own examination of the woman with un-human like green eyes. Her short cropped blonde hair stood out on end in a messy, but cute style. Alex thought the cut suited her well. She was also impressed by the woman's rank and ease of command. She wasn't harsh by any means, but so far she received very high respect.

"I'm Dr. Abernathy, and which one of you is Olivia?"

"I'm Olivia." Olivia shook Brynn's out stretched hand. "And this is Alex Cabot, our personal ADA and close friend of Dana's."

"The name precedes you." Brynn gave her a firm handshake before turning back toward the elevators. "If you'll follow me, we will go up to my office. I think we will better be able to talk up there. Braddock, if I get any calls send them to voice mail."

"Yes, ma'am." The Sergent behind the desk responded.

Brynn lead them down the long corridor to her office, and offered them both a seat. She stood leaning against her desk. "I know you are both wondering how Dana is doing, and unfortunately there had been no change in her status since we spoke on the phone. This isn't an entirely bad thing, because this means the pathogen which is responsible for the other deaths is not progressing."

"But she is still unresponsive?" Olivia asked.

"She is, but we think we now know why."

"The tumor."

Brynn nodded, not giving away any information she had.

"How much time do you think she has?" Alex asked when Olivia didn't say anything.

"Well, assuming we can get the pneumonia under control and she regains consciousness; Which I have no doubt she will. I give her another thirty to forty years minimum, as long as she continues to dodge bullets."

"But the tumor?" Olivia was thoroughly confused.

"Is gone." Brynn pointed to the films still up on the lightbox. "This one is the PET scan we did not long after Dana arrived here. This is the PET scan we did nine odd hours ago. There is no tumor."

"I don't understand." Olivia stood up and looked closer at the films. "You're sure it's gone?"

Brynn nodded. "We don't completely understand how. I was reviewing her chest x-ray with her, and when I turned around she was in distress. A large object made it's way out of her nose, and we were later able to determine that it was the tumor."

Brynn turned to look at the ringing phone. She knew from the single ring it was an inside call. "I'm sorry, I need to take this call. Abernathy."

"It's Tate, I wanted to let you know Agent Scully is running a temp of 103.8. RT just suctioned her, and they are now getting green and yellow sputum as well as blood."

"Do you think it's trauma from suctioning?"

"I don't, it's more than what we would normally attribute to suctioning. It could be from the repeated bronchs. I've sent a specimen to the lab to be cultured, and we've got the cooling blankets back on."

"Sounds like you've got things pretty much covered doc. Why don't you go ahead with a loading dose on Gentimycin just to be safe? The last thing we need is for her to go into septic shock on us, if she isn't already. How's Agent Mulder?"

"Sleeping like a baby."

"Ok, I'll be down in about ten minutes." Brynn turned back to Olivia and Alex who were talking quitly amongst themselves. She hadn't really stepped far enough out of her professional persona to notice the blonde attorney until now. Dana was wrong, she wasn't cute, she was drop dead gorgeous.

Brynn cleared her throat when she realized blue eyes were staring back at her expectantly. "Um, Ms. Cabot, I'm afraid I won't be able to get security clearance for you until tomorrow afternoon. Our security team has to run a number of background checks."

"I understand." Alex seemed to be in her own professional mode at the moment.

"Detective Benson."

"Olivia, please."

Brynn nodded. "Olivia, I can't let you go further then the observation room. We are hoping to be able to down grade her isolation status in the next 24-48 hours, but until that time, I can't take the chance of infecting anyone who isn't directly interfaced with her medical care at this point."

Olivia nodded. "I would still like to see her."

"I thought you would. If you'll both follow me." Brynn took them back down to the main level and left Alex in the front lobby. Then she and Olivia went down a long corridor passing an armed security check point. When they reached an new bank of elevators Brynn had to swipe a security card and put in a code before they could even get into the elevator. How Mulder had gotten inside was a mystery to her, unless those weird computer geek friends of his helped. What did Dana call them? The Lone Gunman.

Brynn took them down five levels, where they exited the elevator. After trekking down another long corridor she swiped her badge through another security check point and they entered the observation area of Quarantine level four. The first room Olivia noticed was the one in which Agent Mulder was currently strapped to a bed. "What's he doing here?"

"It's classified." Brynn saw the look of concern on Olivia's face. "No, he didn't get to see Dana either. And while he could have easily come to see her with his FBI clearance he decided to forgo procedure, and now I'm going to make the next couple weeks hell for him."

Olivia couldn't help but smile a little at the thought. She didn't really hate Mulder, and if she were completely honest she would admit she was a little jealous of the bond he and Dana still shared. Still all in all she knew what a pain in the ass he could be.

Olivia turned to the next window and froze. On the way down Dr. Abernathy had tried to explain the condition Dana's body was in. Olivia figured she couldn't look worse than she'd seen her. She was wrong. Dana had wires snaking from almost every part of her body, she was intubated, had several different IV sites, and a Foley catheter. Even though Olivia didn't know how it was possible, Dana was even paler and had lost even more weight. She was just short of being a skeleton.

Brynn saw the reaction, and reached over to support Olivia as she crumpled to the floor. She held the taller woman while she cried in loud sobs on her shoulder. Mumbling words that didn't make sense. Brynn heard a gasp followed by a definite wheeze escape from Olivia's body. She pulled back to see the brunette struggling to breathe. She yanked her stethoscope out of one of her cargo pockets, while yelling at one of the nurses in the room. "I need two mgs of epi drawn up."

She listened to the detective's lungs sounds which where almost absent. She was in distress, and hardly moving any air. "She's in stidor. I need an O2 sat and a non-re-breather at 100%."

As she barked out orders she snatched the needle out of the nurse's hand and pulled Olivia's jeans down. "You're going to feel a stick."

Olivia continued to struggle to breathe, the skin retracting between her collar bones and above her sternum. Dr. Abernathy was sure she was retracting between her ribs too. She tried to put the mask on Olivia, who only freaked out and fought against her. "You've got to trust me Olivia, it's just an oxygen mask."

Brynn knew from her asthmatic childhood, as well as her medical training, that when you can't breathe the last thing you want is for someone to put something over your mouth and nose. It doesn't matter if it will help you breathe better, the brain says it won't and people fight back. Luckily Olivia was willing to trust the doctor of whom she had heard mention of from Dana.

The epinephrine was kicking in, and Olivia's airways were starting to open up. Her head no longer felt like it was swimming, but she felt like a freight train had taken up residence in her chest. Her ears pounded with the increased heart rate, and she shook like a wino in the tank.

"I need a wheelchair." Brynn adjusted the oxygen mask and checked Olivia's blood oxygen saturation. It had come up from 88, to 94%. Because of the way blood gases worked, Dr. Abernathy would have preferred a reading above 96% but 94 would have to do. "I'm going to move her to level one, and make sure she's ok. Call Jones and tell them to be on stand by. I may be sending her over."

Brynn helped a shaky Olivia into the wheelchair and took her back down the corridor back to the elevators. They went up four levels and past a small lab into what looked like a normal hospital room. "We rarely use this level."

Brynn explained to Olivia that level one isolation was basic respiratory or contact isolation in a hospital. Olivia was looking better and no longer retracting. She pulled the mask off while Brynn listened to her lungs again. "Any history of asthma?"

"No." Olivia answered hoarsely.

"You're still just a little tight."

"I'm fine." Olivia reassured her.

"Ever have anything like this happen before?"

"No." Olivia shook her head as Brynn stepped back around in front of her.

Brynn studied the detective's face for a minute. Funny, she really didn't know enough about Olivia to form an opinion, but something told her there was something special about this one. Dana definitely knew how to pick her companions, and not just based on looks. "You're coloring is getting better."

Olivia blushed having felt something pass between them in the moments Brynn had been visually sructinizing her. "I'm feeling much better, thank you."

"No need to thank me." Brynn flushed lightly, internally remanding herself. She hated being so fair skinned, and easily embarrassed. "I think this could just be from the stress of seeing your loved one in the condition Dana is in. Emotions can really cause some pretty significant physiological symptoms. Although you don't normally see that kind of respiratory distress in someone who doesn't have reactive airways disease."

Olivia shrugged, after the way Dana had looked to her she could accept that it was stress. And with each passing minute she was honestly feeling better. Brynn excused herself and went to the medical station on level one to call down and check on her main patient. Dr. Tate reported that her temp was slowly coming down, and was currently at 103.0.

When she returned to the room fifteen minutes later Olivia was finally looking normal. Brynn pulled out her stethescope and listened to Olivia's lungs. She stepped back. "How are you feeling?"

"Great, now that my heart has slowed back down."

"I'd really like to admit you to the hospital over night, just as a precaution."

"I think I'll live." Olivia smiled nervously. She didn't want to stay in a hospital this far from home.

"Do you have a cell phone?"

"Yes." Olivia's brow knitted in confusion.

"Good, then I'll give my pager number to Ms. Cabot and if you have any problems at all I want one of you to page me. If I can't get away from Dana, I'll send one of my trusted colleagues."

Brynn took Olivia back up to ground level and they found Alex waiting in the lobby. She explained what happened to Olivia and things to keep an eye on over night. She then turned them over to security to show them the guest quarters they had opened up on base for them.

Brynn returned to level 5 and relieved Dr. Tate of his duties thanking him for allowing her to get some much needed sleep. She suited up and went in to check on Agent Mulder who was still asymptomatic. "I want to see her damn it!"

Brynn smiled at his hoarseness from yelling earlier. "Agent Mulder, if you don't calm down and be quiet I am going to find the biggest, dullest needle on the continent and use your ass for target practice. You're on my turf, without clearance, you're damn lucky I don't report you. Now, I am going to be next door with Dana, and if your good I might rethink throwing you in the brig when this is over."

"Damn you're good." Agent Mulder mumbled.

Brynn grinned, she knew she was the only woman besides Dana who could make Mulder shake in his boots. It made her stand a little taller knowing she had this power. She went out and as a precaution changed into a new suit, before entering Dana's room.

Brynn immediately checked all of the machines and monitors. She noted silently the O2 Sat of 92%, the temperature still hanging out around 103, despite cooling blankets and tylenol suppositories. Her pupils were sluggish to the point of almost being non-responsive to light. On a positive note, whenever Brynn would talk to her there was a fluctuation on her EEG monitor, as well as when ever she applied painful stimuli.

Brynn sent most of the night staff out, keeping a nurse and respiratory therapist in the observation room to keep an eye on Agent Mulder and be there if an emergency arose. She doubted Agent Mulder would be much trouble, considering he was still in four point restraints. She sat beside Dana's bed and told her the news about her tumor. She also told her about meeting Detective Benson and how she knew there was something special about Olivia. She really hadn't paid much attention to Alex having been in her professional mode the entire time, but she hadn't missed those sapphire eyes. She then regaled stories from their college years, not only to keep the connection with Dana but to keep her own mind from wondering if she would ever recover.


	6. Storms

Storms

Brynn had stopped talking to Dana around six am. She had kept an eye on the monitors all night and was discouraged. Dana's temp was currently 103.2, after a thousand milligrams of Tylenol given rectally. The cooling blankets were still in place, and there was nothing more she could do. She wondered just how high the redhead's temperature would climb without treatment. The last time she was suctioned the secretions were thick green and blood tinged. Her oxygen levels remained between 92 and 94. Her EEG, and EKG readings were unchanged.

At seven Dr. Abernathy stepped out of her room, leaving Anna one of her highly trusted nurses in her place. She stripped from her suit and went to the small lounge down the hall in search of coffee. The black sludge she found was left over from the afternoon before, but she didn't have the time or energy to brew a new pot. Dr. Tate joined her. "How's your patient?"

Brynn ran her hand through short golden locks and let out a heartbreaking sigh. "Things aren't looking good."

She was halfway through with updating Dr. Tate when the overhead PA system blared to life. "MD to Level 4, room 2 stat."

Brynn sat her mug aside and was down the hall before Dr. Tate could even blink. She was already suited up and connecting her ventilation tube when he arrived behind her. From the window they could see Dana was in the middle of a Grand Mal seizure. Dr. Abernathy had ordered Phenobarbital to be given as soon as she had assessed the situation, and the seizure had already ceased by the time she entered the room. She ordered a battery of tests and refused to leave Dana's bedside.

At ten Olivia and Alex showed up. They were still working on getting the proper clearance for Alex. Dr. Tate came up and explained that under the circumstances, Dr. Abernathy would not leave the area. He did tell them it was highly possible the seizure was a result of her temperature. Since the tumor wasn't actually in the brain, there shouldn't be any intracranial swelling, but they were looking at all possibilities.

Olivia's cell phone rang as they were leaving the USAMRIID building. It was Maggie Scully. Olivia explained the entire situation to Maggie, and told her that they really didn't know what was going to happen. True to form, Maggie was on the next plane home.

The next twenty-four hours were no better. Dana had four more seizures. Her temperature remained elevated despite the intravenous antibiotics, Tylenol and cooling blankets. She was being suctioned every two hours to clear mucous plugs and keep her oxygen sats above 90%. This was leading to more trauma to the lung tissue, and increasing the amount of blood they were seeing on suctioning. Her heart rate was elevated, a combination of the infection, seizure activity, fever and the frequent suctioning.

At eleven o'clock Dr. Tate forced Dr. Abernathy to leave long enough to shower, eat and talk with Dana's mom. Dr. Abernathy went to the mess hall and looked over the food. Right now MREs looked more appetizing than the food there. Ok, so MREs never look appetizing. Brynn decided to forego eating so she could try and pull her thoughts together before meeting with Maggie. She hadn't seen her in years, and the news she had to pass on wasn't something any doctor wanted to tell a patient's relative. Especially not when that relative treated you like a member of the family.

She decided to put on her dress uniform. It consisted of an Army green skirt, jacket, and a lighter green shirt under it. When security called up that the trio had arrived she had one of the operators escort them up to her office. It would save her the trouble of an awkward elevator ride.

Maggie walked into the office as Brynn stood up. She didn't even have a chance to say hello before she was enveloped in the loving arms of the older Scully. Alex and Olivia followed behind her.

"I know you are doing everything for her you can Brynn. I trust your judgment and Olivia has told me about the tumor and Dana's condition. I don't however understand you not leaving Dana's side long enough to talk to Olivia yourself."

Brynn blushed lightly at the mother's slightly admonishing tone. "I couldn't leave her side. It's hard enough for me to be up here instead of down there right now."

"I know." Maggie sighed. "I know you've got her best interests at heart."

Brynn nodded and turned toward Olivia. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine."

"How are you holding up?" Brynn asked knowingly.

"I'm hanging in there." Olivia looked to Alex for reassurance. She had spent the previous two nights crying on the blonde's shoulder. She was tired of being the strong one.

"And you Ms. Cabot?"

"Alex is fine, and I'm doing ok." She had to be ok, for Olivia.

Dr. Abernathy invited them to sit down and then seated herself behind her desk. She was currently all business. She reviewed with the group Dana's condition, including the developments over the last twenty-four hours. She concluded with basically telling them the only things keeping her alive right now were the respirator and the parental nutrition she was receiving through a subclavian line.

"Dana wouldn't want this." Maggie was near tears, but she kept her emotions in check. Something her daughter had learned from her. "She wouldn't want to live like this."

"If you are telling me to take away life support," Brynn sat perfectly straight in her chair. "That isn't an option right now."

"The last time we decided to stop life support, Dana pulled through."

"That was different."

"You're telling me Dana might not make it out of this."

"I'm telling you that if I can get the lung infection and sepsis under control, there is a very good chance she will pull out of this. I will not give up on her."

"She's in a coma." Alex pointed out. "What are the chances of brain damage?"  
"Right now, because of the seizure activity and the elevated temps there is a small chance of permanent brain damage. However, the tumor was in the sinus region. If the tumor had continued to grow over the next two to three weeks it would have pushed into her brain. Death from that point would have been immediate or if she was unlucky it would have caused her to have mental problems and turn into a vegetable until the tumor eventually killed her. The good news is whatever caused this tumor to liquefy and migrate out, saved her life. I honestly don't think she would have had even another week at the rate it was growing. The good news is the tumor hasn't caused the coma. I can't tell you with any certainty what is causing it. It could be the fevers, shock from the tumor's disappearance, or the pathogen that invaded her body, any other number of things could have caused it."

"Brynn," Maggie spoke again. She hadn't even seen her daughter but she had seen enough in Olivia's eyes to tell her how bad things really were. "I want you to take away the life support and let nature run its course. Its what Dana would want."

As if things couldn't get worse Brynn's phone rang, or maybe it was a blessing in disguise. "Abernathy."

"We need you down here, now." Dr. Tate hung up before she could ask what was going on.

"I have to go. My secretary will show you out." She stood up to leave, but Maggie stopped her.

"Let her go."

Brynn glanced over at Olivia who was no longer able to hold her own tears at bay. Alex had an arm draped around her shoulders. With out knowing why, she looked into Olivia's eyes and said; "She is going to be fine."

"You don't owe Dana anything." Maggie yelled down the hall after her.

Like hell she didn't. Brynn couldn't stop her mind from replaying countless times Dana had saved her life, both figuratively and literally. She shook the thoughts from her mind as she walked into observation room. Dana was seizing again. "What have you given her?"

"I've maxed her out on Phenobarbital." Dr. Tate answered over the intercom. "This is the third seizure she's had in the last hour and a half. It's by far the worst."

She knew by the time she would get suited up and into the room the seizure would be over. "I want blood cultures drawn and a lavender top so I can take it to the lab for microscopic study."

She waited for the nursing staff to bring the requested blood back out and headed off to the lab. She kicked herself for not rechecking Dana's blood for pathogens. They had been clear before, and it was the assumption of both Dr. Tate and herself, that this wouldn't change. But looking into the microscope now it made perfect sense. The trauma to the lung tissue had opened up the bloodstream. Under the highest magnification Dr. Abernathy could detect the tiny yellowish white spores.

She returned to the observation room and suited up to take Tate's place. "I'm going to give her Caspofungin 60mg every eight hours."

"Are you crazy?"

"Yes." She nodded although it was difficult to tell underneath the hood of her suit.

"It's only suggested on a q 24 hour basis."

"I know. But right now that's not doing the trick. I think the presence of the spores in her blood stream is what's causing the elevated temps, which in turn is causing the seizures. She might even be in a coma because of the level of spore activity in her system. I don't have a choice. Her mom is ready to pull her off life support, and I am not going to let that happen."

"If it goes to court…"

Brynn cut Tate off. "It won't. She'll either be out of this in the next week, or she'll be dead. I don't like the way the seizures are progressing. So unless you have a better plan."

"No, I agree with your plan of treatment Colonel."

"Seriously?"

"You know I wouldn't tell you I did if I didn't."

"I appreciate the vote of confidence Major. Now, go get some rest."

"I've called in Galgano to cover the night shift."

"That won't be necessary."

"You haven't slept in…"

"I will sleep when I know my patient is stable again. What's the status of Agent Mulder?"

"He's being quiet, and there are no signs he was infected."

"Good, have him escorted off base, and tell him if he steps foot back on this base I will personally have his badge."

"Yes ma'am." Tate saluted and left the room.

Dr. Abernathy hung the next dose of Caspofungin, and then sat down beside Dana's bed. She understood where Maggie Scully was coming from. She had seen her daughter on a ventilator too many times to count. She had watched her almost die at least two other times, if not more. How much could a mother's heart and psyche take? Brynn knew Maggie wouldn't take her to court to get the life support turned off. She also knew if Dana didn't turn around soon with this treatment, she wouldn't need a court order to get her to pull the plug herself. With each new seizure, and each passing hour of unconsciousness, Dana's chances of survival were decreasing. So why did she tell Olivia that Dana would be fine. Why give her false hope? Her only answer, because she didn't believe it was false hope.

Two more seizures followed the dose of Caspofungin, and Dr. Abernathy wondered if it could be the cause. She knew there had been no reported seizure activity in the case studies she'd reviewed with the drug. She reviewed Dana's chart and waited for the bottom to drop out.

The second dose of Caspofungin hung, Brynn did a neuro check. She was surprised to see Dana's pupils were slightly more reactive to light. Or maybe it was just her imagination. Four hours later Tate appeared at the observation window. "How's she doing?"

"Ten hours with out a seizure." Brynn crossed her fingers and held them up for him to see. "Temp has actually dropped to 100.8."

One of the alarms on the ventilator blared. Brynn turned to see it was the high-pressure alarm. She hit reset knowing she had just suctioned Dana. It went a few minutes before alarming again. She shrugged her shoulders and turned the pressure setting down. That seemed to do the trick.

An hour later the high-pressure alarm sounded again, and Brynn wasn't getting anything on suctioning. Again she turned the setting down.

* * *

"Benson."

"Olivia, it's Dr. Abernathy." Brynn looked through the glass at the respiratory therapist who was working with Dana.

"We actually just walked into the lobby." Olivia commented.

"Is Maggie with you?"

"Yes. Did Dana?"

"I'm on my way up." Brynn hung up the phone and looked down at her wrinkled Dress uniform.

The trio looked up at Lieutenant Colonel Abernathy when she stepped into the lobby. She looked tired and ragged to say the least. They knew she hadn't left Dana's side since they had talked to her the day before. "We should go up to my office."

Olivia had the feeling she was stalling for time. If Dana was dead, why couldn't she just tell them there? Of course Olivia didn't want to hear those words ever, so she followed silently.

When they reached Brynn's office she waited for them to be seated before taking a seat herself. She looked at her watch, and then glanced over the long faces in front of her. No one wanted to ask, and as tired as Brynn was she still couldn't believe what she was about to say.

"Dana is…" Brynn cleared her throat, tears glistening in her eyes.

Olivia looked up, afraid to see the tears the doctor was shedding. She couldn't keep from looking up either. A small smile was pulling at the tired doctors lips. "Dana is going to be just fine."


	7. Matchmaker

Matchmaker

When Dana had come out of her coma, Brynn was there at her bedside, and from that point on there hadn't been a time when she woke up where either Brynn or Olivia weren't there. While Brynn talked to Maggie, Alex and Olivia, her staff moved Dana to level one isolation. It had been deemed she was no longer contagious, however airborne isolation procedures were followed to help keep her from picking up anything from her visitors. Two weeks later she was transferred to the base hospital and Dr. Abernathy continued to follow her care.

While Alex went back to work, Olivia took all of her vacation time to stay with Dana. She rented a car, and stayed in the Scully home. It was good getting to know Maggie, who had taken her under her wing immediately. The older Scully woman knew just how much Olivia cared for her daughter, and vise versa. Olivia would stay with Dana during the day, and Brynn took advantage of this time to catch some sleep. She would leave around ten in the morning and come back around eight in the evening staying over night in the room with Dana. It was rare that Dana had been left alone for more then an hour, and that was only in the last week.

After a month in the hospital Dana was finally allowed to go home. She would still be out of work for another month at the very least, longer if Dr. Abernathy had any say. The cancer and the hybrid mushroom that had in the end, somehow saved her life, had also left her severely emaciated. Over the past thirty days she had put on some weight and was able to walk short distances. It would still be several months before she would be able to run the course at Quantico and be released back to complete status. Over the next few months she would be working closely with physical therapists in New York to regain her strength.

It had been just as long since she had seen Mulder. True to her word Brynn had kept him off base and as far away from Dana as possible. Olivia had been thankful.

On the day of Dana's release Brynn announced she was taking her accumulated leave to go to New York and take care of her friend. Olivia had to get back to work, and Dana had refused to let her mom come help out. Besides, Tara could still use her help in Seattle.

"You don't have to do that. I'll be fine." Dana assured her.

"I've already made arrangements." Brynn wasn't convinced.

"Well then, you're staying with me and not in some stuffy hotel."

"I've already got reservations."

"Reservations are made to be canceled." Dana gave her a look that dared her to argue.

"Fine." Brynn relented.

The first day back home was tiring. Elliot stopped by to see if he could do anything. Next Munch and Fin stopped by bringing Chinese take out for lunch. Captain Cragen came by to give her well wishes in person, and to meet the world-renowned virologist. As he was leaving Warner stopped by. Dana knew she was dying to see the PET scans. They still couldn't believe the cancer was gone. Of course they could only speculate as to the cure, since all the spores had been destroyed, and the ones in the lab at USAMRIID had disappeared. Mulder even caught a flight up and stopped in.

"She's tired Mulder, you can't stay long." Brynn warned.

"I'll stay as long as I want to stay." He pushed his way past her, but lowered his head when he felt her glaring holes into his back.

"Would you two stop acting like teenage siblings?" Dana reprimanded, with a touch of humor in her tone.

Mulder gave her a hug, and smiled at Olivia. "Jealous?"  
"Mulder?" The humor was gone.

"I was just picking." He slumped into the chair across from the couch were Dana was half reclining. Olivia was sitting at her feet.

They talked about her cancer, and Mulder was convinced the shadow government had something to do with the spores disappearing before Dr. Abernathy and her team really had time to study them. Brynn thought it was highly possible, since the majority of her notes on the spores' properties, and all of the reports from their staff mycologist were missing. But she dared not agree with Mulder out loud. He stayed about an hour and a half before Brynn told him he had to leave. She disappeared into the kitchen while he said his goodbyes, and promised to stop by the next day before he flew back home. He muttered something about Aliens waiting on his desk.

Brynn came back carrying a glass of ice cold Ensure, she handed it to Dana who made a face. "Don't make me pull Dr. Abernathy out of my hat Dana. You didn't eat much for lunch and you need the nutrients."

Dana took a sip and sat it down on the coffee table. "Satisfied?"

"Hardly." Brynn watched as Dana laid her head back on the couch and closed her eyes. "Let's get you to bed."

"I'm fine." She opened her eyes to see tropical green ones locked firmly on her. She knew the shifting of colors from years gone by meant not to argue, but that rarely stopped her.

"You need to rest." Brynn looked to Olivia for back up.

"I am resting." Dana grinned slightly. "Besides, Alex is supposed to stop by when she gets off."

"You know as well as I do that could be seven or eight o'clock." Olivia stood up. "Brynn is right, you need to rest."

Dana sighed. She was too tired to argue. Truth be told, she was too tired to even stand on her own but Brynn and Olivia were already aware of that. Without any further discussion the two women helped Dana to her feet and down the hall.

* * *

At six o'clock there was a soft knock on the door. Olivia got up from the couch and went to answer it. She looked through the peephole to see Alex standing there. She looked good, or maybe it was the fact Olivia hadn't seen her in a month. She opened the door. "Hey you!"

Alex smiled as Olivia pulled her into a hug. "How's Dana?"

"She's sleeping." Olivia stepped back allowing her entrance. "Agent Mulder is in town and wore her out. Not to mention all the guys from the squad."

Alex noticed the hauntingly green eyes that were focused on her from the living room. She nodded in her direction. "Dr. Abernathy."

"It's Brynn." She closed the medical text she was reading. She either hadn't noticed how beautiful the young ADA was, or she had forgotten. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the lithe figure as she walked into the room. She absently wiped her pinky at the corner of her mouth, and stood up. "I, uh, should go check on Dana."

Alex watched the short blonde retreat down the hall before turning to Olivia. "Is there something different about her?"

"She's actually gotten some sleep since you saw her last, and she's not in uniform."

"That's it." Alex thought she looked pretty good in both her dress uniform and BDUs, even if she had been exhausted every time she'd see her. But she couldn't help notice how nicely her Levis accented her curves. Alex shook her head trying to get her hormones under control.

Olivia gave Alex an amused look as they both sat down on the couch. Brynn walked back in before Olivia could really tell her anything she knew of the woman. "She's sleeping sound."

"Great." Alex smiled. "I should have probably changed before I came over."

Brynn's mouth went dry noticing stocking covered legs sticking out from an above the knee gray skirt, soft skin over taunt muscles. She hadn't dated much since Kerri, and hadn't dated at all in the last year. Working her way up in the ranks had kept her busy, and the promotion to CMO had definitely added to the stress of work. She realized she was staring, and it seemed Alex and Olivia were waiting on something from her.

"I'm sorry, I was uh, thinking about something at the lab." The funny thing was, as attracted as she was to Alex there was someone else who she normally found equally as stunning.

"We just asked if pizza would be ok for dinner tonight?" Olivia raised her eyebrows. Alex seemed to be oblivious to the attention Brynn had been paying her.

"Pizza is fine with me. I'm not sure Dana will eat it though." Brynn picked up the Ensure that still sat on the coffee table and frowned. "I don't know what I am going to do with her."

Alex smiled at the concern on the doctor's face.

"Pizza is fine." Dana's voice floated out from the middle of the hallway, where she was leaning against the wall.

Brynn put the glass back down and went to help her into the living room. Alex and Olivia moved so she could get comfortable on the couch. "You're looking much better than when I last saw you."

"Would you tell the good doctor that?" Dana smiled as she wrapped her tiny arms around Alex's shoulders to return the hug she was getting. "She thinks she can pull rank on me."

Brynn cleared her throat. "We did both graduate with honors."

"Top of our class." Dana grinned and patted the couch for Olivia and Alex to sit back down. She wasn't one to boast, neither was Brynn, but when they got together they tried to out do each other in jest.

Brynn again picked the glass up. "You wasted a perfectly good glass of Ensure."

"Tell you what, you find a perfectly good glass of Ensure and I'll be sure to drink every last drop. Until then, good luck."

"Dana, you have to…"

"Eat, I know." She cut her off, annoyance shining through. "I'll eat pizza tonight."

"You don't want to end up back in the hospital. And you may look better than when Alex last saw you, but you still look like the crypt keepers wife."

"Well you know what they say about medical examiners."

"Yeah, they are supposed to look better than undertakers and corpses." Brynn rolled her eyes and disappeared to the kitchen while Alex called in the pizza order.

As promised Dana did eat, not quite to the satisfaction of Dr. Abernathy, but a slice of pizza was better than a couple bites of fried rice. She didn't understand why she'd been eating so much better in the hospital, unless it was a ploy to get out sooner. Knowing Dana that was quite possible. Just over six weeks in the hospital was enough to call for desperate measures.

Olivia called it an early night since she had to work the next day. She and Alex left together. Olivia hadn't slept in her own bed for so long she'd forgotten what it felt like, and Dana's skin was still sensitive from the toll her body had been through. So sleeping with her was out of the question. Brynn settled Dana in bed and then crashed on the twin Dana had put in the corner of her office.

* * *

A week passed and each day Dana's appetite was getting a little better, and she was getting stronger. At least moving around inside the apartment was no trouble at all. Her physical therapist was pleased with the progress she was making. All in all things were good, except Dana was bored out of her mind.

"Why won't you release me to do autopsies for half a day?" She looked at Brynn who had her nose in some medical text on virology.

"Because, you don't have the strength to stand at an autopsy table. You need to give it time Dana."

Dana slammed her empty glass down on the coffee table.

"See that wasn't so bad was it?"  
"I don't see you drinking the crap." Dana stood up. "I'm going to my office to make some phone calls."

Brynn nodded and went back to reading.

"Cabot."

"Alex, it's Dana." She grinned at her brilliant plan. "I need you to do me a favor, if you would?"

"Sure, just name it."

"Take Brynn out."

"Out as in?"  
"Out. You know dinner, a movie, a tour of New York? She's my best friend and I love her dearly, but I need some alone time with Olivia."

"Oh, I see." Alex chuckled.

"No." Her eyebrows knitted together, even if the expression was lost on an empty room. "Get your mind out of the gutter."

"Ok, when?"

"Tonight?"

Alex looked down at her watch. "That would work, I was going to head out in a few more minutes anyway. Call it an early night."

"Good, give me ten minutes and call back." Dana hung up and went back to the living room.

"Did you get your calls made?"

"No one was home." Dana shrugged. Of course she hadn't called anyone's home either. She smiled inwardly.

When the phone rang eight minutes later she picked up the cordless. "Scully."

"Hey, it's me." Alex took a deep breath. "Is she interested in women?"

Dana smiled. "She's right here, hold on."

"Who is it?" Brynn asked.

Dana shrugged her shoulders, but had a grin that would put the Cheshire cat to shame.

"What are you up to?" Brynn narrowed her gaze on her friend as she put the phone up to her ear. "Hello?"  
"Hi Brynn, it's Alex. I was thinking you might need a break. You know, get out of the apartment for a while. I know how annoying Dana can be." She laughed lightly at her joke. "Anyway I was wondering if maybe you wanted to grab a bite to eat and see the city?"

Brynn looked at Dana for a minute. "I, uh, yeah I could use the break."

"Good, I'll pick you up at six. Dress casual."

"What are you up to?" Brynn asked again as she turned the phone off.

"Why do I have to be up to something?" Dana couldn't stop grinning despite the fact her cheeks were starting to hurt.

* * *

Alex was five minutes early and dressed in a pair of Levis that hung loosely at her hips and a red-cropped shirt. The shirt was modest, but Brynn knew if Alex lifted her arms she could see the ivory skin that covered her abdomen. She tried not to stare. Alex was equally impressed with Brynn's choice of attire. She was wearing a pair of khakis and a black v-neck T. When Brynn turned to remind Dana to drink her ensure, Alex admired the way those khakis hugged her perfect ass. Of course she hadn't been the only one admiring the view.

"Are you ok?" Brynn asked a second time, the concern becoming more evident to everyone in the room.

Alex hadn't even noticed the smaller woman had turned back around. She swallowed hard. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Brynn stepped forward reaching a hand up to feel the woman's forehead.

Alex stepped back avoiding the contact, knowing she would feel feverish from the thoughts she'd just had. She smiled reassuringly. "I'm fine, let's go."

Brynn gave her a funny look. Maybe tonight was just a ploy to get her out of Dana's hair for a few hours after all. Even though Dana said she had nothing to do with the night out, Brynn was beginning to think she had everything to do with it. She was also beginning to think Dana was severely off in her matchmaking skills. There was definitely no way this beautiful blonde would be interested in a shy but confident Army Medical Doctor. While Brynn found her completely attractive, she really knew very little about her personality.

Alex was surprised at how quiet Brynn was when Dana wasn't around. Not that she had ever shared much about herself even when Dana was around. The smaller blonde was definitely at home in her element, medicine and the Army. Maybe it was the professional façade. When it came to personal interaction, she was quiet and reserved.

On Olivia's suggestion, Alex was taking Brynn to Joe's Bar and Grill. How ironic that it was the same place Olivia and Dana had gone on their first "date." Alex couldn't help but think it was too bad Brynn was straight. She was straight right? Of course, otherwise Dana would have answered Alex's question on the phone earlier.

"Here we are." Alex broke the silence in the cab.

Brynn nodded and opened the door when the cab came to a stop. It reminded her of this little joint they would visit when she was in boot camp. Except this place wasn't nearly as smoky or as rough. They found an empty booth in the back, and perused the menu. "What do you suggest?"

"Joe makes the best cheese steak subs this side of Philly." Alex pointed out.

"Sounds good." Brynn smiled.

The waitress took their orders and they talked a little about Alex's job while they waited for their food to arrive. Brynn was impressed with the steak subs, and mentioned they were even better than the ones she'd had in Philly.

"So," Alex asked as she finished her meal. "Where all have you been?"

"Anywhere and everywhere." Brynn couldn't finish everything on her plate and pushed it aside.

"And you talk about Dana needing to eat." Alex teased lightly, wondering why she felt so at ease around this woman she barely knew.

"I wouldn't even expect Dana to eat half of what I did tonight." Brynn took a sip of her root beer. "I've been to South America, and Africa mainly on medical retrieval missions. Primarily classified stuff. I spent nine months in the gulf during Dessert Storm, even got some combat hours under my belt. The front line was like nothing I'd ever dreamed about. It's hard to have to shoot at people. It goes against the Hippocratic oath. First do no harm. Unfortunately Dana and I have talked, and there are times you have to do what you have to do."

Brynn sighed, and decided she had really shared too of her sensitive side for one night. "I've been stationed in England, Italy, Texas, California, and I've been at USRMIID in Maryland for the last four years. And that's not counting all the places I lived as a kid. Dana and I actually knew each other in kindergarten. Her dad and my dad were stationed together for about a year before my dad was transferred."

"Sounds like a lot of fun. I've been in Connecticut and New York my entire life. Kind of boring."

"I don't know. I've met a lot of people over the years, but I've made very few close and long lasting relationships. Dana is one of my closest and longest standing friends. So there are definitely drawbacks to military life."

"I'm sure." Alex nodded, as she pulled her wallet out of her purse. Brynn followed suit pulling out a fifty-dollar bill. "I've got it."

"I can't let you pay for dinner."

"Yes you can. Consider it my thank you for taking such good care of Dana." Alex smiled.

"I'm just doing my job." Brynn blushed.

"Spending your leave to take care of her, is above and beyond the call of duty."

"Well, Dana deserves the best."

There was something about her tone that threw Alex off for a second. "Well, if you feel obligated, you can leave a tip."

Brynn tossed the bill down on the table.

"Somebody's going to be happy tonight." Alex commented before they walked out. She was few steps behind Brynn and couldn't help but stare. She normally had better control of her thoughts and wandering eyes, but there was something about that body.

Outside she looked at Brynn's face, which at the moment held a look of deep concern. "Alex, you really don't look well."

Alex's face was flushed and turned even redder at Brynn's comment. She couldn't move fast enough to avoid her hand this time. Brynn reached up and touched her forehead, a frown pulling at her lips. As Alex paled, Brynn moved her hand to Alex's arm and lead her to a bench right outside Joe's bar.

Alex sat down and argued weakly. "I'm fine."

"Sure you are." Brynn shook her head.

Alex was all too aware of Brynn's hand still resting on her forearm. As nice as the touch felt, she couldn't keep her mind from flashing back to the night she'd found Olivia drunk off her rocker.

"I think we should get you home." Brynn broke into her thoughts.

"I'm honestly fine." Although her thoughts of Olivia were making her extremely nauseated. It wasn't that she didn't love Olivia, but that she didn't want to hurt either her or Dana.

Brynn felt her forehead again with her free hand. "You feel a little warm, but not really feverish. I still think we should get you home. You need to rest. I know you've been pulling some long hours."

Alex sighed. She knew there was no arguing with the doctor. Besides she was already standing at the curb hailing a cab. When one pulled up Brynn grabbed Alex's hand, pulled her to her feet, and directed her to the open door. Alex gave the driver her address and they were soon standing in front of Alex's door.

Alex dropped the keys for a second time, and Brynn picked them up. She found the key Alex had been trying to put in the door and realized it wasn't the right key. She looked for another key that would fit, and was rewarded when she picked the only other key that could have gone into such a lock.

Alex blushed as she realized what she had done. "Office key."

"See I knew you were working too hard." Brynn followed her into the apartment.

"Uh, sure." Alex mumbled.

"Do you need anything?"

"You're leaving?" Alex didn't hide her disappointment.

"You need to rest. If you haven't picked up something, then you're working too hard."

* * *

Brynn used the key Dana had given her to let herself in to the apartment. Olivia and Dana were sitting on the couch watching "Finding Nemo." Dana was cuddled between Olivia's legs and leaning back into her chest. It was the most contact the two women had had in almost two months.

"You're back early." Dana looked behind Brynn. "Where's Alex?"

"I took her home, she wasn't feeling good."

"Is she okay?" Olivia stopped the movie.

"She's more than ok." Brynn stated without thinking.

"So you both had fun?" Dana asked.

"You are in serious trouble young lady." Brynn put her hands on her hips. She was joking until she saw the almost full glass of ensure on the coffee table.

"What?" Dana looked at the glass. "Olivia fixed hamburgers tonight, and I'm full."

"She did eat a whole one, and some Doritos on the side." Olivia defended.

Brynn nodded, her eyes narrowing on Dana again. "You're still in trouble."

"Oh, you had fun." Dana chuckled. "I can tell."

"Yeah I did."

"So when's the next date?" Olivia asked.

"I knew you were up to something, Yentil. There isn't one scheduled."

"Olivia's taking off early tomorrow afternoon to take me to PT, so you can have the afternoon to yourself."

"Ok. You two enjoy your movie, I'm going to call it a night."

"You don't want to join us?" Olivia offered.

"Nope. Saw it. Dr. Tate's little girls made me go with them to see it on the big screen. It's cute."

"See you in the morning." Dana watched her walk down the hall. "What do you think happened?"

"I think we misread the signals." Olivia shrugged.

* * *

The following week Dana managed to talk Olivia into taking her to PT again. She had just finished her session with the physical therapist, who was now talking to Olivia. She stared off at the far wall, which had been turned into a climbing wall. She loved rock climbing, and often found herself staring at it and day dreaming while working through the exercises she was given. She glanced at Olivia and the muscular chunk of meat standing next to her. They were deep in conversation.

Dana stood up and quietly moved away, keeping an eye on the two. By the time Mike turned around and spotted Dana she was already five feet up the wall. He ran to stop her, but she moved up another three feet and out of his grasp before her could reach her.

"What are you doing?" Olivia couldn't believe how hardheaded Dana could be.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" She threw over her shoulder.

"Like you're trying to kill yourself." Mike answered as she pulled herself a little higher.

"I'm climbing a wall." Or she was. Suddenly the adrenalin rush, which had propelled her thus far, left her body. She didn't have the strength to climb any further in either direction. She flattened herself against the wall and held on tightly, realizing just how stupid she had been. Not that she would ever admit it. A few more seconds passed before all the muscles in her body began to tremble from fatigue. She held on for a few more seconds. "Shit!"

Mike saw her falling and braced himself. He knew she wouldn't make it and he would have to catch her. It was either that or risk her landing on the mat below and fracturing something. Of course if she landed on her head, she wouldn't hurt anything. He caught her and quickly his frown melted into a smile.

"My knight." She said weakly.

"What did you think you were doing?" Dr. Abernathy lit into her when they walked in the door.

Dana tilted her head to the side, trying to figure out how she knew.

"Mike called."

"Look, I've already gotten the Olivia Benson lecture. I don't need Colonel Abernathy or Doctor Abernathy chewing on my ass."

"Well too bad." Brynn helped Olivia move Dana to the couch. "Do you realize that pushing your body like this is only going to cause you to take a giant step backwards?"

"I didn't sleep through med school."

"You sure as hell could have fooled me." Brynn paced the floor in front of the coffee table. "You know better than to push your body, but worse than that, you know not to climb with out a harness. What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that if I stopped long enough to harness I wouldn't be able to climb."

"What has gotten into you?" Brynn asked, dropping into the chair.

"I'm tired of feeling so helpless and weak. It's like I'm not getting any better." Dana started crying, and Olivia put her arms around her pulling her close.

"You are making progress Dana." Brynn tried to calm her own emotions. "I told you it was going to take time. And you know you can't push yourself."

"I'm not pushing myself." But she was, she knew it. Olivia knew it. And Brynn knew it.

"You haven't eaten today." Brynn stood up.

"I'm not hungry." Dana extracted herself from Olivia's arms.

"You need to eat, if you're going to get better."

"Damn it!" Dana kicked the coffee table sending it on to its side, causing Olivia to jump at the outburst. "Don't you get it? I've done everything I'm supposed to be doing and I'm not getting better."

"Time, it takes time."

"No!" Dana's nostrils flared. "For the past two weeks I've been at a stand still. Mike won't admit it to me, but I haven't shown any improvement for the past week and a half if not longer."

"That's not true." But that was one of the things Mike had told her on the phone today.

"I can't work. I'm tired of being a freaking invalid. Maybe I'd be better off if I hadn't survived."

"Dana Katherine Scully, I don't ever want to hear you say that again." Brynn reprimanded her the way she would have an insubordinate solider under her watch.

Olivia walked out. She couldn't deal with it any longer. Dana needed her support, but she just couldn't watch her hurt any more today. She could handle the physical pain Dana had been through, but she couldn't handle her emotional pain. It was something she couldn't fix, and she felt helpless herself.

Brynn picked up the phone and dialed Alex's direct office number from memory.

"Cabot."

"Alex, it's Brynn. I need to cancel dinner for tonight." They had decided to give it another shot, and had been enjoying each other's company even if nothing else was brewing.

"Is something wrong?"

"Olivia could probably use a night out with you. Problem is I don't know if she went home or what?"

"I'll find her." Alex knew she would be easy to track down. She'd probably gone back to the precinct. "Is Dana ok?"

"She could use a swift kick in the ass, and a lot of TLC." Brynn looked at her friend, or the shell of her friend and shook her head sadly. "I'll call you tomorrow."

Dana was trying to stand up as Brynn put the phone down. "Where are you going?"

"To find something to drink." Dana grumbled.

"What do you want?"

"Something hard." She fell back onto the couch.

"The hardest thing you've got is grape juice."

"Well that just isn't going to cut it." She pushed herself off the couch with more determination this time.

"And just where do you think you're going?" Brynn bellowed before she noticed how white her friend had suddenly become.

Dana dropped to her knees instinctively placing her head between her knees. Her vision had darkened but she didn't lose consciousness. "Major head rush."

"What am I going to do with you?" Brynn put a comforting hand on her back.

* * *

"I'm the worst friend in the world." Olivia cried after Alex had pulled away from her lips.

Neither one of them had meant for it to happen. Alex felt devastated. She remembered how betrayed she had felt when she found Abbie and Jack making out. And here she had just kissed her good friend's girlfriend. It didn't matter that said girlfriend was also her best friend.

"We can't do this." Alex pointed out.

"Alex?"

"Yes?"

"I love her, and I would do anything in the world for her… but…"

* * *

"Olivia, we need to talk." Dana patted the empty spot on the couch. Brynn had gone to bed when she thought Dana was out for the night.

"I know." Olivia had come over after she left Alex's hoping to see Dana.

"I don't know how to say this." Dana looked down at her hands in her lap. She couldn't say it. She couldn't hurt Olivia like that.

Olivia repeated the words she had spoken with Alex earlier. "Dana, I love you. I would do absolutely anything for you. But…"

"You're breaking up with me?" Dana looked into her eyes, seeing the immense sadness there. "Don't cry Liv."

Olivia was surprised at how well Dana was taking the news, when it struck her what Dana was trying to say to her. "You were going to break up with me?"

Dana nodded. "I love you Olivia. I always will."

"Mulder?" Olivia asked, almost afraid to know the answer.

Dana laughed softly. "No. Alex?"

Olivia nodded. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be." Dana smiled. "The three of us will always be friends, right?"

"I hope so." Olivia hugged Dana. "If you don't break down and kill yourself first."

"I didn't mean to upset you today. It just gets too hard to deal with sometimes. I wish you hadn't been here when I said that."

"So you don't wish you hadn't said it?"

"No." Dana shrugged. "It's how I felt at the time. I just wish you hadn't had to witness it."

"Brynn?"

"We've known each other forever. And I don't know."

"We really do suck at match making you know."

"I don't." Dana smiled. "I put you and Alex together after I died."

"No more talking about dying. Please."

"So is this a mutual break up then?" Dana switched back to the subject at hand.

"I think it is." Olivia kissed her cheek. "Things aren't going to be awkward between us, are they?"

"We are women, of course not. We can be friends with out thinking about how great the sex was."

"The sex was great, wasn't it?"

"When we actually got that far, yeah it was." Dana laughed. "You and Alex are meant to be together."

"And you and Brynn?"

"She's going back to Fort Detrick next week."

"And you're?"

"Staying here. As long as Cragen still wants me on the team, I'm here for the duration."

* * *

Dana stumble out into the living room to find Brynn curled up on the couch with yet another medical text. "Don't you ever get tired of reading that stuff?"

"Do you?" Brynn had noticed the only casual reading Dana had, was the copy of "Moby Dick" given to her years earlier by her father.

Dana shrugged and sat down in the chair. "Olivia and I broke up last night."

"You sure you didn't dream it?"

"No, I wasn't asleep."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"I'm not. It was mutual." Dana watched Brynn stand up.

"That's good. What do you want for breakfast?"

"Nothing." Dana looked away not wanting to see her expression.

"You have to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"You didn't eat at all yesterday."

Dana shrugged.

"Dana?"

"Don't even go there." Dana knew exactly what the beautiful blonde was going to ask.

"I have to." Brynn was concerned about her friend. She had a tendency to forget to eat when she was busy. In school she had been so busy studying for an anatomy and physiology exam that she'd forgotten to eat for a week. She collapsed half way through the exam. What worried Brynn now, was that she wasn't forgetting to eat; she was refusing to do so.

"If you know what's best for our friendship, you won't ask." Dana warned.

"Then you'll eat." Brynn counterattacked.

"And if I don't?"

"You don't want to get on the wrong side of Dr. Abernathy."

"Brynn?" Suddenly Dana voice was small and childlike.

"Yes?" Brynn's voice dropped a few octaves.

"Do you hate me?"

"What ever gave you that impression?" Brynn crossed the floor and perched herself on the armrest beside Dana.

Dana shrugged. "Would you hate me?"

"If?"

"I told you I can't do this?"

"I'm not sure I follow?" The conversation in questions was getting confusing.

"You got mad at me yesterday when I said I thought I would be better off dead."

"Yes. Because I care about you, and it's not true."

"What if I don't get better? What if this has taken such a toll on my body that I can't recover?"

"Then we deal with it."

"We?" Dana looked up into those deep emerald pools and felt herself falling.

"Yes, we."

"You're going back to Fort Detrick next week."

"Not if you don't want me to." Brynn responded quietly.

"What?"

"I shouldn't say this." Brynn looked down as Dana took her left hand into hers intertwining their fingers. "I only loved Kerri, because I couldn't be with the person I really loved."

"Me?"

"Yes. That's why it breaks my heart to hear you talk about dying and not fighting this. You've gotten through so much more than this. You've beat cancer twice now. You can't just give up. I don't believe you're anorexic. I think you're more depressed than anyone has ever seen you. But Dana passive suicide isn't the answer."

"Is that what this is?" She smiled lightly.

"We will get through this."

"You have to go back to work."

"We'll work around it. I'll quit if I have to."

"You can't quit."

"I'm one of the world's leading virologists, I can do whatever I damn well please." Brynn squeezed Dana's hand.

"Lieutenant Colonel Doctor Abernathy didn't get to where she is now by quitting."

"And neither did Agent Dana Scully, world's leading slice 'em and dice 'em doc."

"No, I guess not." She laughed lightly. Brynn had called her that since she joined the FBI.

"Look, you can come back to Maryland with me for a few weeks if you want. Visit with your mom in Virginia. Mulder, if you have to. And we can see where things go. I could even put in for a transfer to NY, maybe even work out of the NY CDC office?"

"Maybe." Dana smiled for the first time that morning.

"Now will you eat?"

"Uh uh." Dana shook her head, putting her right hand behind Brynn's neck and pulling her forward until their lips met. She kissed her softly at first then snaked her tongue across closed lips begging for entrance. The second time her tongue slipped out it was right into parted lips. She relished the velvet warmness that was Brynn's mouth, before pulling away. "I've always wanted to do that."

"You have?" Brynn's expression was somewhere between shocked and amused.

"Well, at least since kindergarten." Dana grinned. "Now let's find something to eat."

* * *

Dana spent the rest of the day pulling strings and calling in favors. One included the use of her Uncle's beach house. When she arranged everything she called Olivia and Alex and invited them for dinner.

They ordered out Thai food, and enjoyed a friendly meal. Dana picked at her plate, trying to give it a decent effort. Then she raised her glass of grape juice, since Brynn refused to let her have anything stronger the way her mood had been recently. "To good friends."

"Hear hear." They clinked glasses together.

"I've got a few announcements. First one is, I'm going back to Maryland with Brynn for a few weeks."

"But…"

"Don't worry you and Alex won't miss me."

"Hey no self loathing." Alex gave Dana a warning look.

"I'm not self loathing." Dana gave her a mischievous grin. "As of next Monday you are both off for a week of relaxing. My uncle has agreed to let you both stay at the his beach house."

"What?" Olivia asked.

"Why?" Alex echoed the sentiment.

"Because you can, and because it's already arranged." Dana pushed her rice noodles around her plate for a second. "It's my way of saying thanks for being such great friends. And a way for you two to have some much needed alone time."


	8. Beach House

A/N: Quinn's Island is a real beach house that sits on the Kitty Hawk border. It is owned by my uncle and named after his wife and the island in VA that my other uncle lives on. All the descriptions in the story re the condo and its location are accurate.

A/N 2: That was in 2004 and since then the house has changed ownership and names but still looks the same from the outside atleast.

* * *

Beach House

Dana was right, the beach house was easy to find. The "Welcome To Kitty Hawk" sign was practically in the front yard. It was a two-story pale yellow house sitting on top of a two-car garage giving it a three-story appearance from the outside. It had a two-story deck that ran the length of the house and looked out on the beach. There were three things between the house and the Atlantic Ocean: the two lane street; a little one-story cottage on stilts; and during high tide, about five feet of beach, unless the weather was bad, then there was no sand between the ocean and the house across the street.

Alex stood outside her silver Volvo stretching her back and inhaling the salty air. The long drive had been worth it, and she was grateful Brynn offered them a place to crash on the way down as well as on their trip home. Olivia closed her eyes taking in the sites and sounds around her. The sound of the roaring ocean was music to Olivia's ears. She was so enthralled in the waves crashing to shore; she didn't hear Alex walk up behind her.

The lithe blonde wrapped her arms around her waist, and placed a light kiss on Olivia's neck. "Shall we check out the accommodations?"

Olivia opened her eyes and smiled. She really had wished Dana and Brynn would have come, but she was also ready to enjoy a week getting to know the intimate side of Alex. Olivia held up the key. "Sure."

They let themselves in through the side door that opened up to a stairway and another door leading to the garage. As promised the garage housed a pool table, small fridge, a basketball game like you might find in a tucked away arcade, and a small sound system. Alex closed the door as Olivia began to lead the way up to the next level. It housed three bedrooms and a laundry room. One of the bedrooms facing the ocean had a queen size bed with its own bathroom; the other had two twin beds. At the end of the hall separating the bedrooms was a door leading out to the lower deck. Closer to the stairwell was another bedroom connected to the one with twin beds by a full bath. This bedroom consisted of four bunk beds. Across the hall was the laundry room, and at this end of the hallway was another door leading out to a wooden landing and stairs leading to the back patio complete with pool and hot tub.

Alex led the way up to the top level where they checked out the master suite off to the right that contained a king size bed and bathroom accessible from either the hallway or the bedroom. To the left of the stairwell was an open kitchen, dining room and living room complete with a gas fireplace. Above the fireplace was a large TV/DVD combo. The wall to the dining room and living room was lined with large glass doors leading out to the upper level of the deck. The view from the windows was spectacular. Half the deck was covered and screened in, for storm-watching and protection against the pesky mosquitoes that came from the cape at night.

"It's really too bad the whole squad can't take vacation at the same time. This place would be perfect." Olivia mused aloud. It was really strange to have the entire house to them selves.

"And I am sure Dana's uncle would never let any of us near this place again, once the guys got through here."

"Oh, they aren't that bad, Alex."

"Get a few drinks under their belts and they might surprise you." Alex pulled Olivia into her arms, so her back was leaning against her chest. "Are you hungry?"

Olivia nodded, not really wanting to bring in the food from the car and have to then prepare it. Luckily Dana had given them a list of good places to eat and sight see while they were there. Olivia suggested they unpack the perishables and then go to Vans.

The car completely unpacked, and everything put away thanks to the perfectionist in Alex, they headed down the strip in search of Vans, which was easily found. Olivia ordered the Carolina BBQ platter and Alex ordered shrimp. She wasn't going to spend the week on the beach and not get her fill of fresh seafood. Olivia would just have to suffer. By the time they finished eating the moon was already making it's nightly appearance. Alex drove the three-minute trip back, and when they got out of the car Olivia pulled her across the street. It was pretty quiet on that area of the beach, especially for August. Dana had promised them another trip in the fall when things would be all but dead around there.

They walked along the surf with shoes in hand, for about twenty minutes before deciding they should head back. Along the way they passed several small groups of teenagers and a few lovebirds. Of course the only difference between them and the lovers they passed was that they were both women.

Alex led Olivia into the back of the house, which was surround nicely with a privacy fence. She had snuck out and turned the whirlpool on while they were unpacking, so it was nice and warm. "At least let me get my bathing suit on."

Alex rinsed the sand off her feet with the hose, and frowned at Olivia. "No one's going to see you but me."

"That's the point." Olivia smiled. She couldn't believe she was apprehensive about Alex seeing her naked. It was like being back in high school and not wanting to undress in front of a locker room full of girls.

"Fine, I'll close my eyes until you are in the tub." Alex covered her eyes with her hand.

Olivia smiled and removed her pants. Alex, of course, was sneaking glances, and when Olivia had stripped down to her underwear the blonde reached out and undid her bra. "I thought you weren't going to look."

"How could I not, Liv?" She removed the other woman's bra, freeing her breasts. "You are so beautiful, and the moonlight…Damn."

Olivia felt her cheeks blush. "How come I'm the only one standing here in my underwear?"

"Touché." Alex smiled and started to undress. Olivia quickly slid off her panties and hopped into the hot tub.

Alex was swift to follow, laying her body along the opposite side of the tub so she could see the woman she had longed to be with. "Have I ever told you, you're beautiful?"

"About five minutes ago." Olivia grinned, admiring the way the moonlight glinted off Alex's golden hair. "And you my dear Alex, are just stunning."

Alex blushed. It was funny how comfortable she felt around Olivia. She had never been this carefree or open with Abbie. She shuddered at the thought of her fallen friend.

Olivia caught the gesture and sat forward. "Abbie?"

"Yeah." Alex replied thoughtfully. "I was just reflecting on how much more at ease I am around you, and we haven't even…"

"Made love." Olivia finished the statement for her.

"Yeah." Alex reached across the tub finding Olivia's hand and pulling it to her lips. She placed small kisses on each of her knuckles.

Olivia eyed the pool curiously, no longer caring that she was in the buff. "You ready to join the polar bear club?"

"Are you crazy?" Alex followed her gaze. "That water is at least thirty degrees cooler than this."

"I know." Olivia grinned. "I dare you."

"Only if you do."

"Last one in is a rotten egg." Olivia scrambled over the edge of the hot tub and did a cannon ball into the water. Alex wasn't far behind and they both came up gasping for air, the temperature change shocking both their bodies.

"That was refreshing." Olivia climbed out of the pool, deciding she didn't want to look any more like a prune then she already did. Alex followed, but not before taking it the sight of erect nipples.

Olivia knew she was staring, and just to be mean pulled her t-shirt back over her head.

"No fair."

"Yeah, well I don't want to catch pneumonia." Olivia laughed, looking at Alex's breasts.

"You can't catch pneumonia from cold exposure."

"And who made you the leading authority on pneumonia?" Olivia joked.

"Dana did." Alex picked up her clothes and pulled Olivia up the stairs and into the house. They made their way to the master suite where they both put on nightgowns and headed out to the living room.

Alex pulled out a bag of marshmallows from the cabinet, and went to get the fire started. There was a cool breeze blowing off the water, and she thought the fire was appropriate. Not to mention she was famished from the forty-minute walk on the beach and the short romp in the pool.

Olivia joined her, and sat on the floor in front of the fireplace, both of them ignoring the perfectly good couch and love seat. Olivia untwisted the wire hangers she had brought, so they could roast their marshmallows. They decided later that next time they would have all the makings for s'mores.

They sat in front of the fire talking until well after midnight. Olivia moved away from Alex who had been cuddled against her chest. She put the fire out and dragged the other woman to bed. Tired from the long drive and fresh air, they fell asleep in each other's arms.

Ring…

Ring…

Olivia looked around half asleep for the offending noise. She found the phone on the nightstand and picked it up. "'Ello."

"Did I wake you up?"

Olivia mumbled something that sounded like, "Uh huh."

"Sorry, I figured you two would be up and out by eleven." Dana apologized.

"We were getting there." Olivia looked over at the set of blue eyes that were watching her. "How long have you been awake?"

Dana didn't answer knowing she wasn't talking to her.

"An hour, I was watching you sleep." Alex hooked the phone out of Olivia's grasp. "Hey Dana, how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine."

"You're always fine. How about the truth?"

"I was just calling to make sure you two made it there ok?"

"We did. It's beautiful, and I don't know how we can ever thank you for this."

"No thanks needed. This is my way of thanking you two, remember?"

"That's what friends are for. You didn't need to do all this."

"Yes, I did." Dana insisted it was no big deal. "I'll let you go so the two of you can get started on your day."

"Thanks Dana. You take it easy and take care of yourself."

"I always do."

"Yeah right, doctor." Alex laughed before saying goodbye and disconnecting the call.

After a day of lighthouse hopping they returned to the beach house. Alex offered to make dinner, while Olivia took a shower. Olivia should have known better then to try and shower with Alex in the house. She had just gotten the water adjusted and turned her back to the flow, when the spray was interrupted. Before she could protest a warm soapy rag was lathering her back. "I thought you were making salads."

"Eh." Alex grunted lightly. "I had all this salt from the air on my skin, and then I couldn't get my mind off how beautiful your wet body was last night. So I had to come and help."

"I thought we agreed to take things slow." Olivia turned to face Alex. "It was your idea after all."

"We're taking a shower, not screwing each others brains out." Alex stated matter of factly for the detective. "I'm completely innocent."

"And I'm the President of the United States."

"Well, Ms. President, it's very nice to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine." Olivia mock curtsied.

"It could be all yours." Alex had that glint in her eye.

"We promised. Not this week."

"Can I at least give you a kiss?"

Olivia offered Alex her cheek. After the other woman had planted a small kiss, Olivia wrestled the rag from her. "Now hands off."  
"You're no fun."

"You won't be saying that a month from now." Olivia finished scrubbing the brine from her skin.

"I have to wait that long?" Alex pouted.

Olivia shook her head as she moved Alex out of the way so she could rinse off. "I'm going to go finish the salads while you clean yourself."

"What, you're not even going to clean my back."

"Nope." Olivia grinned and stepped out of the shower.

"You're a pool shark!" Alex accused as she lost her third game of the night.

"I haven't played pool since I was in high school." Or maybe it had been college. Olivia shrugged.

"You're still a shark. I would have never agreed to the bet if I'd known."

"Well, I'll help you pack up at the end of the week. I can't have you breaking a nail or anything." Olivia grinned.

"Just for that you're sleeping alone tonight."

"And where are you sleeping?"

"On one of the top bunks just so you can't climb in with me." Alex stuck her tongue out playfully.

"Fine see if I share my s'mores with you." Olivia continued the banter.

"We don't have the makings for s'mores."

"Shows how much you know." Olivia pulled out the bag of goodies she'd picked up at the grocery store when Alex was looking at souvenirs.

"That's not fair."

"All you have to do is sleep with me tonight."

Alex grinned like the Cheshire cat. "See I knew you couldn't hold out on me for a week."

"I said…"

"You said sleep with you."

"Yes, and what part of sleep with me translates into screw me senseless?"

"All of it?" Alex asked hopefully.

Olivia shook her head. "Do you ever not think about sex?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"When I'm at work."

"That's not true."

"Ok, when I'm at work and you're not around. And definitely not when Liz walks into my office."

"Donnelly?" Olivia made a face.

"Precisely. She could dry up all the oceans on the earth."

Olivia laughed. "I'll keep that in mind."

Olivia woke up the next morning snuggled against Alex. The whole abstinence thing was going to kill her, but she and Alex agreed they would build this relationship on something more than mind-blowing sex. Thing was, Olivia was afraid her mind was going to blow if she didn't get sex.

"What are you thinking about?"

"You." Olivia whispered to the blonde in her arms.

"Really."

"Yup."

"What about me?"

"Just how cute you are when you're sleeping," Olivia observed.

"What time is it?"

"Eight, why?"

Alex hoped out of bed. "Because you're not the only one with surprises. Come on."

Olivia pulled on a robe and followed Alex past the kitchen and dinning area out onto the top deck. "Sit here, I'll be right back."

When Alex returned she had a plate of pastries, hot coffee and a pair of binoculars. Olivia had already spotted some porpoises playing out in the breakwater. Alex smiled at the sheer enjoyment on Olivia's face. She was glad Dana had told her about the morning visitors.

"I thought we weren't going to do this." Olivia was sitting in the hot tub with her back pressed against Alex's chest. The young blonde's thin fingers keep migrating lower.

"Do what?" Alex feigned innocence.

"This." Olivia pulled Alex's hand out of the water. "We need to get on the road."

"Just…"

"Please don't tempt me Alex." Olivia pleaded. "I want you so bad right now, but we promised Dana we'd be there at a decent hour tonight. We really need to go."

"Look at me." Alex pulled Olivia's chin around to her, her lips touching Olivia's tentatively. She pulled back for a second. "I've wanted to do this all week long."

Before Olivia could protest, Alex sucked her lower lip into her mouth. After a few second she pulled back, ignoring the ache in her body for more. "Ok, we can go now."

"Just a kiss?"

"Just a kiss." Alex smiled. "Remember, we are taking things slow."

* * *

Brynn's duplex was located about ten minutes from base, which made the commute easy for her. Something she had checked into before purchasing the piece of real estate. Dana had stayed with Brynn before when she was on downtime from the FBI. It was one of the few places she could get away from Mulder, on the rare occasions when she actually got to take her downtime.

It was her second night there, the first night Olivia and Alex had been there. Brynn was home by five-thirty and fixed spaghetti, garlic bread, and a tossed salad for dinner. Dana had argued with her that she shouldn't go through so much trouble for her. She had also ended the argument with, "If you think you are going to guilt me into eating more, you'd better think again."

After dinner they retired to the living room, both of them indulging in different medical texts. This is why they belonged together. Alex would never sit still while Brynn read medical journals. Dana figured while she couldn't be out on the street, or even hacking up dead bodies, she could at least catch up on her CMEs and backlog of medical journals. So she had packed them along with a couple full-blown texts on medical pathology, toxicology, and entomology. She attacked the toxicology text first.

Brynn went to bed at ten o'clock leaving Dana on the couch deep in her reading. She figured the red head would go to bed when she was ready. At two-thirty a startled cry from down stairs tore Brynn from her dreams. Her heart pounded in her chest as she rushed down the stairs to find Dana sitting on the couch, visibly shaken. "What's wrong?"

Brynn noticed the agent's firearm was still on the end table, so she knew it wasn't an intruder. "Bad dream."

"A really bad dream." Brynn commented, sitting beside her friend. "Want to talk about it?"

"No." Dana shook her head, as warm arms enveloped her.

Brynn was careful not to put too much pressure on Dana's still-sensitive skin. It wasn't as brittle as it had been, but it would still be a while before she wouldn't be tender to the touch. Brynn needn't remind her that if she would get the nutrients she needed, that time would be sooner rather than later. She could feel the tiny almost brittle bones that comprised Dana's rib cage under her arm. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Dana closed her eyes as Brynn ran her fingers through long red hair that so far was staying intact. Brynn was thankful for small miracles. "I'll be ok."

"You didn't make it to bed?"

"Fell asleep reading." Dana opened her eyes and looked at the book that had fallen to the floor.

"Maybe you shouldn't read before you go to bed." Brynn joked. "It'd keep you from dreaming about giant syringes and stuff."

"Hmmm? I wish my dreams were that cartoon-ish." Dana smiled lightly at the thought.

When she awoke later that morning, she had her head in Brynn's lap using it as a pillow. Her hand was resting on Brynn's knee. She felt familiar fingers brushing her hair behind her ear, and moved to sit up. How many times had she woken in the hospital to that same touch? She could count on one finger the number of times she hadn't.

"I'm so sorry Brynn, you should have made me move so you could go back to sleep."

"I slept here. No big deal." She looked at her watch. "But I do need to get a shower and get on base. What are you're plans today?"

"I thought I'd go over to Quantico." She answered sleepily.

"Very funny." Brynn cupped her chin with her hand, and gently pulled Dana's face so she was looking into those crystal blue eyes. "You'd better not even joke about going to Quantico until I give you the all clear. In fact I think I'll call the security gate and make sure they know not to let you on base."

"You wouldn't." Dana pulled her chin free from Brynn's soft hold.

"Only if you give me reason to. Besides I don't think you should be driving yet. You're still too weak."

"I know. I thought I'd hang out in the backyard, read, and work on my tan."

Brynn rolled her eyes. Now she knew Dana was just egging her on.

Dana actually made it to the guest room on the second floor the third night at Brynn's, but she didn't make it through the night without waking the other woman. Another nightmare ripped them both from their slumber. Brynn was at her beside in minutes, wearing an oversized t-shirt that hung just above mid-thigh. "You want to talk about it tonight?"

"No." Dana scooted over in the full bed giving Brynn room to climb in with her.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think this was just a ploy to get me in your bed." Brynn whispered as she wrapped her arms around the skeletal frame trembling beside her.

"I wouldn't have to have nightmares to get that." Dana mumbled against her friend's shoulder.

"No, Dana you wouldn't."

The next night, same routine around two-thirty Brynn came padding into the room. She had actually woken about five minutes before the screams sounded. "Maybe I should take you to headquarters tomorrow?"

"No." Dana shook her head. She didn't think talking to Karen would help. Besides even with patient confidentiality, she wasn't sure she wanted to share her sexuality with Karen. Dana wouldn't be able to share the contents of her nightmares without divulging more information about her recent relationships than she even wanted Karen knowing about. "Then talk to me about it."

"I can't." Dana shook her head and buried her body closer into the tiny woman sharing her bed.

She knew why she was having the nightmares. She just couldn't stop them. She couldn't convince herself that they weren't true, that they weren't visions of things to come. Even though she typically wasn't superstitious she was reminded of her sister Missy. She used to believe if you told someone about your dreams before you ate breakfast, they would come to fruition.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Brynn held her a little closer as the shaking subsided. She hated that her closest friend was suffering so much, and add on top of it all, she couldn't sleep because of something haunting her dreams. "I can call in a prescription to help you sleep if want."

"I should take you up on it, just so you can get some sleep."

"No, if you don't want to take anything, don't. I'm fine. I'll hold you every night if I have to." Truth be told, the hours after Dana's nightmares were the ones in which Brynn slept the best. There was something about feeling her up against her body. She felt more at ease, safer. Brynn thought it was kind of funny, considering she was the one who was supposed to be comforting Dana.

The following night Brynn stood up to go to bed. "I'm going to retire, why don't we head tonight's nightmare off at the bend. Come to bed with me?"

"I can't." Dana didn't look up from her book.

"You can." Brynn closed the other woman's book and pulled her to her feet. "My bed is bigger, and I am inviting you."

Dana nodded her assent and followed Brynn to bed. After brushing her teeth she snuggled under the covers, and was surprised when Brynn stayed on her side of the bed. After the lights were cut out, Dana moved closer to the center of the bed. Reaching out, she took Brynn's hand in her own. Pulling lightly and not getting any resistance, she draped the unyielding arm over her.

They both woke up when Brynn's alarm went off in the morning. Dana's leg was draped over Brynn's thigh. Brynn's fingers were tangled in a nest of red hair. There were no bullets, no morgue tables, and no alien space ships stealing her three best friends in the night, just peaceful slumber. Brynn rolled over cutting the alarm off, and then she rolled back towards Dana and placed a delicate kiss on her forehead.

"I could get used to having a beautiful woman in my bed."

Dana blushed.

"I'm sorry." Brynn shook her head. Fear and uncertainty flashed in her green eyes. "I shouldn't have… it was wrong of me to say that."

Dana reached up and raked her fingers through the short blonde fringe lying haphazardly on the back of Brynn's neck. She pulled her closer, "Shut up and kiss me doctor."

Supple lips met in a tentative kiss. When Brynn pulled away, Dana sighed in disappointment. "Why do you always make things so difficult?"

"I think you are the one who likes being difficult." Brynn teased, placing another kiss on Dana's lips. She flicked her tongue across her upper lip tasting Dana's skin before withdrawing. "I have to get ready for work."

"I know." Dana didn't hide her regret.

"We can finish this tonight."

"I don't know, doctor. Seems we both have to get in our respective reading."

"I think this once, we can forego the boring world of germs and butchery."

"You think?" Dana grinned.

"We'll see." Brynn smiled back at her. It was that smile that had Dana melting long before she would ever admit she was attracted to girls.

That evening at the dinner table Brynn watched Dana intently as she pushed what little food was on her plate around in circles. If she'd eaten two whole bites it was a miracle. Dana sat at the table while Brynn cleaned up the leftovers. When she was done she handed Dana a glass of brown Ensure.

Dana looked into the glass and made a face. Brynn put her hands on her hips. "Drink it."

"No." Dana shook her head.

"I'm not kissing you till you drink it." Brynn pointed at the ensure sitting in front of Dana.

"Sounds like your loss, not mine." Dana shrugged. "I'll just find someone else to kiss me."

"You need to drink it."

"Look, I'm tired of being doctored. Damn it!" Dana smacked the table with her palm.

Brynn was able to easily attribute her mood swings to her nutritional status, or lack there of.

"I'm a big girl I can take care of myself. And I'm not drinking that shit."

"Dana!" There was that alien-like green flash in Brynn's eyes again. Of course Dana wasn't afraid of that flash, even though anyone of sound mind should be. It was that exact flash that had Brynn's subordinates shaking in their boots, not to mention Mulder.

"It's not going to work, Brynn. I don't want to drink it."

"I had a feeling you were going to act like this." She pulled her medical bag up to the tabletop. Dana had wondered why she'd brought it into the kitchen. She wasn't going to have to wait any longer to find out. Brynn pulled out a clear sterile package with a tube inside it. Dana knew immediately what it was. "We can do this the easy way or the hard way."

"I'd like to see you try and drop that nasogastric tube down me." Dana folded her arms across her chest.

"I won't try, I'll get it down."

"I fight, you drop it in my lung. You feel really bad for putting me back in the hospital."

"Don't tempt me, Dana. Drink the damn Ensure."

"I knew you wouldn't do it." Dana pushed the glass away with her fingertips. She didn't let on that for a minute she had thought Brynn might actually…

Brynn pulled out a pair of gloves, and put them on. Dana pushed the glass another inch. Brynn opened the package with the NG tube in it. Dana pushed the glass yet another inch. Brynn lubricated the tip of the NG tube with surgilube. Dana stared at her, almost daring her to make another move. Brynn returned the challenge with her own look of intent. Dana put her fingers against the glass in an attempt to push it further away. Brynn stepped forward, her expression unyielding. Dana picked the glass up and took a gulp of the thick milky substance. "I'm not kissing you."

Brynn shrugged, not bothering to wipe the look of triumph off her face. "I'd rather have you alive and not kissing me, then dead."

Dana rolled her eyes as she took another drag of the chocolate flavored crap. "Yuck!"

"It's better than MREs."

"No way." Dana finished off the glass, making sure she still had a decent amount in her mouth she stood up and kissed Brynn full on the lips. After a little patient suggestion, Brynn opened her lips only to get a tongue covered in Ensure shoved into her mouth. Dana pulled back. "Looks like I got the last word in."

"Hmmm?" Brynn pushed her lips back against Dana's and devoured her mouth, breaking away only when her brain screamed for oxygen.

Unfortunately that was all the fun she could have for one night, not that she wasn't content just being around her friend. Dana was getting pale, which was the first sign she'd been standing to long. The other sign was the fatigue in her eyes. Evidently the fight she had put up earlier also served to extinguish her energy reserves. Something the blonde doctor didn't like seeing at all. "Maybe we should get you in bed?"

"It's only eight." Dana looked at her watch, and sighed.

"You haven't been sleeping well, even if you are catching naps in the afternoon." Brynn batted her eyelids. "I'll even let you sleep with me."

Dana nodded. She wasn't going to tell Brynn she'd woken up during her afternoon nap, having the dreams again.

The following morning Dana slid out from under Brynn's arms and down to the kitchen. When Brynn's alarm went off she frowned to find she was alone. It didn't take long for the aroma of coffee to filter upstairs and draw her down. She stood in the doorway silently for a few minutes, watching Dana putter around, the early morning rays of sun glinting off her hair.

Dana pulled out a can of Ensure from the fridge, and turned to see Brynn standing there with a big smile on her face. "I was just going to add it to your coffee."

"Sure." Brynn agreed sarcastically as Dana popped the tab and poured the can's contents into a glass. "Are Olivia and Alex staying tonight?"

"They are supposed to."

"Any clue when they'll be in?" Brynn grabbed a mug and poured herself a cup of coffee.

"I'll try and raise them at the beach house before they leave. If not I'll get Liv on her cell." Dana made sure Brynn could see how much she detested the Ensure she was drinking.

"Ok, I'll call around lunch time and see what the plans are." Brynn sat across from Dana at the table. "And stop making those faces. I didn't tell you, you had to drink that stuff this morning."

"Considering we both know I'd probably lose against you at hand to hand combat right now, and I really don't want that damn thing dropped," Dana looked at the NG tube laying on the counter top. "I figured I might as well try to comply. Besides, I don't like the way I felt this morning."

"How's that?" Now she really knew things were bad if Dana was drinking the Ensure on her own. Not to mention voicing her concerns about what was happening to her body.

"The easiest way to describe it… like crap."

"Could you be a little more specific?" Brynn took a sip of her coffee.

"Let's see, medically speaking I was tachycardic, short of breath, my muscles were spasming. It felt like each muscle fiber was contracting at a different time and in a different direction. Add to that I felt hypoglycemic, probably just shy of acidosis."

"More like, you are acidic. Let me take you in this morning and do some lab work." Brynn was concerned, and had every right to be.

"Why? My PO2 will be normal after I drink this, and my blood sugar will be back in a normal range."

"Protein levels, electrolytes. I want to make sure you're not staying in a state of acidosis. Speaking of which, have you voided yet?"

"No." Dana rolled her eyes.

"Good, I've got Keto-strips in my bag. Think you can go?"

"I'll give it my best shot."

"We can add dehydration to the list." Brynn handed her the bottle strips.

"You mean you're not going to go with me?"

"Do I need to?"

"No." Dana sighed, and headed off for the bathroom leaving the other half of her Ensure behind.

When she returned five minutes later she didn't look happy.

"Well?" Brynn asked impatiently.

"Three plus. And I don't need a lecture."

"You're right you don't. You need to be in a hospital Dana."

"Oh physician, heal thyself." Dana grinned.

"This isn't funny Dana." Brynn rinsed her coffee cup out.

"I didn't say it was."

"Then let me run the lab work." Brynn's eyes pleaded with her.

"No. I would rather die than go back in the hospital right now."

"You very well might get that wish, but it'll be over my dead body."

"Brynn, I'm going to be ok." Dana picked up her glass and chugged the remaining contents.

"I won't lose you Dana. I won't let you give up. And if that means I have to take you to the hospital kicking and screaming I will."

"Not today." Dana cleaned her glass. "Why are you going in today anyway? It's Saturday."

Brynn looked at her watch, and absently smacked her forehead. "I need to check some lab results, but I shouldn't be long. Please come with me, let me do a work up."

"If I'm not doing better by Monday."

"Promise?"

"You have my word." Dana kissed her lips lightly.

Brynn went in to work for a couple hours, checked on the specimens she had growing in the lab. She called Dana before she left and found out Olivia and Alex would be in around seven and would eat before they arrived. She then went by the grocery store and picked up some things she thought Dana might eat.

When she got home Dana was dozing on the couch. She walked over and brushed a stray lock of hair off her forehead. When Dana didn't stir she went to put the groceries away, before the ice cream melted completely. As she was putting the last few items up she heard a distressed call from the living room. "Noooo!"

"Dana?" Brynn was at her side in a moment.

The small redhead thrashed about on the couch, mumbling as tears streamed down her cheeks. She was still in the throws of sleep. Brynn jumped, and then cringed when she heard the panicked cry. "Olivia!"

It was followed by a confused, "Alex?"

Brynn didn't know whether to wake her friend or let her be, and Dana whimpered. "No, you can't leave me. Brynn? Brynn!"

Hearing her name being frantically yelled, Brynn knelt beside the couch, and brushed her fingers across Dana's forehead. "Hey, wake up. It's just a dream."

Dana's eyelids flew opened revealing a deep gripping fear. Brynn had never seen such an abundance of fear. And yet in her career she had seen people who knew they were dying. She had even watched the horror that plagued a colleagues face when his suit was breached in a hot zone, and he knew he would die from exposure to the Ebola virus. "It's ok, I'm here."

Dana's eyes fogged over, and she shoved her emotion deep into some hidden pocket in her chest.

"Want to talk about it?"

"No." Dana picked up the medical text and pretended to bury herself in it.

Brynn gave up on trying to have a conversation, and went to change out of her uniform. She pulled on a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. Three hours later she decided to fix dinner. "What do you want to eat?"

"I'm not hungry." Dana sighed and closed her book.

"And I suppose you didn't eat lunch either?" Brynn ventured a guess.

Dana neither confirmed nor denied the fact. Of course Brynn was pretty sure she was correct. She also knew there was no more Ensure missing from the fridge. "You have to eat something."

"What ever you're fixing will be fine, I'm sure."

"Fine." Brynn went into the kitchen and started slamming cabinets. Thirty minutes later she came out and handed Dana a plate with half a grilled chicken breast, glazed carrots, broccoli, and a roll.

Dana took a few bites of everything on her plate. It smelled wonderful, and she was sure under other circumstances it would have tasted even better. But right now she was nauseated. She sat the plate down as she saw a car pull into the driveway. "They're here."

She recognized Alex's Volvo, and went out on the porch to greet them. Olivia gasped as she looked up to see toothpicks sticking out of Dana's shorts. If it were possible, Dana looked even thinner than when they had left for the beach a week ago. Alex hugged her friend lightly, and then turned to talk to Brynn. They were fast becoming close.

Olivia pulled Dana into an embrace, and Dana kissed her check lightly. "Missed you."

"Me too." Olivia smiled. She was completely comfortable knowing there was nothing sexual in Dana's statement. She felt the redhead shivering in her arms. It definitely wasn't cold outside in the least, but looking at Dana's purple fingers Olivia thought it best they take the welcoming committee back inside.

They migrated to the dining room and sat around the table. Dana shifted uncomfortably several times in the hard wooden chairs. Her lack of fat padding her body made her all the more aware of the bones poking into her flesh. Brynn went to the refrigerator and started rummaging around, offering everyone something to drink. She pulled out a can of ensure for Dana, who stood up when she was unable to find a comfortable position. "I'm not drinking it."

"You barely ate anything for dinner Dana. You need the nutrition."

"I'm not going to drink it." She said with more force.

"How much weight have you lost in the past week?" Alex barely finished the question before she saw Dana's nostrils flare.

"That's none of your business."

"But it is mine." Brynn pulled a glass out of the cabinet before turning to face her. "How much?"

Dana glared at her for several seconds.

"As your doctor I need to know these things."

"Then I think I'm going to fire you as my doctor." Dana's voice lacked humor, but so had Brynn's.

"You're barely eating enough to keep a bird alive." Brynn stepped forward and stood beside her friend, casually checking a respiratory rate.

"Stop it." Dana stared daggers through the woman. She wasn't one of the FBI's leading forensic pathologists for nothing, even if she did work with spooky Mulder. She was called in to rein him in, to shut him down. It was thought her observation skills and her knack for solid science would bring him down. Those observation skills had taught her much over the years, one of those being how to tell when someone is observing you.

"What?" Brynn drew the word out slightly.

"Don't what me." Dana's eyes narrowed. "I'm not tachynpic!"

Brynn reached over while she was talking and pinched the skin on the back of her hand. "You respirations may not be elevated, but you are dehydrated."

Dana looked down at the tented skin where she had been pinched. It stood like a perfectly molded peak. She pushed it down with her index finger when it was obvious it wasn't going to disappear on it's own. "And your point?

Olivia was intrigued by the interaction. If she had been the one questioning Dana, she would have been cut off with a, 'who went to med school?' But even if she had, Dana would not have been as apt to argue with her. Instead she would run off to do an autopsy that just couldn't wait a second longer, bury herself under piles and piles of paper work, or go lock herself in the bathroom. She trusted Brynn, not that she didn't trust Olivia, but there was something different in the way she interacted with Brynn. She wasn't afraid to get mad, openly push her away, and out right argue with her. She wasn't like that with Olivia. It was rare that Dana's temper flared with her, and yet here she stood not only pushing her limits with Brynn but also visibly showing her anger.

Brynn held out the glass of Ensure, trying for some sort of a peace treaty. "I want you to drink this and we'll go from there."

"I don't want it." Dana gritted her teeth as Brynn stepped closer with the glass. Her nostrils flared again, but it didn't deter Brynn.

"You need it." She stated firmly, urging her to take the glass.

"I said," Dana's arm flung out sending the glass flying from Brynn's hand, only to land shattered into a mess of splintered glass and chocolate brown ooze. "I don't want it."

Brynn could visibly read the shock on Olivia and Alex's faces. Their expressions almost mirrored Dana's. The petite redhead couldn't believe she'd done it. It had truly been an accident; she had swung her arm in exasperation, not in a defensive move. She stared with gapping mouth for a few seconds at the mess, before moving to clean it up.

"I'll get it." Brynn reached for the paper towels.

"I've got it." Dana growled back, jerking away.

Brynn sighed. She wasn't going to push it. Although she knew right now, if it came down to it, she would physically prevail. Her biggest fear was hurting the woman she loved. Both physically and emotionally, and right now the woman of her affections was very fragile on both fronts. Something as simple as grabbing her wrist to take the paper towels from her could result in fractured bones. "At least let me help."

"Just…" Dana looked around. "Go in the other room."

"Dana?"

Dana glared at Olivia for a second. "All of you, just, just let me do this. Alone."

Brynn nodded her assent and directed them into the living room. Once there, Olivia voiced her concern over having never seen Dana act like that. Of course she had been verbal with her feelings in the past, and there was the incident with the rock wall, but she had never actually struck out at anyone that Olivia knew of.

"I haven't seen her like this before either." Brynn admitted. "But, it's not uncommon with everything her body is going through. I'm actually surprised she's as calm as she is."

"Really?" Alex was still shocked.

Brynn nodded. "Electrolyte and hormone imbalance can really alter a person's normal personality."

"Shit!" The guttural sound that rose from the kitchen was more that of a wounded animal than an aggressive one.

Brynn held up her hand indicating that Olivia and Alex should stay put, while she ran to survey the situation. "Dana?"

"What?" Dana stood at the sink running water over a wound that was clearly bleeding.

"Let me see." Brynn cut the water off, and supported the injured hand in one of hers. "You've got a chunk of glass in there."

"It's nothing."

"We're not going to add gangrene to your list of current medical aliments." Brynn looked around the kitchen remembering her bag was in the living room. "Let's go get my bag."

Dana didn't argue, but followed mutely behind her. Brynn explained what happened, before Olivia and Alex disappeared to finish cleaning up the mess in the kitchen.

Dana watched her gentle ministrations with awe. After the way she'd been acting toward her friend she had expected her to not be so caring. In fact she doubted, had the tables been reversed, she would have been as gentle in retrieving the foreign object. In fact, she knew with any certainty, that if she were dealing with Mulder in a mood like she'd in been lately she would not be gentle in the least.

After removing the glass Brynn gently cradled the injured hand on her lap while cleaning it with antiseptic. Dana pulled away, almost simultaneously retching. Dana almost didn't make in to the kitchen before the contents of her stomach projected across the room. Luckily she had missed the carpet in the living room.

She moved to the sink where she dry heaved for several more minutes. Feeling the warmth of Brynn's flat palm rubbing gentle circles between her shoulder blades. She rinsed her mouth out, and excused herself to go up stairs and change.

Brynn ushered Olivia and Alex out before cleaning up the emesis that now littered the floor. Her kitchen had now been officially christened. Upon returning to the living room she heard the concerned conversation of Dana's friends. It seemed they were both worried she was anorexic. And while Brynn had silently feared the same thing few days earlier, her medical training was finally kicking back in.

"She's not." Brynn sat down in the armchair. "And I'm not just saying that because she denies it. Most anorexics don't projectile vomit, and she definitely didn't make herself vomit tonight."

"Then what's going on?" Olivia leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees, while clasping her hands together. "She's not looking any better. I'd venture to say she's looking worse."

"I know." Brynn nodded, and both woman caught the apprehension and regret in her tone. "I'm trying to get her to agree on going back in the hospital, but she won't hear of it. Right now, I think the problem lies with her body. She's rejecting food."

Before Olivia could ask what could be done under the circumstances, they heard a commotion from the stairs.

Brynn jumped up and ran to see what had fallen, and to her dismay she found the skeletal figure of her friend lying in a heap. That was it, unconscious or not Dana was going to the hospital. Kneeling she reached down to find a pulse, and heard the fallen woman mumble. "I'm fine."

"Uh huh, sure you are." She shook her head, and watched the second hand on her watch as blue eyes stared up at her professional mask. "I'm taking you to the hospital."

"I said I'm fine." Dana sat up abruptly, pushing away the worried hands, and glaring over the blonde's shoulder. "I… I tripped."

"I don't care why you fell down the stairs, you need to be in the hospital." Brynn restated.

"I didn't lose consciousness." Dana smiled, willing her temper to cool. "I can tell you the exact number of stairs I bounced off of."

"Is that so?" Brynn fought her own smile.

"I'm fine Brynn. I would tell you if I weren't." Her eyes pleaded with the figures behind Brynn to back her up. They weren't taking the bait.

"No, I don't believe you would." Brynn glanced back over her shoulder, before going back to checking her patient over. "What'd you hit?"

"The stairs."

"That's not what I meant. Smart Alec."

"My ribs, and my head." Dana rubbed the back of her head. "We all know how thick my skull is. I'm seriously fine."

Brynn pulled a penlight out of one of the cargo pockets on her shorts. "Let me be the judge of that."

"You always carry a pen light on you?" Dana asked.

"You can never be too prepared." Brynn answered dryly as she checked Dana's pupils. "Well, they are equally reactive."

"See." Dana smiled and pushed herself to her feet, letting a quiet moan escape her lips.

Brynn followed suit and before Dana could move away she pulled her shirt up revealing a few whelps along her rib cage from where various steps had connected with her body. "What do you want to bet you've broken a few?"

Dana pulled her shirt down abruptly. "I don't gamble."

"Fine." Brynn led the way back to the living room, where Dana made herself comfortable on the sofa.

"So, how was the trip?" Dana turned the attention on her friends.

About half an hour into the conversation Dana turned several shades of green and made her way to the bathroom. Brynn followed her, bringing her medical bag along for good measure. Dana brought up a stomach full of bile before retching helplessly into the porcelain bowl. Brynn pulled out a vial and syringe from her bag and artfully drew up the liquid out.

Dana felt Brynn push the damp locks of hair off her forehead.

"I'm going to give you a Phenergan injection." Brynn forewarned before she stuck the needle into Dana's upper thigh.

When the heaves subsided, Olivia and Brynn helped Dana into the living room. She was already groggy from the Phenergan. Half of her cursing Brynn for giving her the anti-emetic, the other half thankful the nausea was finally diminishing. When she finally drifted off to sleep, Brynn carried her up the stairs and laid her in her bed.

Dana slept for almost twelve hours straight, minus the first six hours when Brynn woke her hourly to make sure she was still lucid. She knew she shouldn't have given her Phenergan with a possible head injury, because of the inability to gauge where the grogginess was coming from. Still she couldn't just let Dana continue to dry heave all night. Since she had vomited before hitting her head, Brynn was fairly confident that it was unrelated to her falling down the stairs.

When Dana awoke it was to an empty bed. Still groggy from the after-effects of the Phenergan Brynn had given her; Dana stumbled downstairs and into the kitchen. Olivia, Brynn, and Alex were seated around the table sipping coffee, and talking about the different things they had done while visiting the Outer Banks.

"Morning." Dana mumbled wiping her hand across her face. Her hair was a tangled mess, and Olivia couldn't help the small smile forming on her lips as she spotted her disheveled friend.

"How are you feeling?" Brynn stood up, in an attempt to offer Dana a seat. Dana however knew it was Brynn's way of stepping forward to get a better visual examine. She wasn't the only doctor who could be sneaky in her examinations.

"Like somebody drugged me." She stared pointedly at the petite blonde, ignoring the green eyes inspecting her body.

"Well, it stopped the dry heaves, and you slept like a baby." She watched Dana's expression, which was elusive in the least.

"I would have slept like a log, if you didn't wake me up every five minutes." Dana's right hand rested protectively over her stomach.

"Stomach still bothering you?"

"No." Dana gave the group a one-shouldered shrug while casually dropping her hand to her side. She turned her head to the table. "Good morning, ladies."

"Good morning," they greeted. Olivia was watching her almost as closely as Brynn. Alex's concern was almost as plainly written on her face.

"Who died?"

"You should have a seat." Brynn offered.

Dana shook her head. "I'm fine, and I'm not going to the hospital so forget it."

"I told you we should have taken her in while she was still out for the count." Alex rolled her eyes at the strong-willed woman. If a strong will could keep you alive, Dana Scully would live forever. Unfortunately strong will not withstanding, if something didn't change soon, she wouldn't live to see another February birthday. Something every person in the room was remotely aware of on some level or another, including the pragmatic Dr. Scully.

"Like that would have happened."

"You really weren't in any shape to argue at the time." Olivia carefully pointed out.

"Look, it's nothing. Just leave me the hell alone."

"Dana, we aren't giving you a choice here." Brynn paused. Her green eyes looked like a plasma fire burned in them. "I am not giving you a choice."

She turned to Brynn like a tiger ready to attack. "I'm tired of you telling me what I can and can not do. Just because we've kissed a few times doesn't give you the right to run my life!"

"I am your doctor Dana."

"Not anymore you're not!"

"I don't understand why you are acting like this, unless your electrolytes are out of whack again."

"It's not my frickin' electrolytes." Dana's substitution for the "f" word, showed Brynn, at least part of her brain was still functioning correctly. At least her reserved catholic self still had some control.

"Then I guess you're just…"

"Don't you dare say hormonal." Dana's voice was feral with warning.

_Hormonal_, Brynn finished the statement in her head. "Speaking of hormonal, when was your last period?"

"I don't believe that's any of your business."

"Oh, I forgot you fired me." Brynn rolled her eyes. "What medications have you been taking that I don't know about?"

"Excuse me?" Dana couldn't believe the nerve of her so called friend. And to think she kissed her, not once but several times.

"You heard me." Brynn noticed the almost glassy look in Dana's eyes. Not that she was attributing it to drug use, at least not just yet.

"I don't need this."

"You're right. What you need is a swift kick in the ass! Except everyone who is willing to do it, is afraid they are going to hurt you. Damn it Dana, can't you see what you are doing to yourself."

As Dana turned to exit the kitchen, Brynn grabbed her wrist.

"Get the hell off me!" With out warning Dana swung around, using Brynn's grasp as a pivot point. With a strength no one had seen in months, Dana used her combat knowledge, and throwing her weight into it she slammed her balled fist into the side of Brynn's face. Taken completely off guard Brynn stumbled back letting go of Dana's arm as her vision darkened considerably before clearing.

"What the hell!" Olivia was on her feet before Brynn could recover.

"Don't come near me." Dana warned Olivia, her eyes frantically searching the living room.

Olivia's stomach lurched with the realization that Dana was looking for her service weapon. "Dana you need to calm down."

"I am calm." Dana stepped back, her respirations ragged as she continued to look for the elusive weapon. Her posturing remained defensive, and Olivia took another step forward.

Brynn stood still half shocked, trying to process what was happening. _Drugs? No_, she really didn't believe Dana was capable of abusing any drugs, illegal or prescription. But that would be the easiest explanation. _Vomiting? Cut on hand? Phenergan? No, Phenergan doesn't normally cause people to become combative. Stairs? Fall?_ Brynn fingered the edges of the whelp forming on her face. _Shit!_

Her brain put the pieces together just in time to see Olivia encroaching on the smaller woman. "Wait!"

Olivia turned around to look at Brynn. "What?"

"Duck!"

Olivia ducked just causing Dana to miss her head with the 10 in marble replica of David. The statue slipping from her grip and putting a nice sized hole in the dry wall, before landing on the carpet surprisingly in one piece.

"Damn it, Dana." Alex couldn't believe what she was witnessing. Had the little man connected with Olivia's skull, there was no telling the massive damage it would have done.

Brynn stepped up beside Olivia as they backed her into a corner, both women standing just out side of striking distance. Brynn asked Alex to bring her, her cell phone and medical bag from the table in the entryway. While she was waiting she told Olivia they would just wait until Dana's burst of energy was drained. Which shouldn't be long, but then again the same was said for the little old combative ladies in nursing homes who often carried on for hours having the strength of ten gladiators, when they couldn't even walk twenty feet.

With her phone in hand Brynn called for a Medical transport to be dispatched from base. She informed them that she would need restraints and CT standing by for their arrival. She then pulled up a dose of Haldol, and seeing Dana starting to tire, took a step forward.

Dana pounced on Brynn effectively knocking her over. Brynn wrapped her arms around the smaller frame and brought Dana down with her. She yelled out as Dana sunk her teeth into the flesh covering her collarbone, but didn't let go. Olivia was leaning in to help. "Grab her hands, watch the head."

Olivia didn't think her head was going to be a problem, since Dana hadn't let up on the grip her teeth had on Brynn. "Alex if you can pull her pants down a couple inches."

There was no time for her to think, Alex just did as she was told, pulling the flannel material down far enough for Brynn to inject the sedative. As the needle breached the muscles in her thigh, Dana bit down harder on Brynn's collarbone.

"Damn it!" Brynn knew without a doubt she had broken through the skin. She'd be lucky not to have impressions in the bone from that bite.

"You bitch!" Dana hissed, pulling back. The blood on her lips confirmed Brynn's earlier assessment. Dana struggled against the hold Olivia had on her wrists. "Let go of me! You hussy."

Olivia tightened her grip.

"You're hurting me." Dana yanked one hand free and slammed it into the side of her head. "Make it stop!"

Brynn slid out from under her, ignoring the sting and oozing blood from her own wounds. "You can let go of her Olivia, the Haldol should kick in any second now."

Olivia let go of Dana's other arm, and Dana sat Indian style cradling her head in her hands while rocking back and forth. "What the hell did you do to me?"

"I just gave you Haldol." Brynn watched Dana get back to her feet, while pressing her palms firmly into her temples. She should be falling over now, not getting up.

"You're lying. You put the cancer back in my head." She shrieked, and lunged toward Olivia who was standing closest. "And you helped her!"

Brynn grabbed Dana around her upper torso, effectively trapping her arms against her body before she could do any physical damage to Olivia. The emotional damage was already done, and Brynn would deal with that later. "Alex, draw up 2 cc of Haldol. I'm going to need you to give it to her, just like I did while ago."

Alex's hands shook as she drew up the second dose. "I don't know if I can."

"We don't have time for you to second guess yourself, just do it." Brynn spoke to her the same way she would a scared medic under her command.

Alex hesitated for a second, but shoved the needle into Dana's hip. "You're doing fine."

"You're killing me!" Dana thrashed in Brynn's clutch. Her strength was failing her, at least slightly. It was still a struggle for Brynn to hold her, and she was as feisty as ever. The second dose of Haldol only seemed to feed her anger.

She brought both feet up in the air kicking Olivia in the stomach and knocking Brynn on her back. Brynn held on for all she was worth, but it wasn't enough. Dana bolted for the door and right into the arms of two large burly medics. "Restrain her, and watch her head."

"Yes ma'am." The medic who now held Dana in a bear hug with her feet dangling half a foot above the floor answered.

Brynn pulled herself to her feet. "She's had two doses of Haldol and it's only making things worse. I'll ride with you, and I want her to go directly to CT."

She turned to check on Olivia while they strapped the still combative Dana to a gurney. "You ok?"

"Yeah, she just knocked the wind out me." Olivia was still partially dumbfounded. "She got you good though."

Brynn raised her eyebrow, which caused the whole side of her face to light on fire. She reminded herself not to do that again in the near future. "Alex, you did good. I am glad you were both here. I couldn't have handled that alone."

"What do you think is going on?" The taller blonde asked, concern masking her face.

"I'll know more after the CT scan."

"Cancer?" Olivia voiced the dreaded question.

"No, at least I hope not." Brynn sighed. "Alex if you'll follow the ambulance, I'll let the front gate know you're with us."

Alex nodded as they headed out the front door.

Brynn climbed in the back of the ambulance so she could monitor Dana. She had refused to let the medics look at her own injuries. Even after everything Dana had just done, it was still hard to see her strapped down. She had been fighting so hard in the four point restraints; the medics had also strapped her down to the gurney. None of this had stopped her plight, and she continued to thrash against the restraints. Brynn reminded herself that this was as much for Dana's safety as anyone else's. In fact she might even be grateful later. Of course at this point, Brynn wasn't holding her breath.

Brynn stood in the observation booth while the CT scan was being done. Her fears were confirmed, and she didn't have time to berate herself. That would have to wait. She picked up the phone and called their resident brain surgeon. He'd been on base for about six months, and his reputation had preceded him. Brynn thought this was a good thing, since they didn't really have time to transport Dana. The situation was already urgent.

Dr. Fagan took one look at the CT films and concurred with Dr. Abernathy's findings. Before writing up orders for Dana's pre-op prep, he voiced his concerns over Brynn's injuries. "Colonel, I think you need to get yourself checked out."

"I'm fine Major Fagan. I'm going to talk to her friends and family and I'll meet you in the scrub area."

"Colonel, forgive me, but I don't think you are going to be of much assistance to me with only one eye open."

Brynn was hoping no one would notice that her eye was effectively swollen shut. "I'll be fine Major, and I don't believe I asked for your opinion."

"No ma'am." He apologized, having never seen Dr. Abernathy pull rank before. Not that he'd work with her all that often.

"Fine, I'll see you in ten to fifteen minutes." Brynn headed back out to the waiting room to find Alex and Olivia. Both of who looked like death warmed over them selves. Brynn sat beside them in on of the hard plastic chairs. "I've got good news and bad news."

"Cancer?" Alex was the first one to ask.

"That's the good news." Brynn gave a thin smile. "It's not a relapse. The bad news is it does involve her brain. She's got…"

Brynn fumbled for a minute, trying to figure out just how she'd missed it in the first place. "She's got a hematoma. Actually from what Dr. Fagan gathered from her CT scan it's an old hematoma, one that probably clotted sometime ago. He estimates that when she fell down the stairs last night she knocked the clot loose, and started to bleed internally again. It looks like the bleeding has stopped, but the trauma from the clot breaking lose, has caused her brain to start swelling. The original hematoma was enough to cause the subtle personality changes we've seen. The trauma she sustained last night, is what caused her to be so totally out of character today."

"Are they going to be able to fix it?" Olivia's voice was thick with concern.

"Dr. Fagan is going to drill a few tiny holes in her skull, and draw the blood clots out. They are still fluid enough that the surgery will be relatively minor. It could be three to four days before we will know if there is any permanent damage done." The last part was said in what Olivia could only describe as a self-depreciating tone.

She decided to do the only thing she could at the moment, aside from wait. "Have you been checked out?"

"No, Olivia. I'm actually going to scrub in on Dana's surgery first."

"Can you even see out of that eye?" Alex waved her hand in front of Brynn's face for effect.

Brynn looked at her watch. "I need to go. I'll let you know as soon as she is out of surgery."

"What do you think that was about?" Alex asked Olivia.

"You picked up on it too?" Olivia watched as Alex nodded. "I think she blames herself."

"She couldn't have known could she?"

"I think we could all beat ourselves up for things we should've seen that weren't quite right. But I don't think anyone of us is to blame for it going on undetected."

"Colonel Abernathy?"

"Sir?" Brynn spun to face an older officer with graying hair, and the rank of a two star general on his shoulder.

"At ease, you're not even in uniform Brynn."

"Yes sir. What can I do for you sir?"

"You can get yourself checked out Colonel."

"I'm fine sir."

"It's not a suggestion." The general stared at her for a minute. "Dr. Fagan has things under control for your patient and he will find you as soon as the surgery is complete. In the meantime I am ordering you to be seen."

"Yes sir." Brynn gave a single nod of her head. "Was there anything else sir?"  
"No, you're dismissed."

"Dr. Abernathy," One of the nurses stopped her in the hall. "They are prepping her for surgery."

"Thanks. Let Dr. Fagan know I won't be scrubbing in, this time. And to find me after surgery."

"Yes ma'am."

Four hours later Dr. Fagan found Dr. Abernathy in the OR doctor's lounge. "She's in recovery and stable. I'm pretty sure the surgery was successful, we'll know more in twenty-four to forty-eight hours."

When Dana opened her eyes for the first coherent time since surgery it was to see Brynn sitting at her bedside. She had a vague recollection of what had happened. Well, not so much of the events that happened after she fell down the stairs. But she was more then well aware of the fact she had been a total ass.

"Hey." Brynn broke into her musings. "It's good to see those baby blues."

Dana noticed the deep black and purple bruising around Brynn's eye. "Did I do that?"

Brynn looked away. "It's not important."

"It is." Dana sat up in bed, quickly realizing that wasn't such a smart move.

Brynn was on her feet and at Dana's side before the short moan finished. "You need to take it easy, you're recovering from surgery."

"What kind of surgery?" Dana closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. "It feels like wild monkeys have been having sex in my head."

Brynn couldn't stop the smile from tugging at her lips, but it was quickly replaced as she realized she need to explain what happened to her friend. "It's my fault really."

"What's your fault?" Dana opened her eyes and looked up.

"I should have done a scan when you were acting funny in New York."

"I didn't act funny."

"Rock climbing with out any gear?"

"Oh, that." Dana's voice fell.

"Yeah, it should have clued me in. You had a hematoma on your brain, and it was healing, until you fell down the stairs. When you hit your head it knocked the hematoma loose and the trauma caused some minor swelling. That combined with the pressure from the hematoma caused you to take leave of your senses."

Dana eyed the bruising. "Is that all I did?"

Brynn looked away again. "Luckily we have a pretty decent brain surgeon on staff here. He drilled a few small holes in your skull and suctioned the hematomas off."

"Just what I need, more holes in my head." Dana reached for Brynn's hand. "You're avoiding my question."

"I'm sure Dr. Fagan wants to know you are lucid." Brynn pulled away before Dana could reach her. "I'll go get him."

"I want to know what I did." Dana demanded.

"I should have seen the signs, I should have known."

"Damn it Brynn, your human. Hell I should have followed your advice in the first place. I should have never tried to save that kid."

"So you could die of cancer?"

"It would have been better then the hell I've put you through."

"I'm going to get Dr. Fagan."

"Whatever."

After Dr. Fagan left, Brynn didn't come back as Dana had expected. She didn't come back in an hour, or two, or three. When Dana awoke the next morning, she wasn't there.

"This is ridiculous." Dana spoke to an empty room as she rang the nurse's call bell.

"Can I help you Dr. Scully?"

Dana decided not to tell the petite brunette to call her Dana. She wasn't in the mood for niceties. "I want to see Dr. Abernathy."

"I'm afraid she's signed off on your care, Dr. Fagan is following you."

"I don't care who's following me. I want to see Brynn."

"I'll see if I can't find her." The nurse ducked out.

Two hours later Brynn stepped in wearing her dress uniform. "I've only got thirty seconds."

"Well, hello to you to." Dana pulled at the sheets. "Why haven't you been around?"

"I've been around. I've got work to do."

"I thought…" Dana looked down at her fingers, why was it so hard. "Why did you sign off on my care?"

"Dr. Fagan is completely capable of taking care of you."

"But you're my doctor." Okay now she sounded like a spoiled three-year old.

"You fired me, remember."

"It's never been that easy to fire you before." Dana pouted.

Brynn looked at her watch. "I'm going to be late."

"Fine." It wasn't like she even gave Dana a chance to respond before she disappeared down the hall.

Brynn didn't stop until she was safe inside her office back at the USAIRMD building. She didn't have anywhere she needed to be, she just couldn't deal with Dana right now. She realized how much she was currently acting like her friend, but she didn't care.

"Benson." Olivia answered her cell phone.

"Olivia, it's Scully." She used her last name out of habit, years of answering that way to Mulder.

"Dana, hey… I'm uh, on the scene right now. Can I give you a call back in an hour."

"Don't bother." Dana sighed into the phone before hanging up and turning on her side. Her head was hurting and she wasn't sure if it was from the surgery or the stress of the day.

An hour later her phone rang, and rang, and rang. Finally one of the nurses came in. "Dr. Scully's room, Nurse Holloway speaking."

"This is Olivia Benson, I was calling to talk to Dana."

"One second." The young woman covered the receiver. "Dr. Scully, it's Olivia Benson."

"My head hurts." Dana mumbled.

"Ms. Benson she's not feeling well right now. Can I have her call you when she's feeling up to it?"

"Yes, she has my number." Olivia hung up the phone and tried calling Brynn. There was no answer at her home or office number.

"Well, Dr. Scully." Dr. Fagan stood in the doorway a week later. "I think you're ready to be discharged."

"Good." Dana looked over to her mom, who was the only person Dana was talking to besides the staff that was taking care of her. She'd been avoiding calls from Olivia, and Alex, and Brynn wasn't coming by to see her. "I trust you'll let Dr. Abernathy know of my progress."

"She's been checking on your improvement everyday." Dr. Fagan responded not realizing Brynn hadn't been in to see her in a week. "But I'll be sure to let her know you've been discharged from my care. You may still need to follow up with her."

"What about work?"

"I can release you for limited duty in a week, but I'm afraid you'll have to talk to Dr. Abernathy about getting a full release."

Dana nodded, and waited until Dr. Fagan had left before mumbling… "That should be as fun as pulling teeth."

"Dana?" Her mom questioned. "What happened between you two?"  
"Best I can tell, I was a total ass."


	9. No Limits

No Limits

"Dana, Brynn's on the phone." Maggie stood in the doorway to Dana's old room.

"Tell her I'm busy."

Maggie shook her head and walked in. "If you want to blow her off, you do it. I'm not your go between momma."

Dana looked at the receiver being shoved in her hand. "But mom…"

"Don't but me Dana." Her mom walked out of the room before she could protest further.

"Hello?" Dana put the phone to her ear.

"Momma always knows best."

"I guess." Dana responded.

"Look, I owe you an apology."

"For what?" Dana didn't follow.

"I didn't do my job, I should have seen the signs."

"I didn't see them either."

"You were my patient, my responsibility." Her self-depreciating tone was evident even over the phone lines.

"So is that why you've been hiding from me?"

"You told me you didn't want me to be your doctor, and after I found out about the hematoma I thought maybe I didn't deserve to be your doctor."

"So what changed your mind?" Dana's tone wasn't accusing.

"I haven't changed my mind, I'm thinking about turning in my commission and finding another profession. But I didn't want to lose my closest friend."

"You can't get rid of me that easy Brynn, and the Doctor Abernathy I know isn't a quitter."

"I'm not quitting. I'm walking away before I make a mistake that will cost someone their life."

"Damn the difference. You don't think I've had time to review the events that lead up to my surgery? You missed it for the same reasons I missed it. I had so many other things going on that could have caused my symptoms. My electrolytes were out of balance; my hormone levels were probably screwed up. I'm surprised you even caught it when you did, I'm not sure I would have."

Maybe her colleagues were right, since Dana was basically repeating what they had already told her.

"I don't blame you Brynn."

"So we're okay, you and I?"

"Well, that all depends on if you sign my release or not."

"Don't you think it's a little soon."

"No."

"You've been out of the hospital what, two days?"

"Something like that." Dana grinned.

"I'll been over tonight to make an assessment. Your mom invited me to dinner."

"Guess she knew we'd work things out."

* * *

Brynn hadn't signed a work release for Dana, and at the end of the week an angry Dana headed back to New York. The time spent at her mother's house had done Dana wonders. She wasn't back to peak performance, but she wasn't looking quite as ghastly as she had been. Her mom tried to insist she take some more time off work, stay a little longer. But Dana dismissed her. Work called, it always did. It was her driving force, and even though she couldn't get Brynn to release her to full duty, she had Dr. Fagan's note. That was enough for now. She'd work something out in the near future. Maybe even go find some poor dumb schmuck with MD behind his name to write her release.

"Dana, what a surprise." Cragen smiled at the still too thin redhead. "I was under the impression you were out on sick leave indefinitely."

"I've been release for limited duty."

"Desk duty?" Cragen raised his eyebrows as he looked over the form.

"Autopsies, what have you," She mumbled almost incoherently.

"I thought you were under the care of Dr. Abernathy?"

"I was, and then I came to my senses." Dana cringed at the thought. Brynn hadn't even tried to contact her in the two days she'd been home. She missed her, even though she didn't want to. She wanted to be mad at her, and let her anger feel justified in a friendship gone south. Or was it more than a friendship? If she admitted it to herself, she was in love with Brynn. She probably always had been, but she wouldn't allow herself that luxury. She had a job to do, and Brynn stood in her way.

"When do you expect to be released to full duty?" Cragen broke into her thoughts, realizing there was probably good reason Dr. Abernathy hadn't signed her limited duty form.

"I'm not sure sir," As soon as I can find a doctor willing to put his or her license on the line. The last part went unsaid.

"Fine. Take the rest of the day off, and I'll see you tomorrow. I don't want you taking call, or going to any scenes."

"But, sir?"

He held up his hand to stop any protest. "And if you think you are getting back to active duty without Dr. Abernathy's signature, you've got another thing coming."

"She's not my doctor anymore." Dana stated coldly.

"It's not my problem." Cragen's voice softened before he continued. "It's good to have you back on staff."

"Thank you sir."

"You're back?" Olivia looked up from her desk to see Dana exiting Cragen's office.

"Officially tomorrow," Dana wanted to crawl in a hole. She hadn't treated Olivia like much of a friend lately. "Limited duty."

"Riding a desk?" Elliot inquired.

"And an autopsy table." Dana smiled.

"Why don't you join us for dinner tonight?" Elliot returned the infectious smile. "Alex and Liv are joining us, I'm sure we can find room for one more at the table."

"I'd love to…"

"But?" Olivia asked when Dana's voice trailed off.

"Mulder's flying in tonight."

"Oh."

"It's not what you think." She responded seeing the jealousy and hurt flash in Olivia's eyes. "It's case related."

"Cragen know you're working a case on the sly?" Elliot whispered.

"The FBI calls Elliot, he knows I can't refuse them."

"Or Mulder." Olivia mumbled low enough only Dana heard her.

"Stop by after work." Dana offered. She knew she owed Olivia an explanation and an apology in the very least.

"I'll see if I have time." Olivia looked down at her desk before glancing back up. "Who signed your work release?"

"Dr. Fagan."

"Brynn called me last night, wanted to know if I had seen you."

"She should have called me."

"You didn't even tell her you were leaving."

"We can talk about this later." Dana looked around the bullpen suddenly wanting to be anywhere that was as far away from this conversation as Pluto is from Earth.

"She asked me to call her if you returned to work."

"I'm surprised she didn't call Cragen and tell him I couldn't return to work. She seems so intent on running my life."

"She's worried about you."

"I'm better than I have been in months. She just wants…" to ruin my life. Dana knew it wasn't true so she didn't say it. It was funny, Dana was the one running away, and yet she was the one feeling rejected and hurt. "I'm going home."

"Fine." Olivia buried herself deep into a report, rather then lust after the woman walking away from her. It was so like Dana to throw up those walls. Luckily Brynn knew her well enough not to take Dana's running back to New York personally. Olivia ached for them both. Despite Brynn's concern for Dana, she had heard the hurt in her voice, the raw fear of what she might lose.

"You ok?" A warm voice and equally warm hand on her shoulder pulled her back to the bullpen.

"Alex, I didn't see you come in."

"No, you were kind of in La La land. Elliot filled me in on Dana's status. Think we should cancel dinner tonight and check on her?"

"No." Olivia answered a little too quickly. "She was invited to dinner, but she has plans with Mulder."

"Olivia?" Alex's eyes asked so much more than her voice could.

"You know I do." Olivia knew Alex had seen the jealousy in her eyes at the mention of Mulder. She wanted Alex to know she loved her. She was with her after all. Of course now Dana was back in the same state, and that just turned everything upside down. Something both women seemed all too aware of.

"I'll pick you up at six thirty then?"

"Yeah, uh, yeah that'll be good." Olivia decided she wouldn't go to Dana's. Let her spend time with Mulder, it didn't matter. Did it?

* * *

It was after ten when Olivia stood outside Dana's door, poised to knock. She'd let herself into the building with the copy of the key she still had. She heard laughing through the door, and then a loud moan. "Oh Mulder, you are just too much."

That was it. Olivia's hand fell to her side. Dana had once said she would always love Mulder. She shouldn't care. But she did. She left the building dejected.

Dana smiled. "So, what have you got for me?"

"That uh, fungus. You know the mushroom that might have cured your cancer?"

"Yeah?"

"The Lone Gun Men have found information that all the bodies may not have been destroyed."

"Mulder what are you telling me?"

"That the evidence is still out there. The truth behind the cancer, the cure."

"We don't know that it was a cure."

"But you want to know."

"Yes, I do. But… until you have the body."

"I know. There's nothing we can do. Frohikie is trying to locate the body now. In the meantime, there is something I need you to do."

"What?"

"I've got a body stored in Quantico, waiting for an autopsy. She's seven months pregnant, and I believe she's carrying an alien."

"Mulder?" Dana stopped before going off on one of her normal tangents about how most babies looked like aliens on sonograms; That this case was likely to be no different. No, this was just the opening she needed.

"Look I know that means you have to make up with Brynn, and what not."

"Actually," Dana gave him a sly grin. "I don't. All I need is a request from Skinner to let me on base to do the autopsy. Brynn could keep me off base as long as I didn't have a reason to be there, and as long as I was on medical leave. I technically am no longer on leave, and I have a reason to be there."

"Good, I'll book us a flight out for tomorrow morning."

"Guess that means I've got to call Cragen."

"I could do it?" Mulder offered.

"I'm a big girl. Besides, duty calls." Dana reached for the phone, and dialed the all too familiar number.

"Hello?"

"Captain Cragen, its Dana sorry to wake you."

"No problem. What's up?"

"I've been called out of town on official FBI business, and I need to head to Virginia tomorrow morning."

"Just be careful, and don't let anyone shoot you."

"Yes, sir. I'll make sure of it." She said goodbye and hung up.

"Are you going to call Olivia?"

"No." Dana didn't hesitate. Right now the last thing she wanted to do was call Olivia. It was obvious to her it was the last thing Olivia wanted too, otherwise she would have come over before going to Elliot's.

"Alex?"  
"No, Mulder. They don't…" her voice trailed off. "I need to get some sleep."

* * *

The pregnant lady had been an ploy to get Scully to help him look for any leads on what he was now referring to as the 'mushroom case.' After her initial complaints she agreed, besides it was better then sitting in an office in New York waiting for the morgue to call. True to form the Lone Gunmen had a live lead. Well, live in that it was a body that still contained evidence.

Olivia and Mulder were out tracking down leads every chance they got. She still didn't care for the guy, but she assured herself she was doing this for Dana, not him.

It took some persuading, but Brynn agreed to come up and help Dana work on the body Mulder had located and confiscated under 'official' FBI business. The local airbase was the only place Dana could work on the body under strict isolation and with out drawing too much attention. They had been pulling long hours, and Brynn knew if she was feeling worn out, Dana had to be fairing worse considering her recent setbacks. It had been a particularly long day and Brynn's eyes felt like they were going to fall out of their sockets. "Dana, it's time to call it a day."

Dana looked at her watch and sighed. "Yeah, you're right."

"I need to make a few stops, so I'll see you at your place."

"I'll be there." Dana smiled as she headed for the decontamination area.

Brynn knocked on the door, expecting Dana to open it. Instead sapphire eyes belonging to a tall blonde greeted her. "Alex?"

"We were waiting for Dana, come in." Alex stepped aside letting her in. She licked her lips hungrily as Brynn walked passed. An almost carnal grin pulled at her lips. She was hot for someone of only 5 foot 2.

"Hey." Olivia greeted, thinking the shorter blonde would freak if she had been in on Alex's earlier conversation.

"Hi." Brynn sat down on the chair across from the couch, and watched as Alex sat back down beside Olivia.

"Long day?" The blonde asked, unbuttoning her azure oxford.

"Too long." Brynn rubbed at the bridge of her nose as she kicked her shoes off.

"You look tense." Alex observed rubbing her hand over Olivia's thigh and feeling the heat through her jeans.

"Dana and I have just been pulling some really long hours studying that body, the fungus in it. With out knowing who to trust, it's just the two of us."

Olivia sighed as Brynn looked up getting lost in the dark brown pools. "Mulder and I actually found someone he believes is behind this whole thing. That's why we're here."

"Really?" Brynn pulled her eyes away from Olivia's to see Alex grimace. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah." Alex wasn't too convincing. Considering she wasn't convinced her self, she wasn't surprised when the concerned doctor stood and crossed the room.

"You're burning up." Brynn touched her forehead lightly, as the blonde flushed.

"It is a little warm in here." Olivia commented, drawing Brynn's gaze.

"Not you too?"

Her feather light touch caused Olivia's temperature to climb even higher. The immediate warmth in other areas of her body, assured Olivia that she wasn't sick. She also knew she couldn't follow through with the thoughts she was having… like what was under that army green…

Before Olivia's mind could wander further, Alex had pulled her own shirt off. The action sent buttons flying across the room. "Alex?"

Olivia's voice was huskier than she last remembered it.

"Yes?" She carried the vowel out for a beat, as her right hand caressed Olivia's thigh, her left sliding up under Brynn's skirt.

Brynn stepped back, her heart beating wildly in her chest. No way was this happening to her. Two beautiful women, minus one shockingly stunning redhead, who would only make this the most perfect dream ever encountered. Only somewhere in her mind she was vaguely aware this wasn't a dream. This was real. Long thin fingers pulled at her hose. She felt her own temperature rise several degrees, and reached up to loosen her collar.

"Let me help you with that."

Before she could refuse, Alex had extricated her hand from her skirt, and was quickly unbuttoning her shirt. Olivia stood up tearing her t-shirt over her head and throwing it on the floor, before helping Alex with the doctor's light blue air force issue shirt.

"Uh?" Was the gurgled response from Brynn when Dana opened the door to her apartment.

Alex's eyes quickly focused on the redhead who stood frozen in time. Dana wondered just when they had invented a ray gun that could freeze people, and just why some had to choose that particular point in time to shoot her with it. Her brain was telling her to leave, her heart was breaking, and yet her body was slowly responding to the half naked bodies pressed against each other in her living room. She was too involved in her own thought process to notice the feral stare of Alex's sapphire eyes, as she licked a trail from the top of Olivia's sternum to her lower lip.

Finally as if by some minor miracle the normally composed FBI Agent found her voice. "What is going on here? The last time I checked, it was my name on the lease."

"Come on in Dana, we were waiting for you." Alex beckoned.

"Doesn't look like you were waiting for anything." Dana's head felt a little fuzzy. In light of what she was witnessing, she was surprised to find herself still standing.

"She's right." Brynn was almost trying to make sense of the situation, but the fingers that tangled in the blonde fringe at the base of her neck, quickly caused that thought to flee.

Olivia's only retort was a complaining moan, as Alex leaned forward using her height to reach Dana. Wrapping lithe fingers around the nimble wrist, she pulled the Agent into the room. Pushing the door shut, Olivia came up behind her, dragging Brynn with her. Sandwiched between the two taller women, Dana felt two distinctly different hands cupping her breast. Long thin fingers snaked into silky red hair, pulling her into a kiss.

Now if Alex had kissed her like that the first time… what the hell was she thinking? Better yet what was she doing?

She wasn't sure how they got there, but somehow Dana found herself laying in bed with a slightly shorter body pressed into her left side. Another longer body was pressed against her right side. She deciphered from the mumbling in that ear, it was Olivia, which meant Brynn was on her left. And on the other side of Brynn, lay Alex with an arm extended over both bodies, and it's attached hand holding Dana's breast a little too possessively.

She hoped she was dreaming, and this was still part of the dream. Unfortunately the sliver of sunlight poking through the blinds forced to realize it was morning. With one more wishful plea, she opened her eyes. "Oh shit!"

It wasn't a dream, she moaned. There above the bed making a lazy circle was a red lacy thong, of the Alex variety. Sometime amidst their love making, the underwear had found its perch on the fan blade. The room was still thick with the heady smell of sex, and sweat from the hours they'd spent bringing each other to ecstasy and beyond. Dana's body was tender in places she didn't even know existed, and she was considered one of the best in her field of pathology and the human anatomy.

She wished she could extricate herself from the tangle of limbs and fingers, and bodies that surrounded her, but the task was impossible. She counted body parts, feeling different arms and legs under her, and over her, assuring herself it was just the four of them piled in her new king size bed. Wait a minute, she didn't own a king size bed?

She blinked several times, taking in the room. Her night stand, her dresser, her fan, Alex's thong, her closet, her room, not her bed. "Oh shit!"

This time her groan was loud enough to arouse the small blonde sleeping against her body. "Dana, are you ok?"

She shot up before she remembered any of the events of the night before. Bad move. The room spun and tilted in ways no room could humanly move. Come to think about it, rooms don't move. Brynn grabbed her head, as the events and images of the night before filtered into her brain. It was just a really vivid dream, she told herself. But the soreness between her legs told her otherwise. The scent on her hand confirmed she had indeed had sex. Maybe it was just Dana? She hoped. Her eyes still tightly closed against the growing nausea in her stomach.

"Who drugged me?" Olivia moaned.

"Oh shit!" Brynn echoed Dana's earlier sentiment.

"Cut the damn TV off." Alex pulled a pillow over her head, somehow managing to untangle her self from the human pretzel they had all become.

"This isn't real." Dana pushed Brynn out of her way, causing her body to fall over Alex, who mumbled incoherently into the mattress. It felt real, but Dana refused to believe it was. She disengaged her body from the tangle of legs and sheet, as she pulled the comforter off her bed. She retreated to the living room, where she curled into a ball of Scully flesh and dark green comforter. Which by the way, smelled too much like the memories of the night before.

She was probably the first to recover, or at least wake up. Brynn was second, and she seemed to be in much less shock than Dana was. Not that she wasn't in shock; she was just handling it better. Olivia and Alex remained in the bedroom. Alex was covering her head with a pillow, reminiscent of the vision of Dana under the comforter. Only Dana was completely hidden, as if the world couldn't figure out where she was. Olivia stared with awe at the red thong, tracking its circles in the air above her.

Brynn walked into the living room, seeing the clothes and mess they had left in their wake. It was a wonder how any of the clothes had made it off in one piece. They had acted like a bunch of wild animals in heat.

"Whoever you are, go away." The lump in the middle of the room spoke to Brynn, who was conveniently wrapped in Dana's blue satin robe.

"Nope, I can't do that."

"Yes you can." The lump mumbled. "Last night didn't happen."

"If you would pull your head out of the sand you would see that it did happen." Brynn plopped down on the couch.

"Oh shit!" Dana repeated yet again. "I'm gonna be in purgatory for eternity now."

Brynn chuckled lightly.

"Don't laugh at me." The bundle warned. "Our first time wasn't supposed to be like… like… like one of Mulder's porno flicks."

"Our first time?" Brynn ignored the fact that she knew Dana was sobbing. "You mean you planned on this happening at some point?"

The comforter flipped back far enough to reveal a rat's nest of red hair and two crystal clear blue eyes peering out. "NO! Oh shit!"

"Would you stop with the Oh shit, already?" Brynn asked. "Now what did you mean by 'our first time?'"

"Nothing." Her head went back under the lump of covers, much like a turtle into its shell.

"No, I want to know."

"You're not really here, I'm not talking to you." Dana was being childish, and she knew it. But she didn't know what else to do at that particular moment. It's not like she could come out and profess her love to Brynn. Hell she didn't even know anymore what it was she felt and for who. Ok, so that wasn't entirely true. Damn the sex was great.

"What did we do?" Alex groaned throwing the pillow off the bed.

"You, what did you do?" Olivia corrected. "I was completely innocent."

"I think you lost your wings long before I lost my thong." Alex pointed to the ceiling fan. "Was it?"

"Good? I don't know what it was Alex. I… I don't know what we… what we did?"

"Where did they go?" Alex sat up.

"The living room, I don't think they'll get very far with little to no clothing."

"I just want to go home. Forget this whole thing ever happened." Alex whined.

"But it did happen Alex." Olivia stared blankly out the door. She decided not to point out the fact that Alex had sort of instigated the whole situation.

"You?"

Olivia shrugged.

"It was just sex." Alex's voice betrayed her true feelings.

"Was it?" Olivia asked.

"I, I don't know." Alex buried her face in her knees.

"What did you mean?" Brynn toed the mass under the comforter.

"Just shoot me now." Dana moaned. "We had sex… like… Oh shit!"

Brynn rocked back on her heels as the mass shot up into the air.

"We did it like they do it on the discovery channel." Dana was vaguely aware that this was some part of a song her Godson made her listen to. "We didn't do this."

Brynn grabbed her shoulders and looked into eyes that were red and puffy from crying. "Take a deep breath Dana. Look around you. We did this. You did this. I did this. Alex and Olivia did this."

"No, you don't understand." Dana didn't need to take a deep breath to know what they had done. The scent assaulted her senses even when she wasn't breathing. "We didn't do this of our own volition. We were drugged."

"You're starting to sound a little too much like Agent Mulder."

"I'd rather sound like him, then believe I could have acted out one of his wildest fantasies with out some type of outside influence." Dana was pacing, with the comforter held securely in place. "Don't you get it? People don't have sex like a bunch of animals."

"They do Dana."

"You do?"

"No, I don't."

"Right. You don't. I don't. Olivia doesn't." She decided not to state what kind of sex Alex was used to engaging in. She didn't think Alex was a sex fiend, but with her you never could be sure. "Something made us do this."

"What?"

"I don't know. It's just a theory, but I can prove it. We have everything we need at the base." Dana stormed back into the bedroom. "Get dressed, both of you."

"What?" Alex pulled the sheet tighter around her body, suddenly very aware of her nakedness.

"You know, get dressed. Put some clothes on."

"You're going to kill us aren't you?"

"Damn it, just get dressed." Dana barked, pulling a pair of jeans and a t-shirt out of her dresser. "And when in the hell did I get a king size bed?"

Dana jerked the door open and stopped short, unfortunately the train of people following behind her, weren't paying attention. She growled. "Mulder, Munch?"  
"I told you we shouldn't have bothered her." Munch grumbled. His face flushed with crimson embarrassment.

"Ladies." Mulder inclined his head, at the pile of women who had just walked into the back of his partner. Under other circumstances he would have found the site humorous. "Dana, something happened."

"Today keeps getting better and better." She commented bitterly. "If it has to do with you and Munch, I have enough to fill my nightmares for the next several centuries, and I don't want to know."

"We uh," Mulder seemed to have not registered the request as he stumbled to find the words. "We…"

Dana's hand covered his mouth. "Did you drive here?"

Mulder nodded, his gaze distant and haunted. Munch's wasn't much better. "Get in your car, and follow us. And I don't want any details. Understood?"

"Um… Scully?"

"No details Mulder. None." She held her hand up to stop any argument or incoherent babbling he was about to launch into.

"But…"

"Hush!" Her tone dared him to tread further, and he retreated back to his rental with Munch following behind.

"You don't think?" Alex commented as they followed behind.

"Ought!" Dana barked. "I don't want to think, got it? I don't want to know what kind of trouble he and Munch got into."

"Maybe they went to a club, and…" Olivia's voice trailed off under the cold stare of steely blue eyes.

"Picked up scabies." Brynn adlibbed for the hell of it, Dana hated her anyway, why should she try to stay in her good graces.

"Grrr!" Dana jerked her car keys out, and climbed into the large SUV. When everyone got in she turned the radio on, and blasted the speakers. She hoped to drown out any conversations before they started. It seemed to work, and no one said a word as they drove to the base.

Once they were in the lab Dana drew Mulder's and Munch's blood while Brynn drew Alex and Olivia. When she offered to draw Dana's the redhead refused. "I can get my own."

"I don't think so." Brynn took the needle out of her hand. "I understand payback's a bitch, so I'll be gentle."

"What is your problem?" Dana asked as Brynn slipped the needle into her antecubital vein.

"What ever it is you aren't telling me." Brynn sighed.

They were alone in the lab, having sent the others to a lobby area down the hall so they could work in peace. "All things considered, this isn't the place to have this discussion. And it sure as hell isn't the time to have it."

Dana ran a frustrated hand through her hair, as Brynn pulled the needle back out. She held up the vial of blood triumphantly. "You're turn."

"Yeah." Dana cleaned Brynn's arm with great gentleness. She could feel the sparks through the latex gloves, and let out a rush of air.

"Talk to me." Brynn pleaded as the needle slid painlessly into her arm.

"We've got work to do." Dana concentrated on the blood flowing back into the vial. Her heart ached, and only she knew why.

"What are we doing?" Brynn asked, as Dana pulled the needle out.

"We are running a full analysis on the blood."

"Looking for?"

"In the very least, elevated hormone levels." She started marking the smaller vials before putting a millimeter of blood in each one.

"And if you don't find any evidence that this was caused by an outside agent, what are you going to do?"

Dana reached back to her holstered gun, almost out of habit. "I'm going to shoot myself."

"That's not funny."

"It wasn't meant to be." Dana glanced up and saw the sheer pain in Brynn's eyes coupled with fear. The green orbs quickly tore away from the invading blue. "What are you going to do?"

"I haven't had time to think that far ahead." Brynn answered as Dana started loading the machine.

"Can you wait for this?" Dana asked once the machine started whirling. "I'm going to go up stairs and check on the cultures we've got growing."

"I'll come up with the results when I get them." Brynn slumped on to one of the lab stools. What had she done? She knew how morally wrong their little escapade the night before had been, ok so it wasn't so little. But, they could work through that, couldn't they?

The machine beeped and started spurting out results, about the same time that Brynn heard a crash from the room above her. Her first instinct was to run up and see if Dana was ok, her second instinct was to run away. It was glass breaking, of that she was sure. Which meant either someone threw something at Dana; Dana knocked something over, but she wasn't known to be a klutz; Or Dana was royally pissed. Intuition told Brynn it was the later. She grabbed the papers and headed up the stair well undetected by the others in the lobby.

When she stepped into the hallway Dana was coming out of the decontamination chamber, and ripping her bio-suit from her body. The plastic faceplate slammed into the wall hard enough to crack it. The action didn't give the FBI agent any pleasure as she spewed profanities that Brynn wasn't even sure existed in any human language. She wanted to wrap her arms around the redhead, and hold her until her rage subsided, but it was that same rage, which kept Brynn cemented in place. "Dana?"

"They took it. All of it! It's gone. Every last slide, every last scrap of paper." Tears streamed down her face. "While we were all making out like a bunch of horny teenagers with half a brain, they came in here and destroyed everything. And now you're going to tell me last night had nothing to do with it."

"Actually I haven't even looked." Brynn glanced at the papers gripped in her hand. Her eyes narrowed. She had only managed to grab the first specimen's lab results, and she wasn't even sure which person they belonged too. The interesting thing, there was something odd in the mix. Very odd indeed.

"What?" Dana threw the ruined suit at the wall opposite her.

"I don't know. We need to go back down stairs."

"Brynn?" Dana took off after the blonde.

Brynn laid the results out on the counter. "Well I'll be."

Dana stared for a minute, and then heard a shuffle in the doorway. She looked up to see Mulder and Munch standing there. "You're hormone levels were effected. They are virtually back to normal now, or will be in the next couple hours."

"Just hormones?" Mulder sighed.

"Not exactly." Dana continued to explain, looking to Brynn for any further insight. "There is an element present, but from looking at the different levels in everyone's blood stream, they are directly related to the elevated levels of hormones. So, it's probably the cause of the elevation, but I doubt much more."

"So…" Munch shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at the floor.

"Whatever you two did last night, you did. Granted, without the elevated hormone levels, you probably wouldn't have done it." Brynn answered.

"You still had to have wanted to do it or it wouldn't have happened." Dana closed her eyes realizing the implications of her own words.

"Uh, no." Mulder shook his head.

"Mulder, whatever it is… you two have to work it out."

"This isn't going in the report." Mulder stated flatly.

"What report?" Dana threw back. "There is nothing to report. Everything's gone, Mulder. They sent in a sweep team. It's gone, all of it."

"What did?" Mulder didn't finish the question.

"I think the military's don't ask don't tell can apply here." Dana nodded. "Go home, figure it out on your own."

She didn't mean to sound cold, but she couldn't deal with Mulder's problems right now. She had to deal with her own, and Brynn's and Olivia's and Alex's. She couldn't deal with Mulder's self depreciation over having slept with Munch, or what ever it was they had done.

When she looked up again, the two men were gone. Brynn was looking at Alex's report again. "Look at this."

Dana looked at the numbers. "Yeah, I know, it doesn't correspond. Alex and Olivia have the same level of the catalyst in their blood, but Alex's hormone levels are higher. I think that's just Alex."

"Dana?" Brynn put her hand on her friend's shoulder.

"Please, don't." Dana pleaded. She didn't want to be touched, or held, or looked at with pity filled eyes. She could handle rejection, if it didn't come with those 'I'm sorry' looks. Alex and Olivia were in love, Brynn was, she didn't know what Brynn was. But whatever she was, Brynn wasn't in love with her. She couldn't be. "Last night was a bunch of messed up fantasies mixed with an overload of hormones."

"Was it?" Brynn remembered waking up sometime in the night surrounded by warm loving arms. Was it all in her head? Yes, they had had wild outlandish sex. But every second of it had been tender, passionate and full of something that wasn't just sex. Or was it?

Dana leaned her elbows on the counter and covered her face with her palms. "What are we going to do?"

"Do you love me?"

"What?" Dana mumbled into her palms.

"You heard me."

"Do you love me?" Dana returned the question. She lifted her head from her hands. "Does Olivia love me? Does she love Alex? Does she love you? Does Alex love me, or Olivia, or you? Do you love Alex? Do you love Olivia?"


	10. Aftermath

Aftermath

Alex reached over and took Olivia's hand in hers once the guys had left. "Are we ok? You and me?"

"Of course." Olivia squeezed her hand. "Alex I love you, and nothing is going to change that."

"But?"

"Things are different now. We," Olivia sighed. "We went some where we never should have. And…"

"You never stopped loving Dana."

"I am in love with you, Alex. But, no, I never stopped loving Dana. But this is so much more than that."

"Because of Brynn?"

"What was last night to you Alex?"

"I don't know."

"Was it just living out some twisted sexual fantasy, or was it more?"

"What are we going to tell them?" Brynn nodded to the hall indicating Olivia and Alex.

"The truth?"

"Which is?"

"I don't know." Dana responded, her voice a little too heated. Why did everyone always expect her to have the answers? Was it because she worked with the occult, the paranormal? This definitely belonged in the annals of the x files. Good thing it wouldn't actually make it there, if Dana had any say. "We tell them last night was a result of some chemical or pathogen we were exposed to. It's that simple."

"It's not that simple." Brynn sighed.

"It is for them. They don't need to know the details."

"Fine, you tell them."

Dana nodded.

"I'll be your back up." Brynn followed her down the hall to find Alex and Olivia in the lobby holding hands.

Dana stopped short. Why was this so hard? She was the one who wanted Alex and Olivia to get together. She had experienced things she was never meant to experience, and now she would always be on the outside looking in. No matter who dated whom, Dana would always be the outsider.

"Ahem." Dana cleared her throat, as the two women looked up. They were no closer to closure than anyone else was.

"What did you find?" Olivia's voice cracked.

"We were all exposed to something, and it caused our hormones to reach unknown levels." Dana stated flatly.

"Which means?" Alex probed for more information.

"We weren't in control of what happened last night."

"That's a lie." Olivia retorted, and for a minute Dana thought it was her own inner voice stating the bald truth. "Mulder told us what you told him and Munch. That this was just a catalyst of sorts. That what happened, happened because we wanted it to."

"I don't know about you, but I never wanted last night to happen." Dana stated coldly.

"Oh, so our conversation in the coffee shop after playing truth or dare, I just imagined that?" Olivia accused.

Alex jumped in before Dana could respond. "I didn't hear any one of us complaining last night."

"This isn't the place for this discussion." Brynn looked around the empty halls. Being the weekend they could have the whole building to themselves, but that was doubtful.

"Right." Dana nodded. "Let's take this back to my place, or something."

She wasn't sure why they had to discuss it at all, only that it had to be dealt with. The question in everyone's head was, 'was it just sex?' If it had been, the aftermath would be easy to deal with. But it wasn't. Life couldn't be that simple. Each one of them wondered if it was just sex to the person sitting next to them, and if it was how could they deal with their own feelings. Worse yet, what if it wasn't just sex?

The ride back to Dana's was painfully silent. She cut the radio off, and they were left alone in their thoughts. Brynn periodically glanced at Dana's profile, as if she could read what was going on in that complex head of hers. Olivia and Alex held hands; it was their anchor to what they knew was real. What existed between them would always be.

They all sat as far apart from each other as possible in Dana's living room. Most of the evidence of the night before had been removed when they were dressing that morning. It was now after noon, and the apartment was oddly quiet.

Olivia and Alex sat on opposite ends of the couch, neither one all that concerned with their proximity. Brynn had taken up residence in the chair across from the couch, only after Dana had brought in a wooden ladder back chair from the dinning room. She was sitting the furthest from the group, by choice.

Alex wished she was wearing one of power suits she often wore to court, because it was obvious someone needed to start the conversation. Since no one else seemed willing, it might as well be her. She did start the whole mess after all, right? She just wished for that little confidence boost, her business clothing gave her. She quietly cleared her throat. "I thought we were going to talk."

That wasn't exactly how she'd wanted to start, but it was what came out.

"I'm not sure what there is to talk about." Dana replied a little too coldly. Somewhere between the lab and home she'd managed to pick up the ice princess persona she'd left at FBI headquarters.

Silence filled the room, along with a new wave of tension. The sound of the ringing phone was harsh in the nothingness that seemed to surround them. Dana jerked the phone up and hotly answered. "Scully."

"It's Mulder, Munch and I figured out how we were exposed."

"That's nice."

"You don't want to know?"

"Mulder." She pressed through gritted teeth.

"It was delivered through a system in Munch's air vents. You might want to check yours."

"I'll look into it."

"So, what happened?" Mulder asked.

Dana couldn't believe the difference in his disposition, compared to a few hours earlier. "Mulder I have to go."

"You're not going to tell me are you?"

"Can you make a snowman in hell?" Dana asked before disconnecting the line. She looked at Brynn who despite everything going on around her, couldn't help but grin at Dana's question. "What's so funny?"

"Everything actually." Brynn was tired of them all sitting there thinking the worst, or whatever it was they were thinking. "Look at us, a bunch of grown women acting like this is the end of the world."

"Some of us have the luxury of going back to Maryland and pretending last night never happened." Dana shot back.

"You would think that." Brynn responded without thinking. At least she left out the part about a heartless bitch. Dana's response had hurt more than she had intended it to. She was merely speculating.

"And you could just transfer back to headquarters." Alex took her first bite at the argument about to ensue.

"You would love that wouldn't you. It would make your life so much easier, then you wouldn't have to decide who was the best in bed."

"No." Alex ignored the stab made at her. "I just figured you're so good at running away from things, especially when they involve feeling."

"Oh so now I'm the one with a heart of stone." Dana's eyes almost glowed she was so mad.

"You said it, I didn't." Alex backed down.

Olivia cleared her throat. "I don't think this approach is getting us anywhere. In fact, I'm afraid one of us is going to say or do something we don't mean to."

"It's a little late for that don't you think?" Dana stood up.

"She's right." Brynn agreed with Olivia. "Mood swings tend to follow peaks in hormones. We probably need to get back on an even keel before we tackle anything. We should just go to our respective dwellings, I'll stay at a hotel and we can met again in a day or two and see how things are going."

Once they all agreed that it was for the best, Alex and Olivia left and Brynn started calling around to find a hotel room to stay in. She preferred to find one that wouldn't break her bank. She was on hold with the third hotel she'd tried when a slender finger pushed the disconnect button on the base. "Just, stay here."

"I don't think that's wise." Brynn refused to look up.

"Look, your stuff is already in my guest room."

Brynn shook her head.

"Suit yourself." Dana shrugged and walked away. "I guess nothing is going to survive, friendships not withstanding."

The last part wasn't meant to be heard, Dana wasn't she even aware she'd spoken it aloud. Brynn sat there for a minute before following Dana into the bedroom. The king size bed was still there. "Interesting."

"What?" Dana mumbled.

"I would have thought they'd come back for the bed."

"Well, at least I got something out of the deal." Dana reached down and started stripping the linen from the bed.

"Let me help."

"Um, I managed to last through marathon sex, I think I can handle stripping a bed."

"Yeah, about that." Brynn smiled. "Maybe I can look into signing the paperwork for you to return to work with out restrictions."

"Don't do me any favors." Dana looked at the mattress cover, which thankfully was one of the high quality waterproof kind.

"For some reason I think your hostility towards me goes far beyond anything that has transpired in the last twenty-four hours."

"I said you could stay, I didn't say you could interrogate me." Dana gathered all the sheets together and headed toward the washroom.

"You're not sure our friendship will survive?" Brynn stood in the doorway watching the redhead start the washer and throw in a scoop of tide with bleach.

"I don't know what's going to happen between any of us Brynn."

"Fair enough." Brynn disappeared to the guest room.

Dana stood in the hallway listening to Brynn sing. She'd always loved hearing Brynn's angelic voice; she sounded so different when she sang. Of course right now she wondered how she could sing at a time like this.

Why keep concealing everything you're feeling?  
Say it to her, what can you lose?  
Maybe it shows,  
She's had clues, which she chose to ignore.  
Maybe though she knows,  
And just wants to go on as before.  
As a friend, nothing more  
So she closes the door.

Well, if she does  
Those are the dues.  
Once the words are spoken,  
Something may be broken.  
Still, you love her  
What can you lose?

But what if she goes?  
At least now, you have part of her.  
What if she had to choose?

The words floated to Dana's ears and she turned them over in her head. She tried to push them out, but they wouldn't leave. Was this song what Brynn was feeling? Was it what Dana had been avoiding for so long, all those years? She closed the door to the washroom and headed down the hall to the guest room. The door stood a jar, and Dana leaned against the frame. "What if she had to choose?"

"Huh?" Brynn turned around with clean clothes in her hands. She was getting ready to get in the shower, wash away the remains of the night.

"You were singing."

"Yeah… it keeps me from thinking."

"Does it?"

"Not really." Brynn shook her head. "It just… I don't know. It helps on some level."

"So what if you had to choose?"

"I don't have to choose, you already said it. I have the luxury of going back to Maryland and pretending last night never happened."

"Do you want that?" Dana stepped into the room, tears stinging at her eyes.

"I don't know what I want Dana. I want…"

"You can tell me."

"No, I can't." She looked down at the clothes in her hand. "I need a shower."

"Yeah, ok." Dana shrugged and walked out.

After Brynn had showered she changed the sheets around in the dryer and went to find Dana. As she walked into the master bedroom she heard the water turn on in the bathroom. She was surprised Dana had waited so long to shower; she was usually the first one to want to get a shower after they'd worked on dead bodies in school. Brynn smiled at the memory. That was in the past, and the reality that life would never be the same weighed on her heart. She headed back to the guest room and closed the door.

Dana stepped out into the hall, her hair still wet from the shower. She felt better. A shower shouldn't make you feel so good. Seeing the door to the guest room closed brought reality crashing back down on her.Dana knocked on the door. "What?"

"Can I come in?"

"It's your house." Brynn responded.

Dana opened the door, and not really knowing what to say asked "So when are you heading back to Maryland?"

"You want me to leave now?" Brynn's heart dropped.

"Did I say that?"

"No, but you might as well have." Brynn grumbled.

_With so much to win_

_ There's so much to lose._

Brynn had sung that line earlier and it reverberated through Dana's head. "We need to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about. You obviously want to pretend that last night didn't happen."

"Don't you?" Dana couldn't believe she was alone in this.

"Some parts of it yes."

"What parts?"

"I don't know."

"If you had to choose." Dana prodded.

"I don't have to choose. There's nothing for me to choose… I go home, there's nothing left for me here."

"Nothing?"

Brynn looked at her friend for a moment. She wasn't going to allow herself the luxury of misreading her. "What if you had to choose?"

"What if I lose it all?"

"What if you don't choose and it's all lost? They way I see it, you don't have much to lose."

"I have everything to lose." Dana walked in and sat down on the side of the bed. "I can go back to headquarters, and I lose it all."

"You'd still have your job, and Mulder."

"I don't want Mulder."

"What do you want Dana?"

"I want to go back in time."

"To when?" Brynn refrained from asking, didn't everyone?

"I don't know… to a time when you and I were still friends."

"I thought we were still friends."

"Well, to a time where… you and I could have…" Dana couldn't finish it. She closed her eyes and fell back on the bed.

"We still can."

"No we can't. There's… there's too much baggage. I can't keep riding this roller coaster, and neither can you."

"What do you want Dana? What do you really want?"

Dana kept her eyes closed. "I want a perfect world. I want to stay here and continue to work with the SVU. I want to keep Alex and Olivia as my dearest friends. I want you in my life in a way you never can be."

"In what way?"

Dana opened her eyes. "I want you to love me like you loved Kerri."

"I… I can't." Tears filled the other woman's eyes.

"I know." Dana stood up to leave, but felt warm fingers trap her wrist.

"I've always loved you more."

"What?"

"I've always loved you more." Brynn repeated herself. "I told you once I fell in love with Kerrie because I couldn't have the one person I really loved. Don't get me wrong, I loved Kerrie, but no one could ever replace you in my heart."

"Even after everything?"

"What doesn't make us stronger…"

"Kills us."

"And we're not dead." Brynn's eyes dropped for a moment. "Can you really be happy with Alex and Olivia as just friends?"

"Last night, was a fantasy Brynn. It happened, but it wasn't real, it wasn't love."

"How do you know this is?"

"I've known my whole life, I just was too busy to notice."

"Should we talk to Olivia and Alex?"

"Let's give them some time."

* * *

The following morning Alex and Olivia met at the coffee shop around the corner from the precinct. Dana and Brynn would be meeting them in a half an hour, but they wanted to talk first. Alex actually looked nervous for once in her life, and Olivia had to smile.

"What's so funny?"

"You're cute when you're nervous."

"I'm not nervous." Alex stirred her coffee.

"Look, you don't have anything to worry about Alex."

"Don't I." She looked up fresh tear filling her eyes. "Do you know how long I've wanted you?"

Olivia shook her head.

"Since the day I laid eyes on you. And now today… today I sit here awaiting a death sentence. All Dana has to do is come in here and say she loves you and you're gone, out of my life."

"Alex, look at me." Olivia laid her hand atop of Alex's. "I had to make a decision last night. I do love Dana."

Alex looked back to her steaming coffee.

"No, look at me." Olivia reached up and guided Alex's chin until she could see Alex's eyes. "I love Dana, but I am in love with you. I will always be in love with you. Can you understand that?"

"You want to be with her."

"Alex!" Olivia wanted to laugh. "I choose you."

"If she tells you today that she loves you…"

"I still choose you, Alex." Olivia smiled.

Alex gave a slight nod before down casting her eyes. "They're here."

Olivia turned and stood up as Dana and Brynn approached the table. Dana initiated a hug from the taller brunette before she and Brynn took their seats.

"Let's not beat around the bush." Dana started off, and looked to Brynn for reassurance. "We need to get some things out in the open, and then we need to move on."

Olivia and Alex nodded in agreement.

"First off, I don't think any of us would have let the events of the other night happen if we had been in complete control." Dana looked at Alex. "Do we all agree on that?"

Alex was the first to answer in the affirmative.

"Now… this is awkward, and I hope we can move past the whole we had sex thing." Dana smiled to try and break the tension. "We're all still friends right?"

Everyone nodded, and Dana wondered how she'd been voted spokesperson.

"Alright then, I know what I want. But I need to know what you want. Alex?"

"I…I want to be with Olivia."

"And Olivia?"

"I want to be with Alex." Olivia didn't hesitate, but she also hated to stab Dana in the heart like that. "I still want to be friends with you and Brynn."

"Just friends?" Dana asked.

"You know I love you Dana." Olivia took Alex's hand. "But…"

"I know... you're in love with Alex." Dana's genuine smile surprised both Alex and Olivia. "And I'll always be your friend, and I'll love you as much as I do Mulder. But I'm in love with Brynn."

"But, I'm in love with Alex." Brynn spoke up.

"What?" Came the unison reply of Dana and Alex.

"Just kidding." Brynn grinned. "I hope to be able to call you and Olivia my dearest friends. And hopefully it won't be too awkward, but I'm transferring to the CDC's New York Office, and Dana's letting me room with her."

"Roommates?" Olivia smiled.

"For now." Dana responded her eyes narrowing across the room.

"What?" Olivia followed her gaze.

There sitting just across the small café in a quite corner sat Munch and Mulder holding hands.

* * *

A/N: Hey guys! Sorry I think I got busy last week and updating completely slipped my mind. I'm almost ready to post the next story in the TCSTV series, proabably before Christmas... over Christmas and New Years? For my fellow Americans I hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving. To the rest of you guys, have a great week! And as always thank you for your feedback and continued support.


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